Gone and Missing
by kikistrain
Summary: Kirsten was abducted but now she's found. She is ok? Chapter 32 up.
1. The Beginning

**Ok here is the new story. I apologise for a part of it but bear with it and tell me what you think of it. God I miss the O.C! Oh btw, I've tweaked the OC time-line a bit. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer – Don't own any OC character and never have.

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Kirsten woke up once again to the California dawn and reached out for her husband. Usually at dawn he would be out surfing and mastering the waves of Newport Beach like a professional but today he was lying next to her with his hand gently on her hip where she noticed it for the first time.

Happy that her husband was in bed with her, she was disappointed that she wouldn't be woken up by his salty and luxurious kiss or get to see his toned legs sticking out from his surfing shorts when he walks to get changed. But maybe she will surprise him this time. She will be the one with the wet hair and long legs to stare at.

So she silently and gently crept out of bed and around to the closet where she exchanged her grey trousers and pink tank top for a black bikini which complimented her in every feminine curve and place possible. Then she went over to the bassinet where her baby daughter lay and saw that she was asleep and content. Kirsten gently rubbed the back of her fingers along the rosy cheeks of the child and gently smiled at her daughter's beauty marvelling at what she and Sandy had created together.

Then grabbing a towel she walked out to the back garden and set it down on the edge of the pool as she bent down to test the temperature of the water with her delicate and long slender fingers. It wasn't exactly cold but it wasn't warm either but she didn't care as she stepped to the edge and elegantly dived in. Several seconds later she came up for a breath and began to swim straight up and down the pool. Kirsten was however careful not to make too much noise because she didn't want to wake Ryan in the pool house or Sandy nearby as it was still early hours yet but she continued to swim quietly using her streamlined body to a great advantage.

After about half an hour to forty-five minutes of gentle swimming and about of a hundred lengths Kirsten pulled herself out of the water and quickly covered it with her towel. Sandy always said that she had the body of a goddess and it should be worshipped accordingly and in the 20 years of marriage and the 21 years that they have known each other, he has never failed to do so. Drying her skin briskly, Kirsten walked back into her bedroom where Sandy was still asleep. She threw her towel towards the closet and sat beside Sandy on his side of the bed as he had turned over and was now facing the closet. Then she leaned over him and let the water droplets from her hair fall onto Sandy's face and nose and watched as his face scrunched up as he flinched.

Pleased with her game, she lowered herself and gently grazed her lips over his and slowly his eyes opened to meet hers.

"What do I owe the pleasure?" he smiled wrapping his arms around her.

"This is your wake up call," she purred.

"I love your wake up calls cuz they always end up the same way."

"Yeh well that changed about 13 months ago," she smiled.

"I know."

They kissed each other good morning but their daughter had already inherited characteristics from their son and she always whimpered when they kissed. Today was no different.

"Seth must've brainwashed her already. I bet before long he'll have Ryan on his side too," Kirsten said breaking apart and resting her forehead on his chest.

"Well they say children share some traits."

"Yeh but does that include forbidding their parents to touch each other?"

"'Fraid so."

"Dammit," she cried into his chest.

"Sorry but I tried to keep Seth from her," Sandy laughed.

"Oh well, at least we still have Ryan."

Sandy and Kirsten remained like that for several minutes because Scarlett had calmed down the second they had parted and she now lay awake staring up at the ceiling and playing with her little hands and pulling her feet to her chest.

"I'm gonna take a shower."

"Ok, I'll watch Red while you're gone."

"Thanks," she said from the closet door as she untied the strap around her neck but she was in the bathroom before it was completely undone.

From the bedroom Sandy could hear the shower running and he wanted more than anything to be with her but Scarlett would cry hysterically if they were together. But looking at his 6 month old daughter he knew that he could not be angry at her and when he looked at her he just loved her more and more because like everyone told him, she looked so like Kirsten with her blonde hair and sapphire blue eyes.

Leaning over the edge of the white bassinet Sandy saw Scarlett playing with her hands and bending her legs and kicking them out thrusting her knitted blanket along with it. On her pink and white blanket were dots of baby blue sprinkled everywhere but on it in the top right hand corner where her initials embroidered into the material. In fancy writing were S.J.C standing for Scarlett Joanna Cohen. Then all of a suddenly Scarlett, or Red as they call her, looked directly at her daddy with big inquisitive eyes.

"Hey baby girl," he cooed.

Scarlett merely smiled at him and reached out her arms. Sandy, knowing what that meant, bent down into the bassinet and picked her up into his arms and leaned her against his chest and let her look around as he kissed her silky short hair.

"You wanna go outside huh?" he asked

Still holding Scarlett to him he padded his way out the door to the backyard and looked out at the horizon that he envied every morning since they moved to Newport over ten years ago. It was here at this horizon that Sandy and Kirsten introduced baby Scarlett to their friends. But as Sandy was standing in the garden he looked at his daughter who was entranced by the view of the ocean and pointed to it while her other hand was up against her mouth as if she was going to chew on it.

"Yes honey that's the ocean, daddy surfs there every morning," he said matching her line of sight, "maybe one day I'll teach you to surf."

"Better her than me," Kirsten said coming out of the house in a robe.

"Hey," Sandy replied as his wife walked over to them and kissed Scarlett on the cheek.

"Hey sweetie," she spoke as she stroked her baby's head.

"You think she might like surfing?"

"Well, it might be third time lucky getting one child to like it but once she's old enough . . . and don't try to get her on a board the second she can walk . . . or stand just to be safe."

"I'm not that stupid," Sandy playfully retorted but Kirsten has to restrain herself from making a sarcastic reply even though she was so tempted to speak, seeing the look on Kirsten's voice Sandy laughed, "What? I'm not."

"Scarlett? Is daddy stupid?"

In reply to her mother's question Scarlett plastered her hand against Sandy's face and giggled.

"Ok I get the point," Sandy chuckled kissing Scarlett's tiny hand.

By this point it was close to half seven and the boys would be getting up at any minute so the three of them went back into the house and got dressed and came into the kitchen where Seth and Ryan were plonked on the stools at the kitchen island reading their respected sections of the newspaper.

"Morning boys," Kirsten greeted as she walked into the room with Scarlett in her arms and she single handily poured herself some orange juice and sliced a bagel. She was dressed in one of her favourite business suits whereas she had dressed Scarlett in a yellow and green t-shirt and baby jeans with little pink baby converse booties which Scarlett will manage to kick off when she wants to.

"Morning," they both replied before putting a spoonful of cereal in their mouths.

Then Sandy entered, "Morning fellas."

"Hey," was all he got as a reply.

Then Sandy kissed Kirsten on the head and did the same for Scarlett as he did every morning even though he had just seen them 2 minutes before hand. And like normal he sliced himself a bagel and smeared it with cream cheese and began to read the news section of the newspaper as Arts & Leisure and Sports were already taken.

"So Sandy, am I meeting you for lunch today?" Kirsten asked before taking a sip of orange juice.

Sandy nodded because he had a mouth full of cream cheese and bagel and once he had swallowed it he continued, "Yeh, how about half one?"

"Perfect . . . so guys is Marissa picking you up?"

"Yeh she is," Ryan answered looking up.

The family spent the rest of their time in the kitchen talking about one thing or the other until they all had to leave for work or school and Kirsten left Scarlett with the babysitter before she left for the Newport Group.

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Later that day as lunch approached Kirsten's eyes started to blur as she continued to stare at the computer screen and as she typed out the jargon she needed to explain her report to her father and then her stomach began to rumble. She had been looking forward to lunch with Sandy at his beach hut office since that morning.

She had always loved having lunch with her husband who was also her best friend because they could easily talk about anything and everything from recalling the moment they met at Berkeley and how precious their three children are to them and recently that was the hottest subject to talk about since the birth of Scarlett. But in recent months the lunch dates had been few and far between and they missed each other and neither of them realised it. Kirsten had buried herself in work so she wouldn't have to think about Sandy and how he made her go weak at the knees by a simple glance in her direction. Sandy on the other hand worked quickly on the cases he had and just hoped to see her when she got home at night but either she slipped in quietly while he was awake or he fell asleep and didn't see her. Either way, he missed deeply and they needed their lunch date to catch up after their near romantic morning.

Knowing all this Kirsten began to print off the finished document and as she waited, her gaze fell to the photographs that were scattered on her desk of her beloved family. The closest photograph was of a five-year-old Seth and Sandy. Seth and Sandy were in their backyard at Berkeley and her son was standing on the swing and Sandy was holding him steady. Then she saw a picture of Seth and Ryan at the Bait Shop on their anniversary earlier that year when Kirsten was seven months pregnant. After that her eyes settled on a picture her best friend Emily, or Emzzie as she called her, took of her and Sandy from when they were younger in Berkeley when they were dating. They were lazing on campus on a warm day and Sandy offered Kirsten a piggy-back so she jumped up and wrapped her legs around him and hung on tight. Then Emily held up a camera so Kirsten placed her head beside Sandy's and smiled because she loved him so much. Finally there was a recent photograph of Sandy, Seth and Ryan gathered around her as she held Scarlett from the introduced her to Newport.

So once her report was finished printing she gathered it all up and grabbed her purse after stapling the left corner of it and left her office leaving the report on Claire's desk.

"Oh hey Claire could you give this to my dad as soon as possible?"

"Yeh sure," Claire replied.

"Thanks, I'm going to lunch and I'll be back between half two and three ok."

Claire nodded and answered the ringing phone beside her.

Kirsten smiled back and then left the Newport Group offices and climbed into her Range Rover and drove off to Sandy's office near by.

As she drove she looked at the Newport scenery and everything held a hidden memory of when they brought a young Seth for walks or where they themselves went for long romantic walks together but then she began to slow down for a red light. While waiting for the light to change colour she began to tap her fingers on the steering wheel.

Once it changed she continued to drive on and a large black tinted van came up behind her and made contact with the rear bumper of her car causing her to pull over and get out to talk with the person in the next car and go through to whole rigmarole of swapping insurances and whatever else was needed.

"Oh my god I – am – so - sorry," a tall man exclaimed apologising as he came towards her.

"Oh don't worry about it, I'm sure it's nothing serious," Kirsten replied in her usual voice not giving the accident a second thought.

They both leaned forward and inspected the damage to both vehicles and it was minor, just a deep dent and paint scrapes exchanged but nothing that she couldn't afford.

"It's just that my friend and I were talking and I just didn't see you I'm sorry, are you ok?"

"Yeh I'm f-"

Before she could finish her sentence the man beside her firmly placed his hand over her mouth and roughly wrapped his other arm around her svelte waist and violently dragged her against her will to his car. Kirsten screamed loudly into his palm and fought as hard as she could to break free from his grip but even though she was stronger than she looked, her captor was too strong for her and her attempts to escape were feeble. Then the side door of his car slide open and Kirsten was thrown forcefully in. Landing on her wrist heavily she sat up and tried to get out but before she could, a hand fixed itself around her arm and a damp cloth was held over her nose and mouth. Kirsten tried to hold her breath but it was impossible so once she let her breath go she breathed in the fumes of the chloroform. The person holding her tightly was not about to let go of the cloth over her face until she was out cold and that is just what he did. Once the fumes had taken affect and she was unconscious, her captor let go of her arm but not after leaving bruises in the shape of his hand on her skin.

The assailant holding her, once he felt her go limp, just let her fall to the hard floor of the car and left her in the strange angle in which she lay. Then he climbed over her into the passenger seat of the car.

"Come on man go!" he ordered.

"Going!"

A scream of the tyres could be heard as they sped off down the road out of sight with their kidnapped princess, wife and mother of three unconscious in the back.

She was gone and no one knew about it.

Gone.

A one word syllable that will strike fear into the hearts of those who love her.

Missing.

A two syllable word which means 'you cannot find them'.

That's what she will be . . . missing.

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**Ok, what did you think? Was it worth the wait? Let me know what you think. I have other chapters lined up to be added and let me know if I should continue or stop. Thanks.**


	2. Where

**Ok, I'm very overwhelmed by the reviews for the first chapter and my girls on MSN are always asking when I'm gonna update so I think I'll just do that now. I hope you enjoy and I was apologising for having Kirsten abducted hehe.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any OC character.

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Across town in a blue and white surf shack, Sandy had law book after law textbook sprawled over and around his desk. On several of them he had pages marked and on others he had notes scrawled beside paragraphs while others simply held legal mumbo jumbo which was irrelevant and were just sitting there was posterity.

Sandy was however sitting at his desk with a chunky textbook plonked in front of him and he was leafing through the pages cross-referencing everything to a piece of paper with notes scribbled on it. Taking a breath he looked at his watch and saw that Kirsten would be arriving at his office at any minute to have lunch so he began to finish up his work and clear his desk a little bit to make his office look a bit more presentable.

But the minutes ticked by and there was no sign of Kirsten and Sandy began to wonder where she was but logic told him that it could simply be traffic that was keeping her. However that thought was pushed aside as he picked up his office phone and pressed the numbers for her cell phone.

It began to ring.

And ring.

And ring.

Then he heard her voice but it wasn't her saying 'hello' but merely her voice mail kicking in. It greeted him in her silky voice saying, "Hi, this is Kirsten, sorry I can't take your call right now so please leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you, thanks."

"Hey baby, it's me . . . just wondering where you are cuz you know me, I'm starving and thinking of crab cakes or something else delicious," he chuckled into the phone, "well call me back when you get this ok, love you."

To be honest, if this scene had have been part of a movie or a television show, his conversation with the phone would have been the perfect opportunity to add poignancy which is already there as the audience would already know that Kirsten is missing. So here, the director would have brought the camera through her range rover window and zoom in on her ringing cell phone. On the cell phone's screen would say 'Sandy (office) is calling' and then a voice over could be heard. Once that was over the screen would then show '1 missed call'. For some reason you can imagine that if you put your mind to it.

After hanging up, Sandy decided that he would take a break from work considering it was his lunch break but then again he was his own boss and he could decide when to take breaks. So he picked up his cell phone and walked outside into the California sunshine. He leaned up against the railings that ran along the decking around his office and watched as some surfers dominated the waves that crashed to shore and felt nostalgia as others failed to hold their balance. He once swore that he would get Kirsten onto the waves but the only waves that he ever managed to get her on were those of pleasure. But he will get her to surf one of these days, he could feel it.

Taking a leisurely stroll around the immediate area he thought about all the problems that he and Kirsten had been having of late and he immediately thought of how badly he had hurt her. He promised to never ever hurt her and he failed and as a result broke his promise and her heart. Their moment that morning was only the beginning of getting back to their 'Kandy' status that they were referred to as back in college by their friends after Emzzie started calling them that one day. Hopefully their lunch date today would be the second step.

Then after absorbing enough sun and stopping himself from getting depressed after mourning the pain he placed Kirsten in, Sandy returned to his office and began to lightly work hoping that Kirsten would be there soon.

The minutes continued to tick by and time was creeping on and his stomach made its hunger known by grumbling loudly so Sandy quickly called Kirsten to let her know that he had ordered in and again he left a message on her voice mail. Also on his message he said that he'll see her later and that he loves her.

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Sandy returned home that evening a little later than usually but he set his briefcase beside the door as always and he walked through to the family room where Seth and Ryan were sitting on the couch playing PS2 like they always do.

"Hey guys," Sandy greeted.

"Hey," they both replied in unison.

"Your mother home?"

"No I haven't seen her," Seth answered.

"Ok well I'm gonna see what she wants for dinner, you guys fancy Thai?"

"Sure, sounds good," Ryan commented standing up ending the game, "I'll get the menus."

"I'll get Red," Seth announced leaving the room and daring to enter his parents' bedroom to retrieve his sister.

While Ryan and Seth were away Sandy again called Kirsten and yet again he was sent to her voice mail so he left another message, "Hey honey, only me again, sorry to be bugging ya with all the calls today . . . but I haven't heard from ya since this morning so we're about to order dinner, thinking of Thai, you want anything? Well I'll get your usual for later ok, love you bye."

Hanging up, Sandy was about to place the handset back on its cradle when he thought about ringing her office because she had been working late there recently. Looking at the phone again, he dialled the Newport Group hoping he would be able to contact her and again he heard the same ringing.

Usually Kirsten's secretary would answer and if she didn't, Kirsten would answer it herself but this time neither of them did and the Newport Group's automated answering machine sounded telling Sandy that no one was in the building to answer to phone. A part of Sandy began to worry because she always answered her phone if she wasn't at work and she always returned missed calls because although she was a very busy and important woman within the ranks of the Newport Group, she wasn't rude and would return calls.

He thought that his fear that something was wrong was unjustified and so he simply placed the phone back on its cradle and turned to his sons and daughter as they entered the kitchen but it kept nagging in the back of his mind .

"I don't think Red would like Thai food," Seth commented.

"No she wouldn't," Sandy answered, "I'll prefer her formula for her; you guys order the food and get your mother's usual ok."

Sandy took Scarlett from Seth and took her to where they kept the formula for her to be bottle fed while Seth moved to read the menu for the Thai 'place' as they simply called it. Then the boys looked to Sandy as he began to coo over Scarlett.

"How's you today huh?" he asked touching her chin lightly with his index finger, "You been a good girl for the babysitter? Of course you were because you're a Cohen."

"That's right Scarlett so welcome to a life and insecurity and paralysing self doubt."

"Oh sure Seth, it's not enough that you brainwashed her to cry anytime I touch your mother but now you're terrorizing her," Sandy retorted playfully.

"You mean that actually worked? Sweet, I guess I can only brainwash blood siblings . . . sorry Ryan buddy," Seth replied sarcastically with a huge grin.

"Did Amy say how she was today?"

"Oh yeh, Amy said Red was just a perfect wee angel . . . but she cried quite badly around half one she said but she calmed down and we were playing with her earlier and she just looked at us like Kirsten woulda and she looks so like Kirsten in her looks, it seriously scared us," Ryan said.

"Yeh, I bet she'll be a little heartbreaker when she grows up," Seth added.

"Yeh and we will be there to protect our baby sis aren't we Seth, from all those who may fall for her."

"I wonder if Mr. Cooper said that when Marissa was born?" Seth asked out loud.

"Hey," Ryan laughed.

"Or uh grandpa when mom was born?"

"I'm sure Kirsten broke a lot of hearts."

"She broke Mr. Coopers'" Seth replied trying to make a list.

"Hey, come on you guys, that's your mom you're talking about . . . . well yeh she did but your mother is worth it and I'm lucky I even got her considering Caleb's warm reception to me into the family."

"That hasn't happened yet," Ryan added.

Sandy simply cocked his head and raised an eyebrow in the manner of saying 'Believe it' and he returned to make 'dinner' for his daughter.

"Ok tender moment over, let's get dinner," his son ordered.

As the night rolled in and the crickets started to sing, they found that they had styrofoam containers in the trash and clean dishes for the first time in the cupboards and a tidy kitchen and they themselves were plonked on the couch watching DVDs with a sleeping Scarlett on her father's stomach.

"So what are we watching here?" Sandy asked dumbfounded.

"X-2," Seth replied.

"Oh right, I actually never would've imagined Halle Berry as Storm but she pulls her great."

"Yeh but Famke Jansen's easier on the eyes," Seth added.

"Nah, I prefer Rebecca Romijn-Stamos," Ryan commented.

Then the three men moved back to watching the action from ogling at the attractive women in leather outfits and Sandy began to think that Kirsten would love to be there beside him so she could look at Hugh Jackman in the black leather but he doubted that even the attractive Australian would be enough to keep her from resting her eyes.

Sandy was beginning to get worried about Kirsten because he had not heard a word from her ever since he kissed her goodbye that morning. Also, if she was going to be late home or that she would miss dinner she would call home to ease his fears and tell him that she's fine and that she'd be home soon. But since the birth of Scarlett, Sandy had become very protective of her due to the complications that arose during the delivery. The whole family had come within a literal inch of losing her and Sandy began to jump at anything that may be a threat since then. Scarlett was now six months old and Kirsten had been back at work for two and Sandy couldn't help but look over the love of his life even though the entire Rebecca debacle happened in that time.

Then before he knew it the movie was over and they all stretched out slightly but Sandy had to be careful of his baby daughter laying fast asleep on him with her small hand clutching his sweater. Scarlett did the exact same thing when she was sleeping on Kirsten.

"What time is it?" Seth enquired.

"Uh half ten," Sandy answered trying to stifle a yawn as he looked at his watch.

"Mom's late tonight."

"Yeh but she's probably working late on the magazine."

"Kirsten is always working hard, Caleb should be proud of her," Ryan said with pride in his voice.

"Grandpa? My grandfather?"

"Caleb Nichol? I'm sure he is proud of her but the chances that he would say anything remotely close to that to Kirsten are slim, there's more chance that I would get run over by a cruise liner walking down the road outside tomorrow than Caleb complimenting Kirsten," Sandy retorted.

"Yeh that's right."

"Well I'm gonna go to the pool house, I told Marissa I'd call her and help her with her homework."

"Yeh I'm gonna head to, got some drawing to do, night Ryan, dad."

"Ok fellas, see you in the morning meanwhile I gotta get this little one to her bed or your mother will have my head."

"Night Scarlett," Ryan spoke softly before leaving the family room to go to the pool house.

"Yeh night Red," Seth whispered as his father walked past him with Scarlett's sleepy head resting against his shoulder.

Sandy walked across the house to the bedroom he shared with Kirsten and silently flicked on the lights. Then he walked over to the white bassinet that sat next to the window beside their table. With one hand he gentle pulled back the blanket and then Sandy tenderly and cautiously placed his daughter onto her back on the soft cushiony bed of her bassinet. Once he knew that Scarlett was still asleep he laid the knitted blanket that Kirsten made, when she was pregnant, over her. Wishing his child goodnight and sweet dreams he brushed his finger lightly over her cheek and pressed two fingers soothingly onto her forehead.

"Goodnight princess," he whispered.

After that, Sandy switched on the lamp beside his bed and killed the master lights to let Scarlett sleep peacefully. Sitting on the bed, he pulled out the novel he was reading and began to read the words on the page and stayed awake for when Kirsten came home.

Even though the night was still early, he guessed that Kirsten would be home soon and continued to read but as he did he found himself holding onto one of Scarlett's stuffed animals and he recognised it as 'Whit' and he was the bear she held onto when she was scared. And here was Sandy holding onto the teddy bear that his daughter cuddled. But this wasn't any old stuffed animal for he was the bear that Kirsten gave her and Whit was the animal she hugged when she was upset as a child. Sandy could still remember when he found her in her room at Caleb's house clutching at Whit with tears snaking down her cheeks. Scarlett on the other hand had rarely needed it except for when she was going to visit Julie or a Newpsie.

Sandy became quickly absorbed in his reading and time flew by and before he could see what time it was his eye lids became heavier and heavier and although he tried to fight the gravity that was sleep, his willpower to stay awake was not enough and he was consumed by sleep.

But his sleep was plagued by nightmares and scenarios of where and what Kirsten could be doing and he silently and unconsciously prayed that they would not come to fruition.

But one would.

Just one.

One dream, two people and no reason had taken Kirsten from her family.

But no one knew that.

Yet.

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**Ok, how was that? Hope you liked it and I glad everyone has responded so well to the first chapter. Please please tell me what you think. Love ya all.**


	3. Search for Kirsten

**Ok, nobody noticed something about Scarlett in the last chapter so I might as well press on. Enjoy. For my kiks Emz!**

**Disclaimer – Don't own any OC character as usual.

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Scarlett had slept through the night and the fingertips of dawn made their way into the room and bathed it in a golden warm glow. The gentle ebb woke Sandy and immediately he looked to his left and found the space empty and cold.

Kirsten wasn't there.

"Kirsten?" he called thinking and praying that she was in the closet or in the bathroom.

Then he dared.

"Kiki?"

Once he had dared to call her by that nickname and within seconds she appeared with a toothbrush stuck in her mouth and a stern look on her face. But he innocently smiled at her and let out a little chuckle at the sight of her with the toothbrush and he just couldn't help but not take her glare seriously.

But this time she didn't come and berate him and if she didn't respond to him calling her 'Kiki' then she never would.

Getting up off the bed he went over to the bassinet and found Scarlett awake and looking up at the ceiling with her fingers in her mouth while her other hand clutched Rexxie the dinosaur which was her one month birthday present from Seth. She was looking around and exploring every inch around her.

"Hey Red," he cooed.

Scarlett simply looked at him with her blue eyes and smiled back.

"You hungry?"

Knowing that an answer wouldn't come from his six-month-old child he gently picked her up and cradled her in his strong arms resting her against his chest. Sandy remembered all the times that he had held Seth as a baby and rejoiced in being able to hold his daughter because she was a miracle in her own right.

'_You won't be able to conceive another child'_

Those words rung in his head for years after she miscarried Seth's sibling at eighteen weeks. And while she was recovering Kirsten was told she would most likely no longer conceive another child.

And along came Scarlett when Kirsten thought life couldn't possibly get any worse after both her sons left home. One doing the honourable thing while the other simply ran away.

Sandy brought Scarlett to the kitchen and with one hand prepared the formula for her to take again considering her mother wasn't there to feed her. Yet once the formula was concocted, heated and tested he began feeding her all the while gently rocking her but as Scarlett drank Sandy couldn't help but wonder where on earth Kirsten was. If she had come home last night she would have undoubtedly placed him under the sheets but she would not have came in, slept, made her side of the bed and left without at least a note or a message saying where she was or will be.

Nursing Scarlett, he pushed aside his apprehension and focused on his daughter but in his mind a small yet slow tune started to play and it wasn't melodious or harmonious but eerie and sombre. Once she was fed and burped, they moved over and into the family room where he placed her gently into her play pen with all her cuddly animals. Then as soon as she was settled, Sandy picked up the phone in the kitchen and dialled the Newport Group again and walked back into the family room with the phone against his ear.

"Hello Newport Group, Kirsten Cohen's office, Claire speaking, how may I help you?" her assistant answered exactly as she was taught how to.

"Claire? It's Sandy," he spoke.

"Hi Sandy."

"Is Kirsten there?"

"Uh no she's not, sorry Sandy."

"When was the last time you saw her? Before you left last night?" he asked.

"No," she hesitated, "the last time I saw her was when she left to go for lunch yesterday."

"You sure?"

Now the worry is his voice was struggling to be kept under control and it was trying to make itself known but Sandy was trying to subdue it.

"Absolutely, she handed in a report to Mr. Nichol and said she was away to lunch. I was at my desk all day except for when I was handing over the report and I was only gone for like a minute."

"Well I called last night at about half seven – eight," Sandy continued.

"The offices were completely empty then. Nobody came or went."

Hearing all the words Claire spoke Sandy immediately began to fret. The last time she was seen was when she left to meet him yesterday afternoon so that meant that she hadn't returned to work and Sandy was surprised Caleb hadn't been calling to find out where his daughter was if she wasn't in her office.

"Oh ok, thanks Claire, well when she comes in have her give me a call ok."

"Sure."

"Bye."

And with that he hung up the phone and sighed heavily as Scarlett chewed on the ear of her Bugs Bunny. Then Sandy gave up and called her cell phone again but the second her heard her voice mail he hung up in exasperation.

"God Kirsten where are you?" he whispered out loud the rhetorical question but he wanted an answer desperately and he sincerely doubted that anyone would be able to give him one..

Not giving up, Sandy turned his attention back to the phone and called everyone and anyone he knew in Newport which included Julie, Taryn, Joy, Karen and he even tried Carter Buckley who she had just started working on Newport Living but they all said that they hadn't seen her that day or since she left to go to lunch. Sandy voided calling Caleb until he was sure that something was wrong but yet again Caleb would have his head for not informing him sooner and Sandy didn't want to worry him as he was fiercely and he meant very fiercely protective of his eldest daughter.

Unbeknownst to Sandy, Ryan had shuffled into the kitchen moments before and began making himself his usual combination of cereal, toast and orange juice. After pouring juice into a glass and popping bread into the toaster, Ryan then made his way over to Sandy with a cereal bowl in his hand.

"Morning," Ryan greeted before stifling a yawn.

"Oh hey, I didn't hear you come in."

As Sandy spoke Ryan made his way over to the play pen and began 'talking' to Scarlett through incoherent babbles and strange faces. Ryan couldn't help but notice that three members of the Cohen clan had names that began with 'S'. Until Ryan came, Kirsten was the odd one out because she was a woman, blonde, and Presbyterian and had a name beginning with 'K' and outnumbered. But then when Ryan came she was the odd one out for being a woman. And now with Scarlett, the numbers weren't so stacked against her – three guys and 2 girls.

"Kirsten leave early for work?"

"No actually, she didn't come home last night," Sandy found himself answering.

"What?" Ryan blurted swallowing a mouthful of his cereal, "she didn't come home?"

"I haven't seen her or seen any sign that she was here . . . apparently according to her secretary she didn't return to work yesterday and they haven't heard from or seen her either . . . . I'm really worried kid," Sandy confessed.

Ryan stood on the spot thinking and shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Do you think . . . but do you think she may have been taken to the hospital? I mean you know . . ." Ryan said indicating Scarlett, "something coulda come up since the complications . . . have you checked the hospital?"

"No I haven't but I pray to god that if she is there, she's alright," Sandy spoke quickly as he dialled the hospital.

"Hello, my name is Sandy Cohen and I was wondering if I could inquire about a patient you may possibly have?"

A pause.

"Her name is Kirsten Cohen. K-I-R-S-T-E-N C-O-H-E-N," he spelt out.

Pause.

"2 months ago for a check up."

Pause,

"You're sure? . . . . Ok , thank you."

Sandy bowed his head and Ryan could tell it wasn't the answer that neither of them wanted.

"They haven't had any patient called Kirsten Cohen in the last twenty-four hours."

"A dead end," Ryan whispered.

Sandy merely nodded.

"I'm really worried Ryan . . . I mean-"

"She would always let us know where she was," Ryan finished.

"Yeh and there are no messages and no one has seen her."

"That's not like her."

"No it isn't."

"Yeh I mean, Kirsten comes home early just to be with Scarlett and she knows that we've become protective of her since Lettie was born," Ryan stated using his unique nickname for his little sister.

"Yeh she does . . . look Ryan, uh I'm gonna go out and see if I can find her ok, you guys get ready for school," Sandy instructed standing up.

"Yeh sure, good luck."

"K, I'll call if I find her," he continued as he picked up his cell phone, "have a good day . . . bye Red, kiddo."

Picking up his keys from the table beside the front door, Sandy left the mansion and got into his BMW just like he would for work but today was different from any other day. Driving off he kept his cell phone close by just in case she rang.

Sandy was amazed at how much he confessed to Ryan. He knew how mature the boy was for his mere teenage years and that he wouldn't 'freak out' as easily as Seth but Sandy was getting really concerned. While driving and look alternately from the road to the sidewalks Sandy formulated a plan of action which was that if he had not heard from his wife by that night he would call the police and report her as missing. Being the overprotective husband Sandy began to think that he would be overreacting if he did that but the side that was in control was working overtime worrying about her safety.

For hours and hours Sandy drove around Newport repeatedly, searching anywhere and everywhere and leaving no alley or area unsearched. Every nook and cranny was investigated. He checked the house she grew up in and her mound near the cliffs where he once found her when Seth ran away. One day she had been overly upset about his departure, she went to her spot and looked at the waves in the horizon with her legs hugged against her. Sandy found her there because she had called him and told him where she was. When he had arrived and calmed her sobs she told him that she was pregnant with Scarlett

Now here he was again climbing up the steep bank and searched around but only saw green grass, daisies and the ocean view. He was hoping that she had been upset by something and sought solitude and serenity here and had accidentally fallen asleep as the views and the sounds made here were soft and would send anyone to sleep. But he had no such luck.

Sandy had now been searching for eight hours so he headed home just in case she returned but Scarlett was being looked after by Emma the babysitter who reported that Kirsten hadn't come home or contacted them so Sandy excused himself and headed to his office on the other side of town just in case she had rested in there.

Yet again, another dead end.

By this point he had become desperate and would search in the clothes hamper for her or in the Cooper's old house next to their house.

His thoughts were interrupted by his cell phone ringing and the screen displayed 'Ryan is calling'.

"Hey Ryan."

"Hey, have you heard anything?"

Sandy paused and hesitated as he was afraid that his answer would be the one that he would be hearing for a while to come so he answered, "No I haven't."

"Oh ok . . . I could uh enlist Marissa and Summer to help look if you want."

"Thanks, I've checked everywhere I can think of . . . maybe some new heads can help and five people looking can be better than one. Oh by the way, could you ask Emma to stay late?"

"Uh about that . . . she's already left so maybe we can take Scarlett with us?" Ryan answered.

"I don't think that would be a good idea . . . but I don't feel comfortable leaving Scarlett with Julie or Caleb . . . just be careful with her ok? Buckle her in securely if you take the girls car, take the spare chair from the garage."

"Always, but Seth and I are gonna walk around while the girls drive around, call if there's anything."

"Same to you and get Scarlett to bed on time ok."

"Yeh of course, bye."

"Bye."

Now with reinforcements to help in the search Sandy retraced his steps yet again and he was so close to biting his nails but he was champing at the bit as the saying goes. Worry, fright and pain all played with him.

Elsewhere in Newport, Marissa and Summer were checking all the stores in the mall while continually and repeatedly ringing her cell phone and every time they got her voice mail. Giving up on the phone linking, they continued to search the sidewalks for a blonde haired woman who resembled Mrs. Cohen.

"Coop, I'm getting scared. I mean if Mr. C can't find her what luck do we have?" Summer said as they stepped out of Marissa's car for the umpteenth time.

"I know Summer, I hope she's ok wherever she is but we gotta think . . . Ryan said Sandy already tried the hospital and the Newport Group is on alert to call him if she shows up."

"I wish I knew her better."

Marissa simply sighed at the comment as they searched the library for whatever reason they thought she might be there.

Again there was no sign of her and the people around claimed to not have seen a woman of Kirsten's description.

"Whoever said this place was a small town was mistaken!" Marissa moaned as she opened her car door and sat down into the vehicle.

"Yeh."

They drove again for another five minutes but as they turned right something caught Summer's eye.

"Coop stop!"

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**Ok, that's the new chapter. I just leaving you all in suspense don't I? haha. Well I hope this was ok, and next time I'll have something for you. Please review or comment and take care.**


	4. Bittersweet findings

**Ok, here is the new chapter. Enjoy**

**Disclaimer – no tengo nada! I don't own anything to do with The O.C except Scarlett and Detective Mitchell.

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"Coop stop!"

"What?" Marissa asked urgently as she pulled over while Summer looked over her shoulder across the road, "Sum, what is it?"

Without answering the question, Summer undid her seatbelt and got out of the car immediately followed by a very confused Marissa. Summer crossed the road and Marissa did the same while looking around.

"Summer?"

"Coop look!" Summer exclaimed pointing at a black car parked merely metres away.

"Oh my god," she breathed.

"Yeh," Summer began, "it's her car."

Cautiously, the two girls made their way towards the car and once there they peered into the empty windows of the abandoned car. They scanned the seats and saw her purse on the floor and the keys in the arm rest of the driver's door.

"Coop?" she asked afraid.

"I know Summer . . . let's check in these stores to see if they know anything."

Together, they walked into a nearby store and approached a lanky boy by the cashier.

"Hi, um I was wondering if you have seen a blonde woman today or yesterday nearby," Summer began but when the blank expression on his face spoke thousands of words she pressed on, "Um, about this height, long-ish blonde hair, um, blue eyes . . . thin, beautiful."

But Summer couldn't think of anything else to say about Kirsten and was at a loss for words until Marissa continued, "Uh that's her car outside, did you happen to see her?"

"I didn't see anything yesterday sorry cuz I was busy with customers but that car has been here since yesterday," he answered.

"So you haven't seen anything?"

"No sorry."

Marissa was looking through the image library of her phone until she found a photograph of Kirsten. Once she found it she showed it to the boy, "Here, she looks like this, the blonde one," she indicated. The photograph showed Kirsten with her arms around Sandy and Ryan while Seth stood because his father.

"Have you seen her?"

Squinting his eyes and analysing the small image, the young boy tried to find her in his memory but he just couldn't and had to repeat, "No sorry."

Both girls looked at each other disappointed.

"Thanks anyway," Marissa replied closing her phone.

For the next half hour Summer and Marissa walked into each store in view of the range rover and asked whether or not the employees had spotted Kirsten and they showed the image of Kirsten but every time they received the same answer of '_No sorry_' and every time they gave the same response '_Ok, thanks anyway_'.

Coming back to the car and back to square one, Summer thought that Kirsten would not be so irresponsible to leave the keys to her car in view of the public but instead of continuing her train of thought, she took out her cell phone and began to call Sandy.

"Hey Summer," he answered almost immediately.

"Hey Mr. Cohen . . . we have good news and bad news."

"Ok . . . what's the good news?"

"We found her car," she said.

"And the bad?" he asked.

"No sign of Kirsten and no one around has seen her either and whoa-" Summer stopped as she strolled around to the back of the car.

"What?" Sandy asked urgently into the phone, "Summer?"

She crouched down and looked intently at the rear bumper of the black range rover.

"Summer!" he repeated snapping her out of her reverie.

"Erm uh . . ." she began.

"What? Summer you're scaring me."

"There's a uh – a dent in the bumper of her car . . . was there one there earlier, I mean when she left for work yesterday?"

"No . . . no there wasn't . . . Summer, where are you?"

"Lake shore road."

"Ok you guys, stay there, I'm on my way. I'll be there in five minutes.

"Ok."

"Bye."

"Bye . . . Sandy's coming."

Both girls sat on the pavement beside the range rover and contemplated what could have happened to Kirsten. They ran scenario after scenario and prayed that neither came true meanwhile across town Sandy was turning his BMW around and heading for them.

Gripping the wheel of his car, he drove towards Lake Shore road and was glad that rush hour traffic had dissipated but then his cell phone began to ring.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Sanford."

"Caleb . . . look now isn't a good time."

"I don't care . . . I wanna know where the hell Kiki is. She didn't return to work yesterday and she didn't come in today . . . is she ill?" her father exclaimed.

"No she isn't sick," Sandy replied sadly.

"Then explain to me why she wasn't at work, is it Seth?"

"Seth's fine Cal but," he paused.

Sandy wasn't quite sure how he was going to word his next statement so instead of running the words over in his head, he bit his lip and told his father-in-law what apparently was happening.

"Look Cal, this may be a shock, but I don't know where she is . . . no one does . . . she's missing."

She's missing.

She.

Is.

Missing.

Sandy prayed that he would not have to say that or even believe that but he had to say it.

"Excuse me?"

"She's missing . . . we don't know where she is," Sandy repeated.

"Well you better find her!" Caleb barked before slamming his phone down on its cradle.

"Dammit," Sandy sighed as he hung up his end and placed his cell phone to his left.

Within another minute, he pulled up a tiny distance behind Kirsten's range rover.

Sandy, literally, ran to the ten feet between the cars to the girls.

"Thanks for calling me Summer."

The small brunette teenager simply nodded.

"You haven't seen her?"

"No," they both sighed.

"Ok."

His eyes scanned the dent in the bumper and roamed up the left side of the car and he peered into the windows and saw the same scene that the girls had investigated beforehand. Hanging his head and looking around him suppressing his anger, he noticed something sparkle at the base of the curb behind the vehicle.

"What's that?" he whispered moving towards the glint.

"What's what?" Marissa asked following his line of sight.

Quietly, Sandy crouched down and looked at the platinum bracelet that lay broken on the tarmac. Gently, he took the piece of jewellery in his fingers and rolled it onto his palm where he could see the inscription on the back of the strip. It read '_Love you forever Sandy xx_' whereas on the reverse side a butterfly was engraved on either side of '_Kirsten_' in fancy writing.

Then suddenly the memory of himself presenting her with the bracelet assaulted him.

_It was her birthday last year and her first birthday with Ryan in the family and he had taken her out to the backyard by the pool while the other guests floated around the house. He wrapped his arms around her in a loving embrace and kissed her longingly and tenderly under the moonlight. _

"_I have one last gift to give you," he whispered in her ear._

"_Oh really?" she smiled._

"_Not that . . . that's for later . . . but this is for now," Sandy replied lovingly as he brought out a long dark green velvet box._

"_What is it?" Kirsten asked not taking her arms away from him._

"_Well it is your birthday so you're gonna have to open it."_

"_You do it."_

_Without having to be told twice Sandy opened the casing to reveal a beautiful platinum bracelet with 'Kirsten' engraved on it in between two butterflies. Kirsten's face melted instantly at the sight of the simple yet elegant bracelet._

"_Oh Sandy," she whispered._

_Smiling, he removed the item of jewellery from the casing and took his wife's slender arm in his hand and wrapped it around her wrist. Once he was satisfied it was secure, he lifted the hand to his mouth and he lightly kissed the back of her hand._

"_I love it, thank you."_

"_Read the back of it."_

_Turning the bracelet over Kirsten read aloud the words on the back, "Love you forever Sandy kiss kiss," and then she smiled and kissed him gently twice, "I'll love you for much longer than that."_

"_Oh are you?"_

"_Yeh, I am," she cooed._

"_Well we can't have that then."_

_And they kissed again for longer._

"It's Kirsten's," he announced after his memory ended.

Both girls were rendered speechless.

Sandy stood up and pointed to the broken links in the chain of the bracelet.

"You see the links here?"

They nodded.

"These were forcibly broken."

"How can you tell?" Marissa enquired.

"I've seen these come through my office in too many cases."

"You're not thinking . . ." Summer began.

"I sincerely pray to god I'm not but I can't wait till tonight because god knows what could happen to her by then - I'm calling the police," Sandy said frantically taking out his cell phone and dialling the three numbers that he wished that he could not have to dial.

"Emergency services, how may I help?" a neutral voice answered.

"Could you patch me through to 'Missing persons' please?"

'Missing' Summer mouthed.

"Missing persons, Detective Mitchell speaking."

"Yes hello, I'd like to report a missing person."

"How long has this person been missing?"

"Erm . . . thirty hours give or take," Sandy answered,

"Ok, I'm gonna need a name, a description and anything else relevant."

"Her name is Kirsten Cohen, thirty-nine years old, blonde hair – longer than shoulder length and layered uh blue eyes, five-six, thin . . . she was wearing a black skirt suit – knee length, a red t-shirt and black blazer jacket . . . we've searched all over Newport and we've found her car on Lake Shore road and there's no sign of her," Sandy rattled off.

"And when was the last time you saw her?"

"Yesterday morning at half past eight and the last time anyone saw her was at about twenty past one in the afternoon that day."

"Ok, I'm on my way to where you are to investigate, please remain there," the detective ordered.

"Of course thank you," Sandy ended hanging up, "They're on their way so we wait."

"What about Seth and Ryan, will we tell them about . . . reporting her?"

"They may think I'm overreacting . . . am I?"

"Well we have found her car which is damaged and a broken bracelet with her name on it," Marissa argued quietly.

They remained in silence waiting for the detective to arrive.

* * *

Hours later, the Cohen family, Summer and Marissa were sitting on the couch in the family room trying to watch television but all their minds were pre-occupied with thoughts of Kirsten. Scarlett, on the other hand, was tucked into her bed with the baby monitor on the coffee table as she was too young to understand what was going on. However Ryan did say that he thought she was aware of something not being right as she refused to go to sleep for a while.

On the large plasma screen mounted on the wall '101 Dalmatians' was playing. It was one of Kirsten's favourite movies and they thought it would be good to watch it but Joely Richardson and Glenn Close weren't taking their minds over the fact that their wife, mom or boyfriend's mom was out there somewhere scared, hurt or worse dead.

"This is ridiculous," Seth moaned, "how long does it take to investigate a car?"

"Seth," Summer reprimanded sadly.

"Sorry but I wanna know where my mom is!"

"Seth, son, the detective said he'd call if they found anything . . . I mean they have to ask around."

"Yeh but Summer and Marissa took care of that bit!" his son remarked.

"Look, I am so worried about your mother that I can't think and even talking right now is difficult . . . so just trust in the detectives doing their job."

Seth hesitated.

"Ok dad."

Summer had refused to go back to her house until she knew something about Kirsten and where she was. She had asked Sandy if she could stay at their house because she knew she'd be beside herself sitting by the phone every second of every minute until she heard something. Sandy agreed as long as she told her parents and Marissa did the same thing wanting to be there for Ryan.

Just as Seth was about to get antsy again the door bell rang and all five heads simultaneously looked down the hall.

"I'll get it," Sandy announced standing up leaving Seth and Ryan on the couch, Summer on the chair and Marissa on its arm.

Opening the door, Sandy was greeted by Detective Mitchell.

"Sandy Cohen? We met earlier, Detective Mitchell," he greeted.

"Yes yes, hi, please come in," Sandy replied ushering him in, "have you found out anything?"

"Yes we have and I have detectives searching in neighbouring towns for your wife."

"Why there?"

"This," he answered holding up a video tape.

"I don't understand."

"This will reveal everything."

Sandy didn't say anything but merely indicated the family room and they both walked there. Once there, Seth immediately jumped up asking, "Have you found her, have you found anything, what's going on?"

"Seth, calm down ok, Detective Mitchell has news and said this tape will reveal everything."

Calmly Seth sat down again beside Ryan, "Well . . . play the tape."

"Ok but before I play this I must warn you that this may disturb you or be something you do not want to see so you have been warned, so here it goes," he warned as he placed the tape into the VCR and from the couch Sandy turned the TV on and pressed play.

Detective Mitchell stepped back and allowed the family to watch the CCTV footage acquired from the shop beside her parked car.

The black and white video showed her car being hit by a van type vehicle and both cars pulling over.

It recorded Kirsten getting out and inspecting the damage along with the driver of the car behind her.

Then something they were all stunned to see was shown.

The man grabbed her and dragged her back a few feet to his car and roughly threw her into the back of the car all the while she relentlessly struggled against him

'_Her struggling broke the bracelet'_ Sandy, Summer and Marissa thought..

They watched helplessly as she struggled to sit up but just as she was about to move to escape they saw a cloth being placed over her nose and mouth and witnessed as she struggled to break free and her body going limp.

Finally the door to the back of the car was closed and it drove off.

"Oh my god," Summer whispered as she turned and rested her forehead on Marissa.

They were all speechless and wide-eyed.

She had been abducted.

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**Okey doke, there you go and please review because I'm thinking, maybe if you want, to do the next chapter on Kirsten, just maybe or continue the investigationso review or comment and tell me what you wanna see. Rock on!**


	5. She's Going, Going, Going

**Thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed the last chapter and how wanted to see Kirsten in the next chapter. So here she is. We are with Kirsten. It's a little dark but not graphic, so tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer – Don't own Kirsten but I own Bill and Gary.**

**Enjoy!

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For some reason, Kirsten couldn't remember falling asleep and so she fluttered her eyelids open to reveal a dark room. She didn't know whether or not she was seeing through her own eyes or simply looking at a dream but her irises focused and adjusted to the dim lighting of the place she was in.

There was no sound as to indicate where she was and the window was darkened to only allow slivers of light to filter through. Using that allotment of light, she could see a small bed in the opposite corner and it was the soul piece of furniture there. She however was lying up against a slightly damp wall.

Kirsten tried to move but even with the slightest movement, her spine coursed pain throughout her body and the veins in her head throbbed. Naturally, she brought her hands to her temple but just as she was about to press her fingers to her skin, she realised that her wrists were bound together. She lay back down and tried to see if she could use her own momentum to swing her legs around. But they too were tied.

So she wiggled and shifted her body, alternating between her legs and body until her back was against the wall. Once there, she looked around her again and saw a thin band of light coming from the base of what she assumed to be the door. But before she could move towards it, she heard heavy pounding footsteps coming towards her.

Suddenly the thin trail of light was gone.

The door burst open loudly.

She squinted at the bright light that flooded into the space and instinctively brought her hands up to cover her eyes and curled her legs protectively closer to her body.

"Well, well, well, blondie's awake," a voice with a sinister tone spat as his heavy shoes stepped towards her slowly, "it's about time."

Kirsten tried to move away but the wall behind her prevented her from doing so. Then the person that had entered the room crouched down in front of her and used his ominous presence to block out the light. However, Kirsten still held her hands by her face.

"Does blondie have a name?" he growled forcefully pulling her hands down, "and don't think of giving a fake name girlie, cuz we would hate to give your dead lifeless body to the wrong family now would we? No."

Kirsten had thought about giving a false identity as she had previously in her past. But this time, she wanted to give a fake name to hide the status that 'Kirsten Cohen' brought as princess of Orange County society. If she gave Nichol-Cohen she would be dead in a heartbeat for if they found that out, they would hold her hostage for a practically unlimited amount of money.

"So blondie, what's the name?" he barked grabbing her face between his strong fingers and pulling her closer towards him, "name!"

She gasped slightly in fright.

"Aww did I frighten you, did I frighten you?" he asked sarcastically before pressing his lips heavily and brutally onto hers.

Kirsten knew that fighting him would be a futile cause as her hands and ankles were bound together.

"Come on cutie, what's your name?"

"K-k-Kirsten," she stuttered with her eyes shut in fright.

"Kirsten? . . . beautiful name and is there a surname that goes with that?" he enquired as his fingers explored her neck.

"C-Cohen," she replied gulping down bile.

"Kirsten Cohen? That has a nice ring to it. Kirsten Cohen."

Then he began to recite her name over and over again quickly as if trying to make it into a tongue twister but the best he got was 'kirsin owen'. Kirsten has always been and is proud of her surname. It is the last name of the love of her life, the surname of her two children with her husband and the surname one day she wished Ryan would adopt as his own. She always said her name with pride.

The man before her ran his fingers over her face, through her hair and down her neck. One hand made its way up her leg and to her breast which he roughly moulded in his hand. She squirmed under his touch recoiling at the fact that it wasn't Sandy's loving touch.

"What do you want with me?" she cried squeezing her eyes shut even tighter.

"Well sweetness, me and my boy out there . . . we're very lonely men."

"What? Get off," she screamed as his hand made its way up the inside of her skirt.

"You were simply at the wrong place at the wrong time gorgeous . . . we didn't think we'd get this blonde haired, blue eyed babe, we just wanted a toy and I bet you have a cunt to die for."

Kirsten's eyes shot so far open that they began to hurt.

"Don't worry we won't hurt you . . . much," he spoke before giving a low sinister laugh.

Slowly he undid her bindings, "I don't know why he tied your legs, and it's hard to get room when they're like that."

But the second her bindings were rid off, she kicked him squarely between the legs connecting with his manhood causing him to stumble backwards to the floor in pain. As he crumbled to the floor, Kirsten stood up and tried to ignore the nausea that swept over her. But the moment that was clear, she made her way to the open door in an attempt to escape.

However, before she could set two feet out the door, a hand from behind her twisted itself into her hair and forcefully jerked her back. She lost her balance and fell to the floor with a thud.

"You little bitch," he spat darkly.

His associate came out of the room hunched over.

"What'd she do?"

"The bitch kicked me in the nuts.

"Did she now? Well, we can't have that, that just ain't cricket blondie – what's her name? Did you find out?"

"Kirsten."

"Ah nice name."

"Yeh."

"We oughta teach her a lesson, don't you think?"

"Of course, we can't have her doing that anymore."

"No we can't."

The second man lifted her up to standing and struck her cheek with the back of his hand leaving an imprint of the ring her was wearing. Her hand instantly flew to her cheek to shield the stinging flesh from the air.

Then the same man wrapped his fingers into her hair again and pulled her backwards sharply and used her momentum to throw her body against the wall. Her spine connected painfully with the wallpapered brick wall and the back of her skull ricocheted off the bricks too before she crumbled to the floor in a heap where she clutched her back.

Neither of these men had any honour to speak of and the rules of a gentleman and a man did not apply to them or had little meaning. They would punish a woman until she was black and blue even if she was pregnant or a mother to three children.

The man with the heavy boots drove one deeply into her stomach. Kirsten cried out instantly in pain as she scrunching herself into a ball holding her stomach and trying to hold back her tears.

Since the birth of Scarlett, Kirsten had become physically weak and the complications that had arose during the delivery caused her a quite deal fragility in her mid-section and because of that she was still recovering six months later. For all she knew, that thud to her gut had caused internal bleeding. But if it had, she would find out sooner or later.

Then he drove his boot into her stomach again but his boot had to kick her wrist in the process.

She recoiled again and grasped at her stomach and wrist.

"W-w-what – do . . . you want?" she breathed in pain.

"Don't stutter when you speak!" the other spat as he pulled at her jaw and punched her remorselessly.

"Well I told you Kirsten, you were in the wrong place at the wrong time and now you're ours."

"Gary, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" the man with the heavy boots asked.

"Yeh Bill, I'm thinking," he smiled looking down to her.

Her eyes flew open in fright as Bill pulled her up to her feet. Her body was still sore from the kicks but he held her and ran his tongue along her neck as his hands started to push her skirt up.

Sensing what he was about to so, Kirsten tried to push and fight him off but Gary took her arms in his strong hands to stop her resistance.

"Ah, ah, ah," Gary cooed coldly.

Bill then began to pull her back towards the darkened room much to Kirsten's struggle. But both of her captors worked in unison to manoeuvre her into the room. She screamed loudly and with fright hoping for some soul to hear her and to come barging through the door to save her. Quickly, Bill silenced her by welding his lips ruthlessly to hers.

Then Bill threw her on the thin mattress of her bed.

"Do what you wanna do but keep it down, I'm gonna watch TV," Gary smiled as he closed the door leaving Kirsten in the dark with Bill.

* * *

Kirsten lay broken on the skinny mattress with her legs hugged up as close to her as humanly possible. Bill was standing over her pulling his pants back on as her naked form lay bruised and scratched.

Kirsten was sure she was bleeding from somewhere due to the bites, jerks, digging, hard and harsh movements.

All she could think about was how badly she wanted and needed to be in Sandy's embrace.

'_God Sandy_,' she thought.

She wondered if her family were looking for her. Kirsten knew that Sandy would worry if she didn't arrive for lunch and then he would begin to get worried if she wasn't home before midnight without calling him. But she wasn't in Sandy's arms. She was here and she was praying for Sandy to hear her thoughts and come charging with a cavalry in tow and to carry her in his strong arms to safety.

Kirsten had never been into organised religion but she prayed to whatever deity that would listen to deliver her from evil and send her to Sandy and her beloved children.

She prayed.

"Boy I knew you would be like that, whoa, just wait till Gary gets his turn bitch . . . we won't be letting you go."

Tears fell from her eyes silently. Kirsten didn't bother to wipe them away because she felt like she didn't have the energy and she felt too degraded.

Foul.

Unworthy.

Despicable.

Filthy.

Bill gathered up her discarded and torn clothes and tossed her underwear back. Then he walked back over to her and noticed that she was holding her left hand.

"Did I hurt your wrist cutie?"

Kirsten's tears continued to descend.

Then in the dim light, something sparkled between her slender fingers.

Suddenly he snatched up her left hand and stared intently at her wedding finger.

"You married?"

"Yeh," she answered timidly remembering what would happen if she stuttered.

"Oooo plat-in-num."

Kirsten tried to pull her hand back but he gripped harder at her finger.

"You won't need these anymore darling," he began as he started to pull at then, "I wonder how much these will fetch at the pawn shop? A couple of grand maybe."

"No!" Kirsten begged trying in vain to stop him but he simply struck her on the cheek.

"No!" Bill mocked as he finally pulled them off, "Who would you want them? I mean, I just fucked you, oh did I say that? I'm sorry, but the main thing is, your hubby won't touch or even look at you in the same way again . . . I'm doing you a favour and besides, you won't be going back to Newport for a while love."

Taking her rings and clothes he left the room and locked the door. Although she was physically naked, she was also mentally and emotionally naked. Her rings meant the world to her and she treasured them everyday. She turned to them for strength. Whenever she was upset, unhappy, scared, lost, confused or in pain, she would always hold her rings as if to draw strength directly from Sandy. But she didn't have her platinum treasures. But her hand moved to her wrist.

Her bracelet wasn't there. The bracelet that Sandy had given her on her birthday was so longer around her wrist so she couldn't see Sandy's name of feel the love that was engraved in the platinum piece of jewelery. Kirsten instantly felt alone.

She didn't have Sandy's fingerprints on her. She had some strangers. She wasn't Sandy's anymore.

Alone in the room, she tried to picture Sandy but in her mind he turned away with a look of pure disgust.

Kirsten had just been brutally raped and he turned away?

'_That's not Sandy, that's not Sandy, he loves me, I want Sandy_' she repeated to herself softly.

She moved herself under the thin sheets to give her body some warmth and to hide herself from the oxygen in the room as she felt it was mocking her too and judging her.

It wasn't her bed. It didn't have seven thousand thread counts. It didn't have Sandy waiting beside her to snuggle up to and to lightly kiss her hair and to wrap his arm around her waist.

It wasn't her house with her sons and daughter.

Her mind's eye conjured up the memory of when she was resting on the couch in the family room during the early stage of her recovery and she saw Seth and Ryan playing with Scarlett. Ryan was sitting on the floor, holding Scarlett gently as only a big brother would while Seth was giving an enthusiastic introduction to the world of comic books.

'Baby's First Comic Book' he had called it as he flipped through the colourful pages.

At the thought of the memory, Kirsten couldn't help but think that she would never see her children and husband again. As a result she sobbed harder, using the pillow to muffle her heartache as she curled up into a tighter ball.

She prayed that someone would find her before Gary and Bill killed her piece by piece until she was gone.

Little did Kirsten know that she was missing too.

Her mind was gone.

Kirsten Cohen was missing.

She was gone and missing.

* * *

**That's the new one. Are you stunned? Are you angry? Was it worth the wait? How are you feeling? Tell me so I can maybe incorporate it into the story. Until next time, rock on!**


	6. Time Will Tell

**Here is the newest chapter and I'm glad that you liked the last one as I was trying to show the world Kirsten has just found herself in. I know it was traumatic for and you but I hope you enjoy this new chapter just as much.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own anything OC related except for Officer Mitchell and the police.

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"Kirsten!" Sandy called as he reached out into an empty space suddenly.

He shot his eyes open and saw the residual outline of his wife before his eyes.

"Kirsten?"

Sandy kicked back the quilt and as he approached what he saw he prayed that she wouldn't disappear forever. He knew that Kirsten and he shared a special bond ever since they got together but throughout the week his dreams have been plagued by Kirsten's voice. He simply thought he was going crazy with grief as he missed her more with every passing minute. His arms ached to have her tiny body in his arms, his lips missed hers and his eyes were blind without her.

She was resting up against his dresser with one arm on it as the other curved behind her back and Sandy reached out his hand to the image of his wife. Kirsten moved her head at him just like she always did and looked at him as his fingers travelled to her jaw. But when his fingers got close, she disappeared. He jerked forward to re-capture her essence but she was gone.

"Kirsten!"

Sandy looked around the spot behind her but saw no trace of her.

"Don't leave, tell me where you are," Sandy begged in a small voice.

But Kirsten didn't answer his plea.

His wife had been missing for a little over a week and they had very little to work with in terms of an investigation. The family was becoming restless and desperate for any information.

Sandy walked over to the crib of his daughter and looked down at her. Her tiny body lay twisted in her cot fast asleep and Sandy prayed that Scarlett would not have to pick up on the tense scared vibe of the household but most of all he wished that Scarlett would not have to grow up without her beloved mother. Seth and Ryan had become very paranoid and the simplest noise made them jump for the door hoping that it was Kirsten returning.

That was never the case.

However, they all made an agreement that if the worst should come to pass, they would all take care of each other and especially Scarlett because they just had to teach the little girl about the wonderful mother she never got to know and teach her how caring, dedicated, compassionate and loving her mother was.

Yet, looking down at his child, he thought that he wouldn't be able to raise a baby girl without a woman.

Without Kirsten.

He recalled the lead they got last week.

_The entire family was gathered in the family room looking intently at the phone waiting for news as every police officer, detective and volunteer was out probing Newport and further a field for any trace, sighting or indication of Kirsten. _

_The Cohen residence however which before her disappearance was full of life and laughter was simply dead. The only sound there was the doorbell which rang at that moment._

_Seth immediately jumped up and practically sprinted to the door._

"_Hello Seth," Detective Mitchell greeted._

"_Do you have anything?" Seth blurted right away._

"_Yeh but I think it would be best if I told everyone."_

"_Of course, come in."_

_Seth guided Detective Mitchell to the all too familiar family room._

"_Uh dad, Detective Mitchell is here."_

_Every head in the room looked up at him with a dull ebb of hope burning in their eyes._

"_What's the news?" Sandy croaked._

"_Well . . . um from the CCTV footage we were able to extrapolate a license plate number of the van that took Kirsten."_

"_That's good right?" Seth interrupted._

"_Well, yeh we've got detectives trying to trace the license plate number through DMV's and other databases so we should wait and see what that turns up but we still have detectives everywhere keeping an eye out for someone matching Kirsten's description," Mitchell reported._

"_Do you think we can find her?" Julie enquired._

_Detective Mitchell took a breath before answering, "I'm not gonna lie but these people, whoever they are have had a four day head start and they can be anywhere by now – half across the country or anywhere – but we're not giving up hope because the most likely situation is that these captors are rookies and will wait until the heat dies down from the investigation to move her. We're not giving up so you shouldn't either."_

"_Yeh, cuz think about, mom's 'The Kirsten', she's stronger than the Nana and that's saying a lot so she's ok, she just has to be, WASPs are unbeatable," Seth babbled._

"_Seth" Summer whispered as she shuffled her way to Seth and stroked his arm comfortingly._

_Just then, Caleb's cell phone rang._

"_Excuse me," Kirsten's father said as he walked out the room to the backyard._

"_Hello?"_

"_Mr Nichol, its Mc Cluskey here."_

"_Oh yes," he replied looking back at the kitchen door, "do you have anything?"_

"_We've looked everywhere, high and low, around and diagonal but we haven't turned up anything that the police don't already know."_

"_Expand the search then!"_

"_How?"_

"_Search all of California, go to Arizona, ask around, I don't care what you have to do. This is my daughter you're looking for and money is no object, just find her!" he barked into the phone._

"_Ok, we'll move to beyond Frisco."_

"_Fine, contact me when you know something," he finished hanging up._

_Caleb Nichol was like someone who had just been left alone in the world. His daughter was missing and for once he couldn't use his almighty persona to intimidate whoever took her into giving Kirsten back to her family. The part that was in control of Caleb was the one that wanted to be kept busy and not to dwell on the bigger picture. Whereas the other side of him was standing in the middle of a blank room waiting for his daughter to come bursting through the door and hug him. He was simply a father who was cast adrift._

_Replacing his cell phone in his jacket, Caleb returned to the family room where they were all deep in discussion about what to do next._

"_Can any of you think of any place where we can have people looking out for Kirsten, friends in other states, family members?" the detective asked._

"_Well, we have friends in Berkeley . . . my family are in New York," Sandy answered looking at his hands._

"_Lindsay is in Chicago," Ryan added._

"_Aunt Hailey is in Japan although I don't know what good she can do from there."_

"_Well, we'll get into contact with those people and we'll keep Hailey in reserve so to speak but however I do have another question which is very important . . . can you think of anybody that would want to kidnap Kirsten or harm her?"_

_One by one they all shook their heads. They all knew that Kirsten was a widely respected shrewd businesswoman who had no enemies as she was so polite and considerate so they couldn't think of anyone who would want to hurt her. But for that matter, they wondered what kind of a monster would want to hurt Kirsten._

"Dad!" Seth's voice boomed from the hall interrupting Sandy's train of thought, "dad you up?"

Sandy looked to the door as his son jogged up the stairs holding the phone in his hand.

"Sssh, you'll wake up your sister."

"Sorry . . . but uh that was Detective Mitchell on the phone."

"Oh, what'd he say?"

"They found something . . ." he trailed off.

"What? Where? What did they find? Is it your mother?" Sandy spoke quickly.

"He uh he said they found the van in Napa."

"Napa?" he repeated stunned.

"Yeh."

"Oh ok, well lemme get dressed and we'll go see Detective Mitchell and see what's going on."

"Ok," Seth replied before walking out of his father's bedroom.

Sandy paced the room with six thousands thoughts in head and he was thinking so fast that no one thought could become lucid. He was simply frantic with thought.

What could be in the van?

Kirsten?

Her dead body?

What?

Sandy was afraid to leave the room because he feared that he would be walking to death and he didn't want that. But on the other hand, he could be heading towards his wife. He found himself in a paradox and figured that he was damned if he didn't but damned if he did.

He owed it to Kirsten, to Scarlett, to Seth, to Ryan and most of all to himself to walk out to door and ask Detective Mitchell what was up and what information that van did or did not behold.

* * *

Over an hour later they were at Detective Mitchell's office asking questions left, right and centre about the van and where Kirsten was.

"Look, I'm going up there now on a flight and I'll report back to you what the findings are."

"No you're not, I'm going too," Sandy barked.

"Mr Cohen-"

"That van took my wife and if she is anywhere near there I have to be there! So I'm getting a ticket whether you like it or not!"

"What about us dad?"

"You guys have to stay here, you have school and someone has to look after Red."

For once Ryan and Seth didn't put up a fight because they knew that if their mother did return, the house would be the first place she would go and they didn't want her to come home to an empty mansion. For all they knew she could be hurt and in need of help so they knew that they would rather pray for her to come home that see the van which for all they knew held her charred body.

They were pessimists at heart and thought of the worst scenarios so they wouldn't be hurt as much as they already had.

Sandy and Detective Mitchell approached the scene that was cordoned off by yellow police tape but they both climbed under it and walked to the scene. Detective Mitchell showed his badge to police officers whereas Sandy shuffled behind him with his head bowed.

Sandy lifted his eyes and parts of the van continued to come into view.

He was taken aback.

The van was burnt and soot marks covered every inch of it.

"Was there anything in it?" Sandy heard Detective Mitchell ask.

"Yeh, this way," an officer answered leading them to a nearby tent.

On the table was something they didn't expect.

It wasn't Kirsten.

It was her ripped and torn clothes in clear plastic bags with numbers written on them.

Her once immaculate top was stained with dirt with dark blood marks that speckled and spotted the material.

"Why aren't these burnt?" Sandy asked.

"Forensics guess that these were placed inside the van after it was burned out."

"Have forensics examined them for fingerprints yet?" Detective Mitchell continued.

"Not yet, they're getting ready to be sent to the labs."

"Is that it?"

"Well they are making a preliminary search through the van and they found these too," the office answered bringing them over to another table.

Sandy cautiously approached the tray and what he saw broke his heart.

"Oh my god," he breathed.

There they were, sitting in front of him as clear as the platinum they were made off.

Her wedding rings.

All three in the set.

The engagement ring.

The wedding ring.

The eternity ring.

All three.

Sandy could never imagine her finger without the rings on them and he didn't even want to think of Kirsten without them because he knew that she always held onto them when she was sad.

Now she was alone without them.

Sandy had to fight himself to stop his tears from flowing at seeing his wife's rings but he also had to fight himself to keep his anger in check from going and kicking the ass of the sick bastard that took her and took her rings from her.

Sandy didn't know what to do.

Time could only tell.

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**I know this chapter wasn't good but I'm trying to remember stuff from Forensics Detectives and things like that. Well that's that one done and I hope you enjoyed it.**

**As always, take care and rock on!**


	7. Rings of Hope and Strength

**I so suck at updating these but thank you soooo much for your patience and for reviewing. This is for my special girls and they know who they are.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own anything OC related only Scarlett and Detective Mitchell.

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**

"I dunno what to do man," Seth muttered honestly as he held onto his confidant, "I have no idea of what to do . . . . . . my mom has been abducted and I can't talk them to death into giving her back."

He paused as Captain Oats gave his response.

"Yeh I know that buddy but we have no idea where to find her or who has taken her . . . all we know is that they burned the van she was taken in and for some reason left her clothes and rings in it."

Seth again stopped for Captain Oats to talk.

Ever since Seth was a small child he always turned to Captain Oats for comfort. No matter how depressed or unhappy he was, Captain Oats was always there to offer his hoof and his infinite wisdom.

"Well my dad is hanging in there . . . . I think . . . I mean he's very upset about the whole thing obviously but he's trying to be strong for me and Ryan and Red which he doesn't have to be . . . . yeh I understand that . . . . but he loves mom so much its kinda sickening . . . . well there's been something weird going on between them this year and I know my running away was hard on her but he misses her so much . . . . . yeh I know . . . . yeh he's even moved out of their bedroom into the guest room."

Kirsten had been missing for 2 months and the family was beginning to feel almost devoid of any emotion.

The house was a wreck considering 3 men where trying to make a living on take-away foods because none of them had the physical energy or motivation to cook actual food. They had actually started to eat the food mechanically straight from the container it came in.

There was no playful banter.

No wise-cracks about Kirsten's talent of ordering and taking the food out of the containers.

There was no reaching over each other to steal the other's food.

Dinner was simply a ritual that the 3 men and a baby girl had to endure on a sofa without a woman telling them to watch where their food drops or to coerce them to move to the kitchen table.

The dining room table hadn't been used for dinner in a while but was covered with newspaper articles concerning her abduction, search maps, suspect profiles and screencaps from the CCTV footage.

Dinner simply wasn't dinner.

Sandy was simply lost inside and the only thing keeping him going was his 3 children.

Seth.

Ryan.

And Scarlett.

His baby daughter Scarlett was beginning to look more and more like Kirsten with each passing day.

In his dreams he was haunted by Kirsten's face.

In his dreams he could hear her screams for him to help her.

In his dreams he could see her tear-stained face.

In his dreams her normally joyful face turned to dust before his eyes.

In his dreams, he couldn't help her.

In the waking world, he couldn't help her.

He couldn't find her.

In the nights after her abduction he slept in their bed but half way through the night he would turn over and try to put his arm around her waist only to be reminded of her absence by a cold space.

It quickly became too painful for him to sleep somewhere where Kirsten's scent remained, so he moved all of his things and moved Scarlett's bassinet into the guest room thus leaving their bedroom as a shrine to the love of his life.

In the guestroom, he had what he would classify as peace considering that the intensity of his nightmares had lowered slightly. He was still waking up in a cold sweat with the outlines and features of Kirsten embedded in his eyes but he still couldn't sleep.

Sandy needed her presence.

He needed her to lightly kiss his cheek before she went to sleep, he needed her hand to find his in the middle of the night, he needed her leg to graze against his as they slept.

He needed her.

Scarlett still remained perfectly innocent to what was going on and simply looked at everyone that came and went and distracted herself with her toys. At eight months of age, she was getting very curious about the world around her yet she cried at the oddest times. Just last week she had cried a few minutes after eleven in the morning but most of the time she was very quiet unlike her usual gurgling when Kirsten was at home.

Sandy woke up facing what is usually Kirsten's side of the bed even though he was in the guest bedroom and he clung tightly to the rings that had been found in the wreck.

The forensics detectives had done all the work they needed to on the platinum bands and released them to Sandy.

Sandy had never let them go, he had never gone anywhere without them.

In his mind he prayed that wherever he went, through some sort of miracle, Kirsten would show up there and they would embrace longingly and he would place her rings back where they belong.

So far, that dream hadn't come true.

But during the day, he kept them in his pocket while during the night; they were housed tightly in his hand leaving an imprint on his skin due to his firm grip. Every night before he started his nightly ritual of tossing and turning attempting to get to sleep, he kissed his hand as it held the rings creating the illusion that he was kissing Kirsten goodnight or that the rings would communicate the kiss between the void of the Cohen house to the place that wasn't the Cohen house where Kirsten was being held.

When Sandy woke up, he opened his hand to reveal two platinum bands.

_Two?_

_Two rings?_

_Where's the third?_

_I can't have lost it, I can't have?_

Those thoughts repeated frantically over and over in his head as he jolted upright and searched the dishevelled sheets beneath him.

His fingers held firmly onto the remaining two as he searched for the elusive third ring as his opposite hand flattened the sheets, probing the creases.

When the ring wasn't beneath him or beside him, he lifted up his pillow and desperately looked for it.

Seeing that is wasn't there he lifted the other one and threw it behind him as desperation took over. It felt reminiscent of looking for Kirsten while looking after the children at the same time.

And there is was, lying there innocently under the pillow.

The ring was separate from its 'family' and separate from the warmth of Sandy's hand.

It was cold and alone under the white sheet of the pillow.

Sandy lifted the band up and held it securely in his hand, kissing his skin as if praying that it will not be lost ever again and telling Kirsten that he was still holding on to her and still holding out for her return.

There was a knock on the door.

"Yeh?" Sandy coughed groggily as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.

The door slowly opened and Seth walked in with Scarlett in his arms, "hey just seeing if you were up . . . erm Detective Mitchell is here . . . about the media thing," he reported softly and hesitantly which were two qualities Seth Cohen never exuded before.

"Oh ok . . . let me get dressed first," Sand replied monotonously.

"Ok sure."

Seth meekly closed the door and froze as he looked at his baby sister who was playing with his collar. He couldn't believe how dull Sandy's voice was, if this was what his voice was like when his mother was missing, he would hate to see what his voice would be like if his mother was god forbid _dead_.

Sandy half-heartedly walked over to the increasingly familiar wardrobe and began to change out of his pyjamas into a shirt and pants.

Once that task was complete, he morbidly placed his shoes on his feet with little or no emotion or an expression to speak off on his face.

After fulfilling his droning and purposeless actions, Sandy exited his bedroom and walked down the hall to the family room where Detective Mitchell was sitting in his usual chair.

"Good morning Sandy," he greeted.

"Is it?" Sandy replied blankly, "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it Sandy."

"So what's up?"

"Well, the press conference is today to help urge the public to get involved in Kirsten's search and we're hoping to get coverage in other states if the kidnappers have gone to other states. . . do you think you'll be able to talk about Kirsten and to urge them to help?"

"Yeh, I'll do it if it means more people looking for mom," Seth answered immediately as he lifted Scarlett up higher.

"Yeh me too, I mean if this helps to get people to see that we need her back then of course," Ryan added.

Sandy simply remained silent.

"Dad?"

"What? Yeh of course," he said half-distracted.

"Ok . . . and forensics came back on the van and they were able to get DNA off the floor which was an identical match to Kirsten's so that proofs that it was the vehicle she was taken in . . . and the prints they got off of her rings is being processed at the minute so hopefully that'll give us a lead," Mitchell reported back.

"I hope so, cuz I just want mom back."

* * *

Sandy, Seth, Ryan all sat along a table with a swarm of reporters, cameramen and media personnel before them. Scarlett was on Ryan's lap and flashes abused them from all angles.

"We are doing everything possible to find Mrs Cohen but we need the publics' help in the matter because this state is not a small place and considering that these kidnappers have had a two month head start they can be anywhere in this country and we need everyone's help," Detective Mitchell professionally said into the microphone placed in front of him, "her family are present today to make statements."

Seth started.

"All I want is my mom back because three men and a baby in a house alone without my mom is a disastrous combination and we can't cope . . . I'm not ready to lose my mom and neither is Newport, she's too precious to us and she's my mom and I love her and I just want her back more than anything . . . she nearly died earlier this year and I was so scared and that's how I am now . . . I'm scared . . . please . . . please let her come back . . . please."

Then Ryan started.

"I miss Kirsten a lot and I love her so much that I want her back so I can tell her that in person but whoever has her please just let her go and let her come back to her children and to Sandy . . . she doesn't deserve this, she's the most caring person I have ever met and she's jus . . . . she doesn't deserve this. Please, just let her come home, if you're hearing this and have her please. I beg you."

Ryan had become increasingly aware of his feelings and attachment to Kirsten. She was his mother and he will always see her as his mother because she had been there for him when he was in trouble, she was there for him was he was troubled and she was there for him when he needed her and didn't turn away from him at the first sign of trouble.

Kirsten Cohen was his mother but he just wished that he could say that to her and to call her mom.

Finally Sandy cleared his throat and began to speak.

"Ryan is right when he said that Kirsten doesn't deserve this . . . she doesn't, she has had a difficult year and we nearly lost her eight months ago . . . and we were not ready to lose her then and we are as sure as hell not ready to lose her now . . . she in invaluable to us and with her gone, our family has been empty and I find it hard to do anything when my wife is out there somewhere alone and somewhere unfamiliar . . . I vowed to protect her and this happens and I can't do anything and these people expect me to just give up on her and I can't do that . . . I just wan – I need her back . . . we need her back . . . we cannot raise Scarlett alone, I cannot raise a daughter without her mother . . . I will not let my daughter grow up without her mother . . .and these people who took her are expecting me too when I can't! I don't want our daughter asking where her mother is and I have to tell her that she was abducted when she was six months old . . . it's not fair on Scarlett, and it's not fair on Kirsten. Kirsten loves her children more than anything in this world and she was so happy to have Scarlett . . . and when we nearly lost her we knew we couldn't handle her being gone . . . please please please please let her go and I urge anybody with any information about Kirsten to come forward . . . she needs her family and we need her."

And with that Sandy stood up and left the podium closely followed by Seth and Ryan who was carrying Scarlett.

Sandy leaned up against a wall and reached into his jacket pocket and clutched Kirsten's rings to connect with her spirit and to receive energy and motivation from her. As his skin touched the platinum and his fingers touched the engagement gem he remembered all the times that she clutched at her rings or fiddled with them so she could gain strength from him and now here he was clutching her rings to gain strength from her.

Sandy desperately needed her.

"Dad? You ok?" Seth asked.

"Yeh, I'm fine . . . I just . . ."

"Miss mom."

"Is it that obvious? Yeh I miss her so much son."

"Me too."

"We all do," Ryan added, "I can tell Scarlett does too."

Sandy gently stroked the cheek of his little cherub.

"God, I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you guys," Sandy confessed.

"Same here dad."

Seth hugged his father.

They broke apart and motioned Ryan to join the family huddle with Scarlett.

Three men and a baby.

Minus one mother.

Equals one melancholy family.

* * *

**I hope you liked that and I'm sooooo sorry for the depressing chapters you have to understand that this isn't a happy go lucky story and Kirsten is in peril so please keep reading.**


	8. So Close Yet So Far

**Here is the new chapter and I know my fics have gotten a little ok majorly angst ridden but bear with it please . This is for all my girls and especially my sisters – Emzzie, Em and Lauren.**

**Disclaimer – I only own Bill and Gary and Scarlett.

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Bones had never before been smashed against walls like hers have.

Bodies were not meant to be violated like hers had.

Spirits were not meant to be irreparably broken like hers is.

Kirsten's mind had tried to repress every nuance of her life because everything in this dark room held a vestige that would haunt her. Demons would strike from every corner of the room and assault her via hallucinations or dreams.

One moment was clear in her mind and she remembers her broken body lying deliriously on her bloodied sheets, her eyes incoherently rolling in various vectors neither staring nor focusing on anything when all of a sudden a red demon thrust itself forth from the darkest part of the dark room and clutched at her face while digging it's broken nails into her face. Frightened, she swatted at it and screamed out begging for it to stop and flailing her limbs at something that wasn't there. Then she remembered Gary busting in through the door and slapping her hard across the face telling her to "Shut the fuck up!" before striking her once again.

In her mind, Kirsten suppressed her family.

She suppressed her father.

She suppressed her children.

She suppressed her husband.

Every thing Kirsten had to live for was consciously buried deep in her mind. It was still there but it was locked away and the key was hidden somewhere where she would never think of.

Suppression helped to accept what was happening to her.

She had no idea how long she had been held captive in this dank and dreary room. All she knew was that every time the door opened, she was a little closer to death.

If she didn't have to think about her family, then she would have no cause to stop herself from actively speeding up the process of leaving this place. Kirsten knew that she could not do that physically and if she tried mentally, they would abuse her body even more until she 'snapped out' of whatever trance she forced herself into. Her only escape that was conceivable began with's' but she wasn't about to do that just yet.

However, it was in her mind.

As Kirsten lay in the worn baggy black trousers they gave her and they straggling green tank top, she chewed at her chapped lip hoping the stinging pain it cause distracted her from the throbbing between her legs which was a result of their latest 'session' as they liked to call it. One of her orders was to get dressed after the sessions and to stay quiet. Kirsten simply obeyed as she was too weak to offer resistance.

Her internal injuries were trying to heal but her captors left little time for that to occur so for all she knew, the complications which arose during Scarlett's delivery could have started a chain reaction of internal bleeding which would eventually be her undoing.

She prayed at least.

But, the door creaked open.

She could hear a voice gently saying her name.

'_Kirsten.'_

It was familiar.

'_Kirsten, can you hear me?'_

Her mind tried to remember a face or the name associated with it.

'_Kirsten . . .'_ it echoed in her head.

A person slowly made their way from the door, along her bed to her head.

"Sandy?" she coughed as her frail fingers reached out into the darkness towards the shadowy figure.

Fingers ran over her hand until it finally held her hand gently.

Kirsten twisted her fingers around and gripped the hand.

Then she could feel a palm on her bruised cheek and she instinctively rubbed her face into it. But then the tender palm on her face, snaked to her neck where it grabbed at her dishevelled hair.

Stunned, Kirsten looked up at the figure and saw that he had stepped into the flow of light.

The features it highlighted were unmistakable.

The eyes were unforgettable.

The teeth that grinned at her were evil.

It was Gary.

"Aww sorry sweet pea, Sandy isn't here," he cooed maniacally as he clutched at her matted hair.

Kirsten moaned in pain for he was causing her to hunch over and her back was still reeling from the collision with the nearby wall some time before hand.

Time had no meaning to Kirsten.

It simply didn't exist.

She was ruthlessly pulled up off the bed by her hair and her hands instantly gripped at his wrists in a vain hope to alleviate his clutch.

But it would not yield.

Going to her feet, her knees where barely enough to support her as she had hardly walked since being thrown into this room and raped for the first time. However, today her legs did their best to keep her up because her body knew that if it gave in, they would give her a boot in the gut or the back just for suffering the consequences of their sick perverted poundings which held double meanings.

By her hair, she was guided out into the blinding unforgiving light of the living room.

Immediately she clenched her eyes shut but instantly tried to adjust to the brightness knowing what would happen. As she looked around she saw Bill sprawled out on the couch with a beer nonchalantly at his lips while his eyes looked at the television screen.

"Look there pretty one, your bastard is calling for you," Gary spat in her face as he pulled her head back towards him.

"It's pathetic really," Bill added.

"Kirsten, Kirsten," they mocked together.

"Please give her back, she doesn't deserve this," Gary continued on melodramatically after Sandy had begged for her return.

The Cohens were still doing TV appeals and this was their third attempt to get the public involved and here Bill and Gary were, sitting in a moth eaten couch, drinking cheap beer and sniggering at her family's attempts to find her.

"I'm much better looking than that ponce of a husband you have darling," Bill said as he swigged another gulp of beer.

"Oh definitely, what did you ever see in that loser, bet he doesn't satisfy ya darling, we can," Gary sinisterly spurted

"Your kids a nice Kirsten, two boys and awwww a wee baby."

"Yeh, the wee baby is cute, she's too adorable to be your hubby's so I'm guessing it's not his, would you cheat Kirsten?"

"Leave . . . my family . . . alone," she managed to cough.

"Don't speak bitch!" Gary barked, "you better look at the screen because this will be the last time you see them for a long long time!"

Gary forced her down onto the ground immediately in front of the screen by the crown of her head. He forced her face as close to the television screen as possible and the flashing images caused her eyes to sting.

"Open your eyes!" Bill ordered.

Kirsten opened her eyes and absorbed her husband on the screen.

He was wearing a navy shirt with a matching jacket. His hair was still the way she remembered it as she unlocked her suppressed memories of him.

The memories of the times he walked into the house after surfing with wet salty hair.

The memories of the times when she ran her fingers through his hair as they kissed.

The memories of the times she ran her hands through his hair as they made love.

Memories came back as she absorbed his heartbreaking plea for her return.

The camera paned her family, moving from Sandy, along to Ryan, and then to Seth who was holding Scarlett.

"Please our daughter is almost a year old and Kirsten should be here for this once in a lifetime event," Sandy managed to say as he choked on his words.

'_Scarlett is almost one? That means I've been here anywhere between 1 to 6 months_' Kirsten thought.

Seeing her family and how their faces were mere ghosts of what they once were, it broke Kirsten's heart to think that she has caused them that pain. She was the reason they felt like that because they had to love her so damned much.

Kirsten dropped her eyes and the undying and unquenchable love she felt for her family overwhelmed her and the adorable gurgle of her baby daughter flooded her senses.

Joyful and worthwhile memories inspired her.

Taking one last look at the television screen Kirsten clenched her free hand into a fist and grinded her teeth.

Swivelling around suddenly, Kirsten swung her arm up between Gary's spread stance and connected with his balls causing him to release her hair before falling forward to his knees holding his private parts.

Bill immediately sat his beer bottle down and jumped up and approached Kirsten as she steadied herself on her feet.

He knew that Kirsten was too weak to defend herself because of the fun that he and Gary had been having with her, so he knew all too rightly that he had the upper hand. Yet however when he took a swing at her jaw, she ducked and dodged his attempt.

Kirsten threw herself behind him and kicked him forward causing him to crash into the nearby coffee table.

Pleased with herself, Kirsten looked around her and saw the front door to the outside world and which led to salvation.

But before she could move there, she had a sudden pang of pain slash through her body and her lungs seized up.

She coughed and struggled to catch her breath, but with determination she made her way towards the door.

It was getting closer and closer.

Closer and closer.

Gary will still hunched over.

Bill was laying in a field of wooden debris.

She was just a few steps away.

But her limp was slowing her down.

The pain she was feeling was getting too much and her body gave in and fell to the floor.

But.

She didn't give up.

Kirsten crawled, swivelled, scrapped and squirmed her way towards the door.

When she was merely inches from the door, Kirsten reached out her hand for the door.

Her fingers stretched as much as her digits would permit her.

She pulled her body ever closer to the door but it was never far enough.

Before she knew it a shadow had descended upon her.

Just as she was about to turn around, fingers entangled themselves harshly into her hair and lurched her backwards at an angle her back was not designed for. Even though she did ballet as a child, her back could not bend backwards anymore.

"No!" Kirsten screamed.

"You sneaky wee bitch!" Bill cursed as he pulled her.

Kirsten tried to resist him but he was too strong and her sudden drainage of strength took its toil. Her body and mind went to mulch and her inspiring image of her family faded before her very eyes and back in the recesses of her mind.

"Gary! You ok?"

"Yeh," he said angrily as he stood up looking at her, "You!"

Gary strode directly to her where he took her by the shoulders to her feet firmly before striking the back of his hand across her already battered cheek bone.

Kirsten went crashing to the floor falling on her bruised body.

There wasn't an inch of her body that hadn't been abused.

"This bitch needs to be taught a lesson for trying to escape!"

"I agree!"

"I'll go first and then you can follow if you want, well that is if I leave anything for you for what she did to my nuts!"

"Fine by me. Have fun."

"Oh believe me I will," he smiled sadistically as he rubbed his palms together.

Viciously he grabbed Kirsten and brought her back to her 'cell' where he slammed the door shut.

If Kirsten wasn't gone by now, she certainly will be after this.

There will be no cause for her to come out of the sanctuary in her mind now.

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**I know that chapter was a little dark but that's what this fic is and I can't believe I'm doing all this to Kirsten because I love her and Kelly Rowan to bits but this is just a fic and not the show so bear that in mind, I do as I write hehe.**


	9. Scarlett Joanna Cohen

**Et Hey, I'm back. While typing up my play I decided to squeeze this update in and I hope you have a tear in your eye at the end, just kidding. Thanks again for all the reviews. I dunno if I can put another Kirsten chapter in in the future but who knows.**

**Disclaimer – Don't own any OC character

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**

Every morning Sandy woke up with the same lonely feeling that gnawed away continuously at his heart. The familiar cold space beside him endlessly plagued his thoughts. There was once a time that every morning he woke up with the simple wish that she would be laying there and his eyes would project her curled up beside him nonchalantly and that she would wake up, kiss him and he would place her rings back on her finger.

But the wish that his heart forever makes when he's asleep does not come true.

Opening his eyes, he took in his surroundings however hazily but then he asked himself the usual and increasingly haunting questions . . .

Why does he bother to get up when he doesn't have her there?

Why does he open his eyes when he doesn't have her to look at?

Why does he breathe when he can't inhale her scent?

Why does he crawl into bed or eat when he doesn't have her to live for?

Why does he raise their three children without her?

Then he answers the questions with the same seven words . . . because it's what Kirsten would have wanted.

It's what Kirsten would have wanted.

Sandy knew that he would do anything for Kirsten so therefore he opened his eyes in the morning, toiled through the day emotionlessly and went to bed at night praying to any deity to return Kirsten.

Rolling over onto his side, his eyes fell onto the innocent bassinet sitting across from him and suddenly a sense of bittersweet clarity descended upon him.

Scarlett.

28th March.

Her birthday.

His daughter was one year old.

His wife had been missing for a week shy of six months.

And Kirsten wasn't here to celebrate this momentous event that is a first birthday of a child or else perhaps sometime during the day the door bell would ring and there she would be standing in front of him.

"Kirsten," he whispered.

Sandy dragged himself half-heartedly out of bed not noticing that he was still wearing what he had on the previous day as he made his way over towards Scarlett.

"Hey baby girl," he cooed as she looked at him.

"_Oh god Sandy!" Kirsten panted with pure panic in her voice, "Sandy, something's wrong, it's not supposed to hurt this much!"_

In Scarlett's blue eyes he replayed the instant her delivery went horribly wrong and right before his very eyes he saw Kirsten's sweat covered face, her eyes were clenched shut in pain and her breathing was ragged and her lying back in the hospital bed.

Almost as quickly as he entered the flashback, he came out of it and looked down as his gurgling daughter.

"_Sandy! Sandy help me please," she cried reaching out for his hand, "Please, it hurts too much . . . I can't do it . . ."_

Gently he picked Scarlett up and held her close to him and in return she griped his navy t-shirt but while he cuddled Scarlett, he walked out of the room towards to opposite end of the house to the kitchen.

"Hey dad," Seth greeted blankly.

"Hey."

"Hey squirt," he added as he tickled the chin of his sister, "the big zero one today."

As they both comprehended the meaning of the day, the little emotion that they possessed was immediately drained and replaced by melancholy and unwanted feelings that was created by the void where a sign hung saying 'Please insert Kirsten here'.

"Yep Red is one today."

'_I bet mom would've planned a whole huge birthday party like when I was one and she would dote all over her and dress her up in the most adorable girly dress she could find_' Seth thought as he poured a cup of coffee for Sandy.

"Here dad, you look like you could use some coffee," he offered.

"Oh thanks Seth."

Seth took Scarlett into his arms and took her into the family room where he set her on the floor while he sat on the couch.

Meanwhile, Sandy was holding his cup of coffee in the kitchen leaning against the island staring blankly at nothing.

"_Oh god . . . s-s-s-Sandy . . . I-I-I-I can't stay a-awake," Kirsten whispered weakly._

"_Kirsten? Kirsten? Come on honey, stay with us! Kirsten!" Sandy's voice pleaded with her as her eyes slowly closed, "Kirsten!"_

_Then doctors and nursed swarmed around her muttering all kinds of medical jargon that meant little to Sandy and before he knew it she had been wheeled out of the room._

"Dad!" Seth called.

Sandy was snapped back into reality by his son's call.

"Dad, come here quick!"

After setting his cup onto the counter, Sandy walked into the next room where Seth stood dumbfounded.

"What is it?"

Gawking, Seth simply pointed.

Sandy followed to where his finger was indicating and was shocked at what he saw.

Scarlett was walking.

She was standing on her own two feet and walking towards her brother with her arms open to him to balance herself.

"Oh my god," Sandy whispered.

At the sight of her father, Scarlett decided to switch directions from her elder brother to Sandy and she waddled towards him babbling excitedly. When she reached, Sandy scooped her up proudly in his arms and kissed her cherub cheek but instantly he thought of Kirsten and how she would have loved to have been here to witness her daughter's first steps.

After Scarlett's delivery, Kirsten was very weak and they didn't think that she would pull through and Kirsten had confessed to him that she wished that she could get better just to watch Scarlett walk and talk and just see her grow up. Yet Kirsten did recover and her wish of seeing Scarlett grow up didn't come true. She only got to be with her for six months.

Actually less than six months considering she had been in ICU for one month and then in recovery for another month.

How cruel was it to dangle the chance that Kirsten could see her child grow up and then snatch it away after such short period of time as if hanging a toy ball over a kitten and teasing it with it and when their claws got even the slightest bit close it was callously tugged away.

It wasn't fair.

"Mom woulda loved this," Seth whispered.

At the sound of Seth's mention of his mother, Sandy was snapped out of his train of thought, "Yeh that she would."

Just as Ryan trodded his way into the kitchen, the door bell rang.

"I'll get it," Sandy announced as he walked down the hall to the door.

Before he pulled open the door he hitched Scarlett up his body, getting a better grip. Then he pushed down the handle to expose Julie.

"Julie."

"Sandy," she greeted, "there she is – the birthday girl," Julie added as she stroked Scarlett's chin where afterwards she pulled out a box from behind her back.

Sandy simply looked at the pastel pink gift as if it was the fact that people had moved on and didn't respect Kirsten's lack of presence.

"Thank you Julie," he managed to utter before indicating that she could come through to the family room.

With Julie in tow, Sandy walked down the hall with a forever nagging of melancholy needles sticking into his heart.

"Julie?" Ryan said.

"Ryan, Seth . . . I just came by to wish Scarlett a happy birthday on behalf of myself and your grandfather," Julie clarified in a far too cheery tone.

"Oh thanks," Seth hesitantly replied, "you shouldn't've"

In fact Seth wished that Julie hadn't come because knowing Julie Cooper-Nichol he knew that she would lavish Scarlett with attention just like his mother would have but his mother's attention would be hugs and kisses and raspberries on the stomach with a birthday cake with a single candle where Julie's attention would be on baby's first diamond necklace with a huge extravagant cake complete with cocktail party. Or was that Seth's own version of what Julie would do.

"It was no trouble at all; I mean you only turn one once right."

You only turn one once.

"_I can't wait till she's one Sandy . . . because that way we won't have to remember how I nearly died or how much pain I was in because just by looking at her you can tell and see that she's worth it," Kirsten told him shortly after she was released from hospital while they stood in each other's arms overlooking their miracle daughter._

"What did you get her?" Seth forced himself to ask.

"Oh well you open it Seth or should we let the birthday girl do it?"

"No we'll do it for her," Ryan interjected.

Seth took the box from Julie and while balancing it on the palm of his hand he undid the magenta ribbon. Afterwards, he set the ribbon on the head of the couch before he gently lifted off the box cover. He pulled back the protective sheeting revealing a pastel pink and white dress embroidered with tiny rabbits and butterflies in matching colours of cream and pale rose.

Delicately he lifted it up and presented it to Ryan, Sandy and Scarlett.

"What do you think Red?" he cooed.

Gurgling Scarlett reached out and ran her tiny fingers over the material enthralled.

"_Oh Sandy, isn't this just adorable," Kirsten said delighted as they looked for garments for Scarlett just before she was born, "it's so cute that we can't not get it and look, bunnies and awww a little daisy, I remember you brought me a single daisy once but not one of those little garden kinds, it was a big one remember."_

"_Yeh I remember," he smiled at her perky behaviour which he put down to pregnancy hormones and the shear bliss of giving birth soon._

"_Do you?"_

"_Of course I do," he whispered before kissing her lightly as she held the small piece of clothing._

As the pleasant memory subsided, Sandy quickly handed Scarlett to Ryan who took her gently into his arms kissing her head as she looked around for the pretty dress.

Suffocating, Sandy managed to get out of the house before stumbling against the coffee table that sat near the pool. The barbed wire that surrounded his anguished heart had contracted and stung into him.

"Kirsten," he whispered while looking out at the perfect horizon.

Perfect?

When was it perfect and not just another horizon that he had seen everyday?

What was perfection?

Perfect is a sense of completion and perfection is the state of being perfect.

That two syllable word had very little reference in Sandy's vocabulary as he always associated perfection with Kirsten as she was beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, loving, devoted, a loving mother and a perfect wife. So with the void that was growing ever wider, perfection meant nothing to him except for a smiling blonde angelic woman who began to fade into the mists of his broken being.

"Sandy? You ok?" Julie asked as she climbed elegantly up the steps.

"Oh hi Julie, yeh I'm ok," he answered bravely.

"You know Kirsten told me you were a lousy liar."

A small smile tugged at his mouth at hearing how Kirsten's words resonated through Julie.

"So I ask again, are you really ok?"

Sandy paused as he pieced his sentences together through the incoherent jumble of words that fluttered aimlessly in his head.

"No, I'm not Julie," he honestly replied bowing his head, "this isn't fair; this isn't how it's supposed to be. Scarlett is not meant to turn one without Kirsten and Kirsten is supposed to be here when she starts walking which she did just before you came and we came so close to losing Kirsten this time last year and . . . and we had a chance for Kirsten to know her daughter and to see her grow up and now this? She's been gone for 6 months Julie. Six god damn months!"

"I know Sandy I know."

"But all I want to do is hold her in my arms and never let her go but I can't do that, I can't do anything and these people out looking for her are doing one hell of a job because they haven't found her . . . I'm sorry I shouldn't be like this because it is Scarlett's birthday and it is a time to celebrate but then I just think what Kirsten would've organised for her . . . that dress is something she would've bought, she would've tried to bake her a cake which would obviously go totally wrong but we'd tell her it would be the thought that counted but none of that is going to happen unless she rings that door bell."

Julie simply looked at Sandy and how he stared at the horizon as he turned away from her.

She thought that he must have aged ten years in the last six months and Julie knew how much Sandy loved Kirsten and that kind of love that the shared was a very rare thing even if it existed at all and she could see just by looking at him how desperate and lost he was without her.

"I can only imagine how you feel Sandy but you can't give up hope because you have three children in there who need their father to reassure them that he is there for them and that he will not fall apart no matter how worthless he feels and you know as well as I do that Kirsten would want Scarlett to have a birthday regardless of whether or not she was present because we know that she will be here," Julie spoke soothingly, "but she may not be here physically but she will be here," she finished as she placed her hand over her heart.

Sandy looked at Julie and it was true what he always said, 'Julie Cooper-Nichol, she always surprises you'.

"Thanks Julie."

Julie simply gave him a small smile as she squeezed his arm reassuringly before she returned back into the house.

His gaze fell once again back to the horizon but then it moved to his surroundings; the pool, the terrace, the pool house, the house, their bedroom and the trees.

It all created the false fantasy of perfection and that's how many people viewed the Cohens.

As perfect.

The couple marriage.

Perfect children.

Perfect house.

Just the greatest family alive.

But it wasn't perfect.

It was a perfection that was simply an illusion.

Because perfect didn't seem so perfect.

Sandy returned back to the family room and watched as Scarlett giggled infectiously at Ryan who was using one of her toys as a puppet while using a high voice to animate it singing 'Happy Birthday'.

As he crossed over to his children fatigue swept over him even though he wasn't long after waking. His stomach clenched tightly as a fist tightened around him and the barbed wire dug into his heart again.

His body began to shut down and all of a sudden he fell over the arm of the couch to the soft padding where he lay. But as he fell it wasn't as if he was aware of himself falling but rather he saw himself falling. However, after he hit the cushions, his perspective was back inside his body and it was black.

"Sandy!" Ryan and Julie called together.

"Dad!" Seth yelled in fear.

"_Kirsten!" his voice cried out as her eyes closed._

The old saying is that love is a disease that makes you not eat, drink or sleep and since Kirsten had been declared missing he hadn't ate nor drank properly or even slept calmly because he knew that he would not rest unless he knew she was alright..

It was true.

But in that saying they forgot to tell of the implications and tolls it took on the body as a result.

Sandy found that out.

Love is that perfection that held him to Kirsten's soul.

He was broken because she was unfixable.

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**I hope you enjoyed that and I'll get another update as soon as possible. I really appreciate how patient you all are and I really hope these chapters are worth your wait.**


	10. I'm A Believer

**I'm so addicted to this fic now. You love reading it and I love writing it. Thank you all for your encouraging reviews. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer – Don't own any OC character

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There she was.

Standing in front of him.

There she was.

"Sandy," she breathed.

Shifting her weight from one foot to other she stood looking as if she was about to cry.

There she was.

Kirsten.

His wife.

The one he had been looking for restlessly for the past eight months.

Kirsten.

He looked at her small body. The baggy trousers clung desperately to her hips and her ribs could be seen through her chest showing her evident weight loss. Her usually glowing complexion was dull and gaunt showing that she was a shell but her eyes were still the same. Those azure sapphire rich eyes that he had fallen in love with the second he laid eyes on her all those years ago.

But there she was.

"Kirsten," he whispered before moving towards her.

Slowly at first he went but then his steps began to get faster and faster following closely in succession bringing him ever closer to her. His eyes had been graced with her presence yet again and her beauty stung his eyes as the only thing he had to look at for the last months was photographs and they were as good as the real thing. Yet he half expected for her to remain on her spot while he ran but no matter how fast he ran or for how long he ran he would never get to her.

Almost like the numerous dreams he had about finding her.

A rainbow had shot up into the sky and tiny gems began to fall from the archway in the sky and the clouds moved into a formation of two doves flowing together until their beaks touched. Just like their hearts and their souls as they were joining again.

He broke into a run.

Then suddenly he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck crying blissfully while she threw her arms around him and rested her cheek on his shoulder. Tears flowed down her ashen skin as she held onto him urgently.

As their bodies touched after such a long time they knew that they would never let go of their embrace.

Their hearts pumped in their chests and they could feel the vibrations of every pulse and the fact that Sandy felt this let him know that she was there and that she was finally back in his arms.

As his muscular arms protected her from the surrounding air, he felt her spine through the material of her top. He knew that Kirsten had always been thin with a small frame but he had never seen or felt her so thin. If she had have been wearing a baggy top, he would not have noticed until he had touched her. But she was wearing a tank-top so it was easy to see her collar-bone, her shoulders, her arms and ribs. Kirsten had never been so thin and yet her she was. A virtual walking skeleton.

But she was alive.

She was right here.

"I missed you so much," she cried into his shoulder while still clinging furiously to him.

"God, you have no idea how much I missed you," he replied passionately as he cupped her face in his hands, "I missed you so much . . . so much and I never ever gave up hope . . . I knew you just had to be out there somewhere . . . I just had to find you . . . I love you so much and I missed you so much."

"I love you too . . . I missed you so much . . . don't let me leave again please . . . . Please!" she pleaded clutching onto his shirt.

"I won't . . . I won't."

They embraced again as Detective Mitchell started to move towards them.

Kirsten winced in pain slightly when he rubbed her back and he immediately pulled away concerned.

"You alright? What? What is it?" he blabbered quickly.

"It's . . . it's just," she began as she turned around to face away from him and she folded up the back off her tank-top to expose her back.

What was revealed shocked Sandy to the very core.

He half-expected to see every bone in her back jutting out and that every minute piece of her body could be seen poking through her skin but what he thought he would see and what he actually did, did not walk hand in hand. The causes did co-operate together and Sandy felt incomprehensible rage towards both.

"Oh g-" Sandy whispered.

In the small area of skin that she uncovered, lesions, lacerations, gashes and other injuries were brought into the California sunlight. The dark crust of her scabs decorated her pale and sallow skin while bruises added a different colour and shade to the maroon, brown and dark red lines. The purple and blue smudges varied in size with some covering a space as large as a compact disc whereas others were the size of golf-balls.

Sandy couldn't imagine the pain that she must have endured.

What had caused the gashes?

Falling in a bush while trying to get to him?

Someone cutting her skin?

He could visualise a knife falling to a cold stone floor while her blood stained the steel.

Then Sandy thought about the bruises that covered her back.

What on earth could have caused a bruise the size of a C.D?

What could have caused bleeding under the skin that extensive?

Did she fall on a rock?

Did someone beat her?

How would hurt a woman who was still recovering from childbirth?

A heartless psychopath that's who.

Some bruises were darker in tone than others so that either meant that a number of bruises were more recent that others or else that several were more severe than the more dully coloured ones.

"God . . . Kirsten, are you ok? Damn," Sandy said concerned as he gently hovered his fingertips over every diagonal slash and every unforgiving bruise, "you have to get those looked at. You may pick up an infection or something."

"No!" she blurted, "no, no hospital!"

"Kirsten, you have to get those looked at."

"No!" Kirsten replied with fear evident in her voice.

"Why not? Kirsten you could have an infection."

"No . . . they'll touch me . . . they'll hurt me – they'll hurt me," she repeated over and over as she looked around her frightened.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's ok, Kirsten you're ok," Sandy tried but she continued to look around her terrified as he gripped her shoulders gently but firmly and trying not to put too much pressure on her protruding bones.

"They'll hurt me!" she cried.

"No, no they won't . . . I'll make sure they won't. I'll be there to make sure; I'll be with you ok, there's nothing to be afraid of."

She squirmed under his touch, moaning as she did so and tears roamed down her cheeks.

But her disposition was slowly calming down and Sandy pulled her little by little into his warm embrace where he felt every shudder of her frail body.

Then his thoughts moved.

Seth.

He knew that Seth would be indescribably happy at his mother's return because during the time immediately after her abduction, their son had become very withdrawn and would open kitchen cupboard, cabinet and larder every five seconds to check them without taking out anything. He just opened and shut the door mechanically and in the growing months he stalked around the house silently with his mobile phone glued to his hand in case there was any news.

Sandy knew that the second he saw Kirsten, he would sprint at twice the speed he did to be in her arms. He and his son where different in their approach to Kirsten – Sandy needed her in his arms whereas Seth needed to be in Kirsten's arms.

Ryan.

Ryan had practically turned into a walking automaton as he just went about his business without talking to anyone unless they addressed him. He simply sat in his chair and was seen and not heard. Every day Ryan would wake up, get breakfast, go to school, come home, go to the pool house, do his homework, eat dinner and go to bed without a single word being exchanged. Kirsten was the element in his voice that was missing.

Sandy thought that when Ryan saw Kirsten he would stand still on the spot as if he had just seen a ghost but he would embrace her once he knew that his touch would not shatter her into a million pieces.

Scarlett.

Their daughter will have her mother back and Kirsten can watch Scarlett grow up now. No risk of irreversible mental trauma for their daughter and he could finally see Kirsten cuddle and kiss Scarlett the way she had dreamt about.

Their family would be repaired.

And their prayers had been answered.

"Sandy?" Detective Mitchell said as he walked up.

"Yeh?" Sandy replied turning around breaking away from Kirsten.

"You ok?"

"Yeh, why wouldn't I be?"

"I just thought that you were disappointed about the empty room and you were staring off into space," he said.

"Disappointed? Why would I be when-" Sandy replied turning back to Kirsten.

But he was greeted by tarmac and a hill with tall grass.

Kirsten? Kirsten? She was right here, I held her in my arms, and I was talking to her he thought frantically.

"Sandy?" Mitchell asked.

"N-nothing . . . never mind."

"Ok, well um I've given the order to expand the perimeter around the motel so several units are heading out now and we have road blocks set up so officers can survey cars coming in and out of Eureka and we have people on the look out throughout town. I thought you'd like to know."

"Yeh um thank you."

"No problem," he replied before turning around and heading back to the motel room.

Kirsten?

What had happened?

In his mind he went over everything and everything. He remembered everything. He could visualise every scar and every bruise and he could still feel her bones through her skin so where was she.

An hallucination?

But then suddenly he heard a woman moan as she stumbled in the long grass as it moved on this breezeless day.

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**Ok, hands up who hates me? Let me know.**


	11. Love Is A Disease

**Thank you all so much for your patience with this story and I am so sorry that it has taken me ages to update it but I've had writer's block with the original concept for this chapter but now I've sorted it out. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own any OC character – only Scarlett and Detective Mitchell

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Sandy always believed that love was like oxygen and that being with Kirsten, he was breathing and living because of that intoxicating splendid thing. He believed that love was all a person could ever need. Yet when talking about love and the existence of a 'significant other' or as the Spanish saying goes the 'media naranja', it was so easy to leave out the opposite aspect of that undeniable feeling and that was that in the absence of the loved one, love was like a disease. It was a parasite that assimilated everything. Crawling through your body shutting down everything and making you mentally drained, emotionally withdrawn and psychologically devastated.

His pure and undying love for his wife Kirsten had caused him to collapse.

It was clear to him that he was dependant on her and without her love, her caress, her touch, he was simply lost and that he couldn't function basically without her. So how could he look after three children without her when he could barely look after himself? How could he raise their daughter?

At that thought, Sandy sat up straight on the couch of the living room.

Their daughter.

The question wasn't how could he raise Scarlett but rather how could he raise her without causing long term psychological harm?

While Kirsten was pregnant and again during her recovery, he had read books with Kirsten about the dangers of maternal deprivation and the effects of attachment. It talked about a 'critical period' which is a space of time where an attachment to a primary caregiver must be made or else it never will be made and it should occur in the first two years of life and the primary caregiver is the model the child uses for future relationships. Also it warned that if a child does not get maternal love and attention then the child is in danger of becoming psychopathic and devoid of emotion in later life. Kirsten had feared that the time lost during her recovery may have harmed Scarlett in some way but Sandy eventually calmed her apprehension.

But looking at his daughter as she played at his feet with her toys, he looked into her blue eyes as she giggled and he couldn't help but wonder what harm was being done to her with the absence of her mother. His little angel could grow up and be psychologically harmed for life and that was the last thing he wanted for her as she was a gift.

Yet he couldn't tell through Scarlett's cheerful disposition.

Scarlett was constantly on his mind and he worried about her. He worried about Seth and Ryan naturally but Scarlett wasn't just at the front of his mind because she was more in danger of falling and bumping into something and hurting herself in the process but he fretted that one day she would start asking questions about her mother and when that time came he would have no choice but to answer her. Sandy knew that Seth and Ryan would explain in depth how loving and attentive Kirsten was to them.

Was?

Was Sandy using past tense?

Kirsten is loving and attentive and a wonderful mother, wife, daughter, sister and person.

Sandy couldn't believe that he had just used the past tense when referring to Kirsten but he lifted up his eyes and scanned the table in front of him and looked at the vast array of newspaper articles and clippings he had accumulated in the eight month's since Kirsten's abduction. But the flow of information was decreasing as of late as her search was slowly dying in intensity and man numbers were dropping much to their resistance. He read the reports from Detective Mitchell; he looked at the pictures that were used in bids to jog someone's memory and to recognise her.

He looked at her smile in the photographs.

The photograph that was widely used was one taken at a Newport function after Scarlett's birth and when she was fully recovered in the doctor's opinion. She was wearing a deep purple dress that went down to her knees as he recalled. The dress had a translucent material that crossed her chest and came up to tie around her neck in an upside-down 'V' shape while the rest of the dress exposed her shoulder-blades. In the photograph she angled her head and smiled her heart-stopping smile.

He missed her smile desperately.

However unbeknownst to him, Scarlett had shuffled over to him and balanced herself using his knee and placed her pink puppy dog stuffed animal into his lap. Sandy looked down and lifted the cuddly toy into his hand and read the tiny material label – 'hope' it read.

Hope was all that was fuelling him.

Sensing that her father was melancholy, she reached up to her face and tried to mould his mouth into a smile. But instead of making him smile, Sandy merely gave her a half-hearted smile and lifted his child up onto his lap where he sat back into the couch.

"You trying to make daddy smile?" he cooed as he pressed the toy's nose to her inherited button nose, "huh? You being a wee smiling angel, making people who aren't smiling smile huh?"

Scarlett giggled cheerfully at his antics.

"_Sandy! Sandy, stop it! No!" Kirsten laughed hysterically as he tickled her, "come on please Sandy my sides a splitting!"_

_She continued to laugh loudly as his fingers continued to assault her sides but suddenly she tripped over her feet and they both tumbled onto the couch in the family room and Kirsten had her arms circled around his neck._

"_Glad I stopped?" he asked seductively while on top of her._

_She looked around sarcastically as if thinking about her answer._

"_Maybe I am, maybe I'm not," she replied smiling, "I love you."_

The smile he remembered in that flashback manifested itself in front of his face in the form of his infant daughter.

Suddenly he became solemn.

"Hey cutie . . ." he paused, "you look so like your mother," he added while stroking her cheek delicately and setting his hand on her head, "so beautiful."

Scarlett looked up at him with pure innocence. It was almost as if Kirsten didn't exist to her but Sandy saw that when he mentioned Kirsten, her smile grew. Inside Sandy contemplated whether Kirsten's return would be a good or bad thing. Scarlett didn't see Kirsten for the few weeks of her life, and then had her for a very short time until she was six months old. But he pushed that thought aside immediately because he knew Scarlett needed Kirsten.

He needed her.

Seth needed her.

Ryan needed her.

The family needed her.

Newport.

Hell humanity needed Kirsten.

The thought or possibility that she may be dead never entered his mind. It may have entered other people's minds and he found it hard to believe that some people had turned her search into a murder hunt.

Dead.

Deceased.

Not alive.

Gone.

_In loving memory of Kirsten Vanessa Cohen (née Nichol)_

_1967 – 2004_

In his mind's eye he saw the image of her gravestone flash before him. The writing etched into the marble scared him and he could see her grave sitting serenely under the branches of a tree. The last thing he ever wanted to do was to mourn his wife. Just the thought of putting her lifeless body in a coffin and burying her in the ground where people would walk over her resting place without thinking about what was beneath the soil.

He never thought that she could be dead because as silly as they thought it was but they believed they had a psychic link of some kind and in his mind he knew that the love of his life was somewhere alive and they would be reunited one day – he prayed every night, every day, and every hour for that to happen.

His precious had to come home.

Sandy saw so much of Kirsten in Scarlett. Her angelic looks, her raven beauty, her smile, her inquisitive eyes and most eerie of all . . . her personality.

But before he could compare his daughter to his wife any longer the doorbell rang causing Sandy to come out of his reverie.

He picked up Scarlett and handed her back the teddy before placing her gently in her nearby play-pen where she occupied herself with her toys. On the other hand, Sandy crossed the living room to the front door all the while trying to identify the blurred outline of the visitor.

Naturally, he opened the door.

"Ma!" he exclaimed surprised.

There stood his mother with two suitcases sitting beside her feet.

"Sanford," she replied softly before enveloping her son in a hug, "how are you holding up?"

How am I holding up? How am I - ? My wife is missing and I find it hard living without her and I collapsed because I love her too damned much. I don't know whether Kirsten's alive or dead. How do you think I'm holding up! Sandy thought.

"Sandy?"

Sandy closed his eyes as he held onto his mother.

"I'm not . . . I'm not Ma," he replied simply.

Without another word Sandy broke away from Sophie and lifted her bags into the hallway. Then a thought hit him.

"Um I'll take your bags up to the guest bedroom and um I'll take the couch," Sandy blurted as he made his way up the stairs where he deposited the bags in his current bedroom.

When he came back down, he found Sophie leaning over the edge of the play-pen cooing over Scarlett but then when she became aware of Sandy's return she asked, "The couch?"

"Yeh."

"Have you been using the guest room?"

"Yes . . . seven months give or take a couple of weeks – probably take."

"I'm so sorry Sandy."

"Ma don't . . . I don't wanna hear it from another person . . . I can't sleep in that bed, I just can't . . ."

"Why not? It is yours."

"It's Kirsten's too! I am trying to live my life and raise our children without her and I tried to do that while in that room but every night when I turned over to face her side of the bed my arm would automatically go to drape over her waist . . . but she isn't there. I can't live like that and I certainly can't sleep without her so I figured that the best option was to get out of our bedroom and use the guest room. Our bedroom is like a shrine to her now."

A shrine?

Was he actually mourning Kirsten?

Was he doing exactly what he didn't want to do and mourn her?

Was moving out of their shared sanctuary confirming her disappearance?

Was it a premonition of her death?

Sophie lifted her granddaughter softly into her arms and gently kissed her cheek.

"I'm sorry it took me so long getting out here."

"Don't worry about it . . . I'm just glad you're here," Sandy said not looking at his mother.

But you could've come here sooner but you didn't because you hate Kirsten, you always have and I bet there is a part of you that is glad she's gone! Sandy thought bitterly.

"Has there been any more news?"

"Apart from the burnt out van?" he said, "No, there hasn't been anything else . . . forensics have gone through the van with a fine tooth comb only finding blood spats that match Kirsten's and a few blonde hair strands that they've identified as hers."

"What about the van itself? Anything being done about that?"

"They are trying to find the van's owners through DMV's but I haven't heard anything about that."

"It'll take time Sandy so be patient."

Patient? Patience wasn't a quality that Sandy would have when it came to Kirsten's well being. When Scarlett was being born and the doctors had closed him off from her as they whisked her out of the room, he had paced back and forth through the waiting room and up and down the halls of the hospital, yelling and apologising afterwards to every recognisable nurse and doctor that passed by.

Patience was not a virtue.

"I know Ma . . . but I can't when I know she's out there somewhere and for all I know she could be seriously injured," he replied while looking down at the clippings.

"She may be out there and then again she may not."

Sandy looked up at his mother stunned.

"How can you say that? How – can – you – say that?"

"Sandy, she's been gone for eight months and you have just got to accept the fact that she may be dead."

"I can't and I won't accept that! I know that you don't like Kirsten and you never have but I love her more than words, emotions and any other god forsaken thing on this planet can convey and here you are saying that she may be dead when you're holding her daughter! The woman who gave you your grandson and granddaughter is out there and you act like you don't care and asking these question to make it look like you do care when you don't!" Sandy retorted angrily.

Sophie was taken aback by her son's outburst and she knew that he was right. She had never liked Kirsten not since meeting the skinny blonde daughter of prestige. She remembered Sandy bringing Kirsten to her home in the Bronx and Kirsten stood in front of her politely extending her hand which she grudgingly took. Looking back now, she half-expected Kirsten to come dressed in designer jeans, the 'cutest shirt ever' and stiletto heels but in actual fact she was in a normal pair of jeans, a simple blouse and trainers.

She didn't know why she disliked Kirsten so much when she wasn't a stuck up ditzy bobble head who relied on daddy and his check-book to get by in the world but in reality she knew that Kirsten was a hard-working, focused and intelligent woman who was a caring and loving mother to three children.

Sethela, Ryan and Scarlett. Why couldn't they have given Scarlett a Jewish name like they did with Seth? Scarlett? It's not a name. It's a colour! Sophie thought.

The only reasons she didn't like Kirsten was because she was blonde, blue eyed, rich and non-Jewish. She had desperately wanted Sandy to marry Rebecca Bloom but when Kirsten entered the scene she could quickly see how much he loved her already.

"I'm sorry Sandy . . . but when your father left I wasn't telling myself eight months later that he'll come back-"

"But this is different! Kirsten didn't leave, she was abducted . . . I know this is stupid but I can feel that she is still alive . . . and Scarlett can feel her too . . . I know she does because I just remembered when Kirsten was abducted, the babysitter said Scarlett cried."

"That doesn't mean anything, _feelings_ aren't proof."

"See, I knew you wouldn't believe it because you don't believe in that kind of thing . . . Kirsten and I have a love that I can't explain but I know she's alive. She'll come home."

"And then what?"

"What do you mean?"

"Look Sandy, I'm just giving you a reality perspective here but what do you intend to do when she returns? Pick up where you left off?" she asked before setting Scarlett back down, "In abduction cases there is most likely sexual abuse, physical abuse, psychological damage and god knows what else."

He hadn't thought of that. Sexual abuse? Rape? He had only prepared himself for broken bones and internal bleeding but nothing that involved physical therapy and mental reconstruction.

All he knew was that when Kirsten returned, his arms would be wide open for her to fall into.

He didn't have an answer.

But the sound of the doorbell saved him from speaking further.

Neutrally he moved to the door and opened it to reveal Detective Mitchell.

"Detective Mitchell?"

"We have some news."

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**Thanks again for reading and I apologise again for the delay between chapters but there was the new chapter and I hope you enjoyed it and it was worth the wait. Rock on.**


	12. Whispers of Hope

**Thanks for all your comments and reviews. I love you all and I was in private study this morning with nothing to do so I wrote the next instalment. Here it is and please please please keep your reviews coming because I love them and if you have any ideas, please forward them too. Love you all.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own any OC character except for Bill, Gary, Detective Mitchell and Scarlett.

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"We have some news," Detective Mitchell reported.

Inside Sandy's head he could hear the Hallelujah chorus resonating throughout the passageways that forever rang of Kirsten and he could almost feel her in his arms. But he also could have sworn that he felt her fingertips lightly stroke his back and shoulders. Had they found her? When were they heading out to get her? Where was she? Had they already found her and she was in his car and he would turn to the car to motion her to come out and she would run into Sandy's and hold desperately onto him?

Was it possible?

"News?" he repeated softly.

Sandy absentmindedly tried to look past Detective Mitchell and look into his car from the door to which the Detective matched his line of sight.

"Yes . . . is there something wrong?"

"Sorry - my imagination just got the better of me," he replied after being disturbed from his reverie of hope.

"No problem," Detective Mitchell politely smiled.

"Please come in Detective Mitchell," he ushered.

"Please Mike."

Mike entered into the all too familiar mansion but as he walked further into it he saw an unknown woman standing by the colourful play-pen that contained Scarlett. At hearing his approach the strange woman turned around to face him. It wasn't a warm face that he had gotten used to in the Cohen household or the Nichol family nor was it emotionally worn which was evidence of Kirsten's absence.

"Hello," she replied formally.

"Hi, how are you?" he answered back.

"Uh, Mike this is my mother Sophie Cohen, Ma this is Detective Mike Mitchell – he's the one leading Kirsten's search," Sandy said as he introduced the two.

That explains it Detective Mitchell thought.

"Nice to meet you," Mike said as he extended his hand to her.

"You too," she replied taking it.

"So you said you had news."

"Yes I did . . . would you like to sit down?" he murmured gesturing to the couch.

Sophie was confused by everything. All she knew was that this man in front of her held news about her daughter-in-law and her possible whereabouts. What news that was she did not know only he knew. The intelligence could be that they found Kirsten judging by the tone of his voice. However that could mean anything. It could mean that they found her body and the upside was that it was clothed and not mutilated. Or his tone could hide a 'but' for example the news could be that they found her alive _but_ she has severe mental health damage or verging on amnesia.

Whatever information he was about to disclose, it would certainly lift her son's spirits after the argument they were teetering on.

As she sat down on the couch, she was not surprised when Sandy didn't join her and merely leaned against the arm of the sofa remaining standing.

"What is it?" Sandy asked.

"We were able to get a name that was connected to the registration number of the burned out van through the DMV."

"And?"

"And we traced it to a set of brothers, Gary and Bill Truman who come from Bakersfield, California. We've pulled pictures of them off the police archives and during a search under their names it's been revealed that these two have previous convictions of armed robbery, rioting, assault, battery and two accounts of sexual assault," Detective Mitchell reported.

Two accounts of sexual assault.

If that's true then if these two were the culprits then they most likely would have molested or worse.

Raped her.

Sandy shivered at the thought.

"S-so what's the next step?"

"Well, we are trying to get a last known location on them and we'll hopefully get a member of the public to call and let us know where they are hiding because I highly doubt they are in the op-"

Detective Mitchell was disrupted by the ringing off his phone in his jacket pocket which he instinctively went to answer.

"I apologise but I have to answer this . . . may I?" he asked indicating the kitchen.

"Please," Sandy answered before Mike exited the room.

They were a steps closer to finding Kirsten and knowing where she was being held and Sandy would prove to his mother that his wife is still alive and they in fact had a link.

Gary and Bill Truman.

Gary and Bill _Truman_!

Gary _and_ Bill Truman!

Two individuals whose names meant absolutely nothing to him took it upon themselves to abduct his wife when she was just an innocent woman going to meet her husband for lunch as she would normally do. They took her from her home, from her family, from her life and they stood idly by and let their appeals for her safe return go by unanswered. Why had they taken her? He didn't recall their names from any of his cases in Newport or from Berkeley. Did they find her attractive? Hell every man in Newport did but none would stoop so low as to use abduction to get his way with her. Where they desperate, ruthless men who couldn't get a woman of their own so they stole one for pleasure?

"Oh my god Ma, do you know what this could mean?"

"Yes I do Sanford and all I can say is don't get your hopes up. These men are probably those don't feel any remorse when they hurt a family by taking a mother," Sophie replied.

Exasperation was boiling up in Sandy and the temperature was quickly rising,

"Ma, would you please stop bullshitting this . . . yes I know these men may be psychopaths with little or no remorse but I have to try and protect Scarlett from becoming like them in the absence of her mother. I need to give Seth and Ryan their mother back and I just simply need her back and I can't give up hope . . . I know you only want to prepare me for any possibility possible but please don't take my hope away that she's alive . . . she's a fighter and I know she won't give up until she's safely home," Sandy responded passionately.

"I know Sandy . . . I know but I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Get hurt? Ma, I am hurting. Every second she's not here I ache, it's just unbearable but our kids make me think that there is something worth living for and I know Kirsten would want me to carry on without her."

"How do you know that Sandy?"

"Because I would want her to do the same thing if our positions were reversed," he answered directly.

Then Detective Mitchell entered the room hurriedly while still on the phone, "Yes . . . of course, we'll be right there. Thank you" and with that he hung up as Sandy and Sophie looked expectantly at him.

"That was one of my colleagues on the phone and he received a call five minutes ago about two men who rented a motel room and the caller said that it was a three bedroom room and that other occupants have heard screams of a woman from that room, so we think it's definitely worth checking out. My partner also said that he emailed the caller pictures of Bill and Gary and he made a positive match," Mike informed.

"Oh my god, where?" Sandy blurted.

"Eureka."

"Are you gonna go up there?" Sophie asked.

"My partner informed the local authorities to go to stand by positions near the motel without turning on the sirens and I have a plane to catch now to go up there."

"We have a plane to catch," Sandy corrected.

"Excuse me?" Mike and Sophie said together.

"I'm coming too because if there is any chance she's there I have to be there."

There was no way that Sandy was going to let some paramedic or an unfamiliar detective be the one to rescue Kirsten and to tell her that everything will be alright because it will be his name that she will automatically cry for and it will be him she will reach for.

"Sandy-"

"Look, we're just wasting time waiting around and arguing this but this is my wife so if either of you can tell me a good reason why I shouldn't go, tell me now?" Sandy argued.

Neither of them could answer him.

"Thank you," he replied, "so Ma can you just mind the boys and Scarlett. There is plenty of baby-food in the cupboards and Seth and Ryan know what to do, tell them to call me anytime."

"Of course, just go, we'll be fine here."

"Right Sandy, come on," Mike said.

Sandy picked up his jacket that he had sprawled on the back of the opposite couch before flinging it around his shoulders and following Mike out the door into his car. Once both doors were closed and seat-belts were fastened, the car headed towards the airport for a speedy flight to Eureka.

* * *

Several police cars slowly moved into position around the motel. Inching their way slowly to encompass the complex and to cut off any avenue of escape. Sandy was sitting in a rented car that Detective Mitchell was driving and he clutched at his gold wedding band.

Gold like her hair.

Gold like her personality.

Gold like her worth.

Priceless.

He was afraid.

He was afraid for what they would find once the officers had rammed in the door.

A dead body?

Kirsten huddled in the corner scared?

What?

Then once every car was in place and every officer was shielded behind their car door with their fire-arm trained on the motel for any sign of Bill and Gary trying to escape, they waited.

And waited.

And waited.

They waited for the opportune moment.

Seconds ticked by.

Minutes clocked by.

Then.

They were given the order.

"Move in, move in, move in!" rang through every communication device that was on every dashboard, every bullet-proof vest and through every ear.

Swat team member after swat team member swiftly and silently made their way to the door of the room that Bill and Gary had rented. A heavy boot forced the door to open abruptly and they flooded into the room each carrying a weapon.

Detective Mitchell and Sandy walked towards the open door.

Sandy was still unsure as to wait to expect but all he knew was that Kirsten had been in that room and he was so close to having her back with him and their children. His dreams were so close to coming true.

He was merely metres away from her.

"Report," Mitchell barked at the threshold of the door.

A single man came over to them.

"Negative sir, nothing in here."

"What!" Sandy exclaimed pushing past Mike and the unknown swat team member entering the dull room.

"Kirsten!" he yelled.

He looked all around the main room before going to the first bedroom where he looked under the bed, in the wardrobe and everything in the small space.

"Kirsten!"

He moved to the second room and repeated the same haphazard searching process.

"Kirsten!"

Then he moved to the last room.

The room that was hers.

When he opened the door he was shocked at the darkness that shrouded the room. Unable to control his eyes, his vision fell to the crumpled and dishevelled bed. The blood that covered it smeared and speckled the greying sheets and dried blood decorated the material that could only be classified as a pillow.

It was pure horror.

Was Sandy trapped in a horror movie and he had just come into the victim's room after they had been murdered and their body was stuffed under the bed?

His eyes hesitantly looked to the floor.

Slowly he descended to the floor and he fought his imagination to make it stop putting such unpleasant thoughts in his mind.

Kneeling, Sandy took several deep breaths to calm his breathing just Kirsten had taught him on many occasions but he couldn't think of one specific time.

In through the nose and out through the mouth.

Breathe in one . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . five . . . six.

Breathe out one . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . five . . . six

He looked under the bed.

Nothing.

Not a dead body.

Thank whatever deity was looking down on him.

Then he suddenly became aware of something beneath his hand.

Looking down he picked up the foreign substance and looked at it in what lighting he had at his disposal. After several seconds he knew what it was.

Hair.

Blonde hair.

Kirsten he thought.

Sandy stood up sharply and ran out of the room.

If she wasn't in the room she had to be somewhere.

"Kirsten!" he yelled.

"Sandy!" he could barely hear from a distance. It was almost a squeak and he had to convince himself that he had heard right.

"Kirsten?"

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**I couldn't help but update this so quickly because I'm likely it at the minute. Hope you liked it.**


	13. Eureka!

**I know you all were under the false apprehension that Kirsten was returning but na na na na na hehehe fooled you hehe. I'm so evil lol but thank you all again for your reviews. You all rock!**

**Disclaimer – I don't own any OC character.

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Bill and Gary tried to manoeuvre through the tall grass that camouflaged their appearance from the roaming police officers. They had a beautiful broken princess in their hands and they were not about to give her up now and certainly not to the pigs that crawled haphazardly around their motel room.

Gary pushed Kirsten ahead of him as they slowly made their way past each blade of thick grass but his repeated shoves did not help in the slightest. With Bill ahead of her, she didn't want to stumble and fall into him because she knew what would come from him.

Punishment.

That was the last thing she needed because that morning they had held her tightly in their grasp as they carelessly cut her hair. Gary snipped at any angle he wanted to, not caring about her perfectly layered crown that used to sit perched upon her head. After he felt like he had taken off as much of her locks as he wanted, he blatantly dumped the remainson the dank floor of her room.

Looking down as she moved, Kirsten couldn't help resist but take one last glimpse of Sandy who still had his eyes looking in her direction endlessly searching the fingers of grass for any disturbance. But as her eyes attached themselves to her husband, she didn't notice the small boulder in her path and before she knew it she stumbled over it causing her to fall to the dusty ground below letting out a whimper of pain.

"Shit!" Gary whispered faintly as he hunched over her tightly clasping his hand over her mouth to prevent her from saying anything or letting her slightness movement disturb the pasture further.

Sandy had whirled around and was staring curiously at their spot.

Bill had ducked down as well being as still as a statue and was looking back at Kirsten with a look that conveyed the pure sinister emotions that assimilated every fibre of his being quoting 'Bitch' repeatedly in his mind.

Kirsten tried to keep her breathing in check but the thought of Sandy edging ever closer to her made her tense with fright. Not for the fact that she might be going home but because of the fact that she had the hand of a very strong man clamped over her mouth and he could break her neck with one movement if he wanted to.

"Stay perfectly still," he whispered into her ear.

She complied immediately and told her body her to shut down practically with only to admittance of breathing to be the only movement it does.

Through the thin brush she could see Sandy moving ever closer to them but suddenly a screeching sound interrupted the silence that was only permeated by the soft thudding of her heartbeat. The traffic did not exist to her. Only the seconds that ticked by which her heart counted were what she was aware of.

Sandy jumped at the sound of his mobile ringing. Fumbling frustrated in his pocket he managed to free his mobile from the twisted material.

"Hello?"

"Dad? Have you found her?" Seth blurted immediately.

"No . . . not yet son."

"Why not?"

"Because they weren't in the motel room they were said to be in and the officers are looking all around now . . . they're doing the best they can."

"That's not good enough!" Seth yelled.

"Seth!" Sandy warned.

On the other end of the phone, Seth let out a breath of exasperation. He desperately wanted his mother back. Ever since he was a small child he remembered that he used to think that demons hid underneath his bed and he needed his mother to check every possible cowering place of these evil shadows before he would even clamber into bed. Seth had pestered her to check everywhere more than once and yet she persisted. Just at that thought, he considered his mother.

What about her demons?

What demons will she bring back with her?

Will she have nightmares?

Will her room have to checked for shadows?

Would her abduction change his mother permanently?

Of course it would have changed her because she had been separated from his father and he knew from a young age that his parents were still deeply in love. Also he didn't want to think of what his mother might have had to endure in the eight months that she's absent.

All Seth knew was that he wanted his beloved mother back because he had realised that he had taken her for granted because someone had once asked him what he knew about mothers and he answered, 'they're always around'.

How naïve I was, Seth thought, mom please come home. I need you to make everything better; I need to know you are ok. I need to see you again.

"Seth?" he heard his name from down the phone.

"Uh yeh, yeh?"

"You ok?"

"Yeh, just thinking . . . thinking that I want mom back."

"I know son me too, I do too."

"But I want her back now!"

" . . . . I know. She's somewhere here I know it, I can feel it," Sandy murmured.

"I hope so."

"Me too son, me too."

"Well, I better go, the Nana has made lunch and you know how she gets if you're late."

"I do."

"So call if you hear anything and the second you find her I want a call or at least a carrier pigeon landing in the backyard and I'll be watching," Seth mumbled.

"Of course. Say 'hi' to Ryan and the Nana."

"Hi to Ryan and the Nana."

"Very funny smart ass . . . I'll keep you informed son."

"Bye dad."

"Bye," and with that Sandy disconnected his call.

His thoughts remained on Seth and his last few lines. His sarcastic remarks. Sandy knew that his son inherited his sarcastic streak from him but his temperament had elements of Kirsten scrambled in with his influence.

"God Kirsten where are you?" he whispered out loud to no one in particular.

In the depths of the long grass Kirsten was bursting out of her skin wanting to jump up and scream 'I'm here' however the increasing grip of Gary told her otherwise so she was forced to remain still.

But when Sandy peered away from their location, Bill grabbed her wrist tightly and pulled her behindhim followed closely by Gary making sure she doesn't slip up again.

Sandy, she thought to herself and incorporeally blew him a kiss as she was dragged away.

* * *

They had moved a considerable distance away from the sleazy motel they had called 'home' and had reached an embankment just above a local road.

"Come on, this way," Bill ordered.

But after her ordeal that morning and the shear drainage she experienced, Kirsten was merely a bag of bones with little energy to speak off under the hot Californian sun. All she wanted to do was drop to the ground below and curl up whilst letting the dry soil soak up her blood and sweat.

"Move!" Gary barked.

Her body wanted to comply but she remained still looking down at the landscape below and beyond.

"That's it," one of them breathed exasperatedly before wrapping their arms around her waist from behind.

Something inside Kirsten snapped. Images of everything that she ever held dear flashed in front of her eyes like leaves from a book fluttering all at once.

"Get your hands off me!" she screamed as she struggled against him.

Bill bolted back to them and tried to restrain Kirsten but she was having none of it and she flailed all of her limbs. Gary leaned back in an attempt to hold her but as she went back; her legs came up and kicked Bill under the jaw causing him to fall backwards to the ground. Then, Kirsten forced her own feet to the ground and with her new found strength broke free of Gary's grasp, swinging around a punching him square on the face where instantly he stumbled in reverse clutching at his face tripping over a boulder behind him.

She used this distraction to good use. Looking around frantically, she searched for a way to escape and then she spied the embankment below and she took in a deep breath and stepped forward.

The ground broke away from her feet as she descended down the steep hill and as a result she stumbled and slid away from her captors. Then, she tumbled down and rolled continuously until she came to the flat land at the base of the incline.

Dust covered her entire body, but she lifted her broken body up off the ground and lightly brushed herself off before looking back up the hill for any sign of Bill or Gary pursuing her.

There was no sign of them.

So she ran.

She ran.

She ran along the road back into the town or city she had been captive in forthe period of time of which she had no idea how long it expanded.

Where am I going? She thought as one foot was placed in front of the other in quick succession and as each breath entered and left her body.

To the police?

Back to the motel?

Will Sandy still be there?

Questions circled in her mind as she ran.

She changed every breath from oxygen into carbon dioxide.

But her energy was slowly waning.

Kirsten occasionally looked behind out of paranoia to check that there was no man chasing after her.

There never was.

Then a word suddenly entered into her mind.

Free.

She was free from her captors.

Free from Bill and Gary.

Free to go home.

Home.

Newport.

Her family.

Sandy.

Seth.

Ryan.

Scarlett.

Newport here she comes.

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**I know that was a bit of a short update but I wanted to update it and give some information before some drama :D. Rock on.**


	14. Moving On

**Thank you all again for your wonderful and inspirational reviews and I love each and everyone I receive. As always, thank you.**

**Disclaimer – I only own Scarlett.

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Heartbroken and tired, Sandy lay sprawled out uncaringly across the couch in the living room, with his arm covering his eyes. He didn't want light to enter his eyes as Kirsten was the only light in his life and she still hadn't been returned to his life.

That day.

That day was almost two weeks ago.

Give or take a day.

He didn't care anymore.

Sandy thought about the moment of pure intensity as the swat team banged down the door and he just wanted the paramedics to rush in and the next thing he would know would be that she was on a stretcher being wheeled to an ambulance where she would be whisked off to a nearby facility to get treated.

But there was no stretcher.

No ambulance.

No Kirsten.

_No_ Kirsten.

No _Kirsten_.

Yet, in his mind he continuously replayed his imaginative reunion with his beloved wife. As he held the silken cushion to himself, he remembered how her frail body felt against his skin. He recalled how every bone protruded from her small frame and how her skin was gaunt and withdrawn. In his mind he didn't see his usual, bubbly and gorgeous Kirsten but merely saw her shadow who was a small, reserved and skeletal.

He shifted himself onto his side on the couch and readjusted his head on the pillow beneath but suddenly the expanse before him wasn't the rest of the vast living room. However, he was in his bedroom with a bed before him.

Before him was his pregnant wife.

_Instinctively he reached forward and rested his hand on her bulging stomach._

"_Not long now," she whispered as she placed her hand on top of his._

"_No it isn't," he smiled back._

"_This family has changed so much recently . . . first it was the three of us, you, me and Seth and then there were four of us when we welcomed Ryan into the family and pretty soon it will be five."_

"_Yeh . . . we're gonna be outnumbered."_

_Kirsten giggled at his comment and he could feel her laugh reverberate through her stomach to which the young unborn infant inside her grew kicked._

"_Hey hey, calm down there kiddo, your mommy would like to not have her insides kicked out before you're born," then he leaned down to her abdomen, "but once you're out you can kick the outside as much as you like."_

"_I heard that," Kirsten replied._

"_Opps, mommy heard that, daddy's in trouble so I better go here kiddo and make it up to her," and with that he lightly kissed her exposed skin before lying back up alongside Kirsten, "I'm sowry," he pouted childishly._

_Kirsten tried to suppress her laughter however she couldn't help but let a smile spread across her porcelain features._

"_You're forgiven."_

"_Glad to hear it," he cooed as he leaned forward to steal a kiss._

_To their surprise, their unborn miracle child let them have the stolen kiss without it doing whatever gymnastic movement it could possibly do in its confined space causing Kirsten to get nausea._

"_I can't wait till the baby's born," Sandy whispered as his nose grazed hers._

"_Me either . . ."_

"_Honey?"_

_Kirsten stared blankly into space._

"_Kirsten?"_

_He gently jostled her arm._

"_Huh?"_

"_Honey, you ok? You seemed a little distracted by something"_

"_Oh . . . it's nothing," she smiled bravely._

"_It's something I know it, what is it?"_

"_It's just . . ." she began but didn't continue._

"_What?"_

"_I just . . . I don't think that this birth will go well, I can feel like. I mean, Seth's had a little bump but everything was fine . . . but I've a feeling that something will go wrong," Kirsten confessed placing both hands on her enlarged stomach._

"_Honey, you mustn't think like that."_

"_I know . . . but Sandy promise me something . . ." _

_Sandy nodded reluctantly._

"_I will."_

"_When it's time for this baby to be born and something goes wrong . . . I want you to order the doctors to make sure the baby is fine and that they are not to worry about me . . . ok?"_

"_Kirsten-"_

"_Sandy – this baby is a miracle and I will not let anything happen to him or her . . . if something does go wrong, and I mean if something goes wrong, I need you to make sure our baby survives regardless of me . . . please Sandy promise me."_

_Her husband looked down at their inter-locked legs and she saw him hold onto his wedding bands._

"_If it's my time to go, then it's my time . . . you know I would do anything for our children and to die to bring our child into the world is something I would do in a heartbeat and I know that may be selfish of me to leave you with three kids but . . . you have to understand that I need you to put the baby first," she whispered._

_She was asking him to let her die for the sake of their marvel child be it a daughter or a son. All she cared about was their unborn child's health._

_That is such a Kirsten thing, he thought, so selfless, so brave, so her._

_But if the worst came to the worst would he actually be brave enough himself to order the medical team around her to save the baby rather than make sure the mother of the baby was in was going to live. She was asking him to abandon her for their infant._

"_Ok . . . I promise," he muttered as he knitted his fingers into hers._

"_Thank you."_

"_But I sincerely hope you don't have any reservations made in Heaven."_

"_Don't worry, I don't . . . but if the worst does happen, for example I d- . . . you know, don't make it . . . I don't want you to mourn me, I don't to see a frown on your face when I look at you from up above, I don't want you to shed a tear for me."_

"_Ok, I'll shed a million."_

"_Sandy."_

"_I mean it Kirsten, I will flood this planet with my tears for you . . . you are so precious to me and I will cry for you but if it's what you want, I won't mourn."_

"_Good . . .I want you to celebrate . . . celebrate my life and not that I'm dead because I can just see the cogs turning in your head Mr. Cohen," she reprimanded._

"_I will . . . I love you," he whispered._

"_I love you too."_

_Gently, he managed to drape his arm over past her head where she lifted up her head to let his arm cover over her shoulder as he moved closer to her placing his hand on her abdomen._

"_So, name," Kirsten began._

"_Oh I don't think I'm up to challenging you to a Name Down right now," he laughed._

"_A Name Down?"_

"_Yeh . . . kinda like a Ho-Down but a Name Down, lame I know but hey, smart."_

"_Oooh yeh but you know I'll win . . . . wait scratch that, I don't win because Seth was your idea/"_

"_Yes baby it was," Sandy smiled._

"_Don't look so smug because like it or not I'm going to choose the name of this baby," she grinned in return._

The soft thudding of approaching shoes on the floor alerted him back to the present and the image of his wife was replaced by the expanse of the living room where his mother entered.

"You still moping?" she asked instantly.

Sandy didn't answer.

"Sanford?"

His attention was still fixed straight ahead.

Sophie moved towards her immobile son stopping directly in front of his line of sight with her hands placed firmly of her hips.

"Sanford," she repeated.

"What?" he coughed neutrally.

"Are you still sulking?"

His eyes rolled up towards his towering mother.

"Of course I am."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"You heard me, why?"

"Cause."

"That isn't a reason."

"Ok, be-cause."

"Sanford!"

"What!" he said more forcefully as he pushed himself up to sitting whilst swinging his legs over the edge of the couch to the floor and peering up at his mother angrily.

"Why are you sulking?" she repeated.

"Why? You want to know why?"

"Yes, I do."

"Ma, isn't it obvious to it?"

She didn't reply.

"Well it should be obvious to you," he replied.

"Kirsten," Sophie whispered trying to hide the vengefulness in her voice.

"Kirsten," he repeated, "Ma, you should know by now how completely devoted I am to her, how completely in love I am with her. You should know that because not even your hatred for her or Caleb's hatred for me was strong enough to separate us . . . her safety and health and happiness has been my number one priority ever since I met her and for the last almost nine months now, I've been obsessed of having her back home with me and our children . . . we were so close to finding her . . . so close. . . and she wasn't there, why wasn't she there!" he yelled looking at the ceiling and he stood running his fingers through his hair.

"She wasn't there, because she wasn't there Sandy."

"No."

Sandy's memory of walking through each individual room of the motel flashed before his eyes.

He saw his hand holding her discarded hair.

Her hair falling through his fingers.

He remembered the numerous times that his fingers had trailed themselves through that silken halo.

The dried stains of the bed linen.

"You don't understand," Sandy began, "when I was in that motel room . . . I knew that she had been there, I just knew, I had this gut feeling but then . . . but then I went into the room which I guess had held her and . . . and her hair was on the floor . . . and it was dark . . . and on the bed, her blood was dried into the cloth . . . I try not to think about what could've caused those blood stains and if I close my eyes I can see the outline of every mark and I can hear her voice pleading . . . and I imagined seeing her, I could feel her as I held her in my arms, I was talking to her . . . but it was all an hallucination."

"Well then isn't that more reasons to give up on her?"

"What?"

"Sandy, if you say her blood was there and she wasn't and her kidnappers weren't and she wasn't found around the area then it's probably most likely that she's dead."

Dead.

Someone has actually said that word.

That single word that could change his entire disposition and outlook in the time it took for his heart to thud just once.

Dead.

Dead.

That word was classified in the dictionary as 'Without life; deceased; perfectly still; dull; cold; tasteless; spiritless; utter; unerring.'

Without life.

Deceased.

Perfectly still.

Those smattering of words, no matter what, could not help Sandy envision Kirsten's lifeless body lying on a cold coroner's table with a white cloth covering her blue flushed skin.

Those thoughts sent shivers coursing through his being.

"What do you mean? Give up?" Sandy asked as his voice quivered.

"You know what I mean . . . let her go . . . move on. Kirsten has been gone for almost nine months as you said and I know that in cases of abduction which last more than a few months there may be a return but with her length of time then the likely hood that they'll return her is so small and I don't want you to live your life thinking of Kirsten out there."

"But that's my choice!"

"But Sandy, would moping around for the rest of your life be what Kirsten would want?" she asked.

'_I don't want you to mourn me, I don't to see a frown on your face when I look at you from up above, I don't want you to shed a tear for me' she whispered._

"No, it's not."

"So don't you think it's time to let Kirsten go and not to harm Scarlett with the possibility that her mother will come home?"

He thought,

And thought.

And thought,

Should he let Kirsten go?

Should he let the mother of his children go?

Should he let his wife go?

Should he let her rest in peace?

The questions circled in his.

And circled.

He thought.

Re-evaluated everything logically.

Systematically.

Spiritually.

"You're right," he answered.


	15. Petals of Memories

**Ok my mock exams are over and here is the new updated chapter. And just want to settle you – I know what I'm doing with this fic and bear with me cuz a lot of people were wondering if I've forgotten about Kirsten. You all rock and I love you all and this for Ally! And I hope that Claire likes it :p. Take care and keep writing and dancing :p.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own any OC character. I only own Scarlett.

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Sandy stood statuesque in front of the mirror as he took in his appearance. The cold and dramatic black clothing that was grudgingly placed upon his body reflected the deed that he prayed that he would never have to do.

Say goodbye to his beloved Kirsten.

Today was the day.

Today is the day.

Today will be the day that the Cohens and Nichols bid their farewells to their adored matriarch Kirsten.

The treasured mother, sister, daughter and deeply loved wife.

His fingers found their way to his tie and he casually yet irritably straighten the material until it was aligned perfectly with the top button of his shirt. When the tie wouldn't get into position, Sandy slammed his fists angrily on the counter before him, grunting his anger as he lowered his head in a melancholy tone.

_Slowly he looked back up at his reflection and in the glass he could see another set of fingers snake their way from behind his neck and professionally fiddle with the black tie. He could see the artificial light of the room bounce off her rings that he knew were permanently wielded to her finger then once the hands had arranged his tie, Kirsten's head popped out from behind him and rested itself on his shoulder as she began to caress his shoulders._

"_No matter how many black tie events we go to you still suck at tying a tie," she joked softly._

"_Yeh I know . . . or else I pretend to suck so your expert training in the art of tie tying with save me from looking embarrassed," he replied taking her hands._

"_Really? So you suck at tying your own tie yet but wait . . . you were a pretty damn good teacher with Ryan."_

"_Ah but you taught Seth."_

"_That's because you couldn't."_

"_My point exactly."_

_Kirsten couldn't help but let a smile grace her porcelain face at Sandy's use of his double tongued lingo and Sandy couldn't help but place a kiss upon her cheek._

"_Do we have to go to this?" Sandy asked as he turned around and placed his hands seductively on her hips before kissing her teasingly._

"Do I have to do this?" Sandy asked himself as the memory disappeared from the mirror into the deep recesses of his memory.

No matter how deep he buried a memory, thousands more would come forward as he had twenty one years worth of memories with Kirsten and it wasn't easy to flick off a switch when it came to remembering his beautiful bride.

When he met her, Sandy knew that she would be his cherished princess even though he didn't know she was the Princess of Newport Beach. All he knew was that her name was Kirsten and that 'Cohen' would fit perfectly after it.

"Oh god Kirsten," he prayed begging the tears not to fall.

"Sandy?"

Not now, not now he thought.

"Sandy? Where are you?"

"In here Ma," he replied without moving.

Before he knew it his mother was standing at the threshold holding Scarlett in her arms and both were dressed for mourning.

Mourning.

That wasn't the right word.

"Hey baby girl," Sandy whispered as he took his daughter from Sophie before stroking her cherub cheek with his finger.

"You ready?"

"No."

'I can never be ready' he added in his mind.

"Well the boys are waiting by the door with the girls, Julie and Kirsten's father and Hailey are here too, we're just waiting on you," she reported.

"Could you just give me a minute please and I'll be out?"

"Sure, would you like me to take-?"

"No, no it's ok, I'll take her, don't worry I'll be out soon."

"Ok," Sophie added before leaving to join the rest of the family.

Sandy looked down at his daughter who was clutching a large daisy in her small hand.

"What you got there huh?" he asked childishly as he toyed with the flower.

"Daisy," Scarlett replied holding the white blossom up to his nose.

"That's right a daisy."

That was another monumental and pivotal occasion that his wife had missed. Kirsten had missed the day that Scarlett would start speaking. He remembered when Seth started to speak, Kirsten was over the moon and she spent the rest of the day trying to get their infant to say other words. When Scarlett proudly announced her first word, Sandy needed Kirsten to be there to share it with him and he needed to see her crouching down on the floor coaxing Red to speak more.

Sandy remembered seeing Scarlett walking over to him one day in the family room while he and Seth were watching 'Greenmail' on tv and she came up to them with a picture of Kirsten and she burst out saying 'Mama'. He and Seth had jumped up immediately and stared at the young child holding the smiling picture of the woman who had missing from her life. It tore at Sandy's heart to see that Kirsten was the first thing to come from their daughter's mouth.

Saying an internal prayer he hitched up Scarlett and walked out of the room where he walked to the foyer in front of the large door to take the limo down to the beach.

Within twenty minutes the family with their 2 invited guests stood under the Californian sun and bathed in the tranquillity of the weather that blessed their day. The weather was a direct contradiction of their internal and external strife. Sandy was trying to be strong for his sons but Seth and Ryan both knew that Sandy had been crippled by her disappearance and his broken soul hadn't been rebuilt even in the slightest bit since then.

Summer clutched comfortingly to Seth whose eyes had refused to remove themselves from the tiny grains of sand below him. Summer was trying to be there for Seth for she knew how much Seth loved his mother even though he had never voiced it to her. She looked out at the waves that flowed towards them.

Marissa was standing next to Ryan offering a comforting arm around his shoulder. She had stood by and watched Ryan crumble and withdraw further into himself. Marissa looked at the line that had assembled along the water's edge and say that everyone along with herself was clutching at a single flower that they thought represented Kirsten.

The memorial service was strictly to be a family ordeal and seeing as Marissa was her step-sister and Summer was practically family through Seth, it was only natural that they would be present.

They stood in silence with the swirls of the water before them only to break the deafening sound.

"Would someone like to say something about Kirsten?" Julie said softy.

"I'll go," Caleb replied.

Everyone turned their heads towards Kirsten's father.

"I know I haven't been the greatest father to Kirsten as I repeatedly missed her ballet recitals and her flute recitals - often using work as an excuse. I even missed her wedding because of work and I regret that most of all because I didn't get to walk my beautiful daughter down the aisle. But the second that Kirsten was born I remember feeling such overwhelming pride and love for her that I knew that I would never want to let her out of my sight ever but I did. I did. I let her out of my sight when she would come up to me with a drawing she did or a poster for her ballet and I would take it from her and set it aside without even looking at it but I took it for granted that she was always there. My strongest memory of Kirsten is . . . is when I held her for the very first time . . . shortly after she was born . . . and she looked up at me with her blue eyes and her little fingers grabbed my tie, I knew that she was the greatest thing to happen to me, she is the greatest thing along with her sister Hailey. And as she grew, I was continually impressed by her . . . and I remember chasing her in the backyard when she was two and I hoisted her up onto the shoulders and she yelled out, 'Daddy, daddy I'm flying. Mommy look I'm flying!' and the smile on her face was of pure bliss and the only time that I've seen that smile replicated was when she was with Sandy. Kirsten once said to me that all she wanted was for me to be proud of her . . . and I had the opportune moment to say so, numerous times and I am regretting not taking the time to say how much I loved her and to say how proud I am of her. I wish I'd taken the time and the gift that she gave us was that we are all strong and no matter what, she loved us for who we are."

Slowly he stepped backwards with a tear trickling down his face with his shaking hand holding onto a white lily which he used to hang over her crib when she was a baby.

"I know that all I caused Kirsten was anger, worry and I guess resentment because I was the baby in the family," Hailey began, "but the truth is that I idolised my sister and I wanted to be like her so much but no matter how hard I tried to be her, the harder I failed and for years she constantly worried about the kind of trouble that I continually got myself into and no matter what, she was always there to help me but along with it came a lecture. But I now realise that those lectures weren't to annoy me but to teach me something and to communicate her love for me and her protective nature. I remember once, when she came home from Berkeley . . . I had fallen on the driveway and I had cut my leg, Kirsten carried me back into the house and mom and dad were away that weekend and Kirsten sat with me the entire day to make sure I was ok and to cheer me up, even though it meant that she wouldn't get to see Sandy. . . Whenever I was upset, Kirsten used to put on this voice that would instantly cheer me up . . . but now I'm upset and she's not here to put on that voice to cheer me up. Kirsten is . . . Kirsten's the best sister that anyone could wish for and I wish that I had realised that sooner and the next thing I knew was that she was gone. Kirsten just isn't my sister . . . she's my – my idol and the best person in the world. She's a fantastic mother to three beautiful children, a wonderful wife and the best sister in the universe to an annoying baby sister. I'm gonna miss you Kiks."

Hailey took her place again beside her father clutching at the single jasmine flower that signified her jealousy of her talented sister.

A silence descended upon the gathered family.

"When – when I first met Kirsten she had a protective shield around her – and she was very defensive . . . not because I was a stranger but because she had a son she wanted to protect," Ryan started, "But as I began to spend more time with the family, she began to trust me and she's like me I realise, in the respect that we don't let people in easily and – and it took Kirsten a while to trust me and I knew from the very beginning that she was just trying to protect Seth . . . But when she and Sandy became my legal guardians, I was dumbfounded because my family friends from my neighbourhood wouldn't have done something like that whereas Kirsten and Sandy did without batting an eyelid so to speak . . . and just hearing what Hailey said, she said three children and immediately I didn't think who they were because there is only Seth and Scarlett but when three came out I knew she was referring to me too and that was something that Kirsten tried to make me feel like . . . to make feel like her son. Kirsten was everything a mother should be . . . loving, dedicated, fair with discipline and protective . . . and I am so proud to – to be a member of this family . . . and I'm just going to miss her so much. I love you Kirsten."

Marissa tightened her grip around Ryan and whispered comforting words in his ear.

Ryan held a small sunflower in his hands which he believed to show his adoration for Kirsten and his pride in knowing her. He chose the sunflower for that reason and he knew that Kirsten wouldn't have wanted a dull flower so he thought that a bright yellow bloom would make her smile wherever she was.

The other people assembled, rehearsed over in their head what they were going to say in remembrance of Kirsten Cohen.

"She's my mom . . . my mom who would kiss my cuts better when I was little . . . my mom who would tuck me into bed no matter how busy she was . . . my mom who would look in on me as I slept to make sure I was ok, thinking that I didn't know she was there when I did . . . but in the first few months after her ab – ab - abduction I looked into her bedroom to check if she was sleeping soundly but as I stood there I realised that she wasn't there . . . my mom isn't here . . . she isn't here to watch my baby sister grow up, she wasn't here to see Ryan and me graduate . . . my mom's not here to make me wanna puke when she kisses dad . . . she's not here so we can make fun of her lack of culinary skills and she's not here to protect me . . . and . . . she's not dead . . . she can't be . . . she's The Kirsten! And I won't believe that she's gone no matter what," Seth said in a train of emotional words before turning and walking back up the beach.

"I just want my mom back," he finished.

"Seth," Summer called after him.

He didn't respond and clutched desperately to the flower clamped between his fingers. The flower he held symbolized that he would not forget his mother as he clutched the baby blue and lilac forget-me-not to his heart and inhaled its scent. Nothing would ever replace the memories he held of his treasured mom and no one no-matter how they tried could understand the pain he felt. He was a little boy who had been striped of his mother before his time and he didn't want to believe that she was gone from him forever. Seth knew that no matter what, Kirsten was always there for him when he needed a cuddle but now she wasn't. He held onto the hope that she would return just as he held onto the teddy bear that she had bought him when he was born.

He loved her.

He loved her only as a son could love his mother,

"Seth!" Summer tried again but Sandy motioned to her that it was ok for her to follow him to which she ran over the sand to Seth.

Sandy spoke next.

He held two flowers in his hand.

One was a single red rose and the other was a single zinnia.

The rose represented his passionate love for his beautiful and immortal wife whereas the zinnia reflected his daily thoughts of her and even though she may be far away, he is thinking of her constantly.

"Umm . . . I don't really know what to say that will sum up what a tremendous loss I feel when Kirsten comes to mind. But – but whenever I think of her, the first thing that comes to mind – is her smile . . . the smile that can light up the world no matter how dull or dreary the day may be and when Scarlett was born . . . we thought that we could lose Kirsten . . . we actually thought that we'd have to move on and get on with life without her and have three men raise a baby girl but . . . but she fought back just like a Nichol would."

Sandy didn't know how he was going to be able to fight back the tears that forcefully were trying to push their way out of his eyes.

"I feel like I am the luckiest man ever to be married to her because she is beautiful, intelligent, classical, amazing and she has a personality to die for . . . and she gave me the greatest things in life . . . she gave me love, care, affection, protection against the bad of the world and she gave me our children, Seth, Ryan and Scarlett. They are our pride and joy – all three of them . . . and I just hate that two men would randomly take her from her loving family for ten months! They have forbidden her to see the most pivotal moments of our children's lives. Ryan and Seth graduated from high school recently and Scarlett began to walk and talk all without Kirsten being present and that's not right. All of my memories of Kirsten are too precious and I can't just pick one that sticks out in my head . . . but one fact does . . . she is my wife and will be for now and forever, she is the mother of my children and I will never forget her and finally I won't say goodbye to see . . . she's not gone, so I'll see her later," Sandy stopped.

Nobody else was volunteering to say other words in memory of Kirsten and they remained in silence for several minutes as they waited for someone to share something.

Each minute went by.

Every memory that was made with Kirsten flooded through their minds.

No one else was going to speak.

"No one else?" someone asked.

Silence was the answer.

Quietly and solemnly, Sandy and Scarlett stepped forward.

They each had in hand their flower and together as father and daughter, hand in hand they stepped towards the water.

Without hesitation, they mutually stepped into the water and waded a few paces in and Sandy kept a firm grip on Scarlett's hand.

Slowly and delicately, they set their respective flower into the rippling water and watched as it floated.

Caleb and Hailey did the same thing placing the white lily and jasmine flowers onto the surface on the water carefully.

Julie, Marissa and Ryan followed setting an orchid, Flower-of-an-hour and the sunflower. Julie's orchid shows that she believed that Kirsten had a refined beauty and delicateness and in recent years Julie had become frighteningly aware of that beauty and after the birth of her step-grandchild she saw first hand the delicateness that plagued Kirsten at the same time Marissa's signified a delicate beauty that Kirsten held.

Sandy looked down at the single white daisy that floated in the water which reflected the innocence of the child that placed it there and the innocence that Kirsten possessed when she was abducted. Kirsten had told Sandy that when she was younger, her favourite flower had been the daisy and during the summer she would sit in the garden and pick every daisy so that she could make a daisy chain to drape around her neck. After she had told him this, on their next date he had presented her a bouquet of large daisies and the smile that was spread on her face when she saw them was all he needed and he made it a tradition that on her birthday he would present her with a single daisy.

Finally the Nana walked forward to the water and carefully placed the pink carnation in the water to show that she will not forget Kirsten even though she had spent her son's entire marriage trying to forget that Kirsten existed but it was hard to when the woman had given her three grandchildren that she loved dearly.

All of the flowers hung in suspense over the waters surface.

Every petal moved with each underlying rippled.

"I love you mommy," Scarlett said.

Everyone looked at the infant who had barely known her mother.

Everyone was stunned to hear that she was saying that she loved her mother.

Everyone knew then that Scarlett knew more than she let on.

"I love you," everyone said unison before turning and heading back up the beach.

Sandy and Scarlett remained behind for a moment to watch the nine different flowers hover peacefully on the water.

"See you later . . . my love."

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**Who hates me now? Hope you had some Kleenex on stand-by before reading hehe. Let me know what you think, good, bad or rage driven I would love to hear. Rock on.**


	16. Four Words From A Mother

**Thank you to everyone again who reviewed. And I just want to reiterate that you should trust me and let me write this at my own pace please and to let me write what I want. Ok well here is the new update as Friday and Saturday nights are now occupied with another passion. **

**Disclaimer – I don't own any OC character. Only Scarlett

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The house to this broken young boy had been devoid of any female attention as for months on end the dishes were left unattended in the kitchen sink where for all they knew tiny animals could have grown with all the grime left there.

But that all changed with The Nana arrived.

Like a thunder storm she swept through the house creating a certain path in her wake but in this case it wasn't a path of destruction but of cleanliness. Every doily was perfectly and mathematically arranged in its place, the cushions on the couches were flawlessly angled and every piece of cutlery shone with precision.

But his grandmother wasn't just cleaning the house.

She was erasing every trace of his mother just as easily as she would sweep away a speck of dust. His mother's apron, which Kirsten rarely dawned, was now Sophie's and that wasn't right because a lot of insults had been imprinted on that apron and now because his grandmother was wearing it, were now erased.

It wasn't right.

His mother was still his mother.

Seth knew that he was having difficulty accepting the situation.

Not the fact that his mother had been abducted but the fact that the family that loved her so passionately had given up and said their goodbyes to her when they don't even have proof that she was dead.

He had often dreamt about finding her body.

Her dead body.

And that didn't appeal to him one bit.

Once he had dreamt that a real life Captain Oats had taken him on his back to the backyard of their house in Berkeley and next to the tree that his parents had planted when he was born, there lay his mother's dead body. Her skin was flushed blue and her lip was broken with a scab forming over the cut. In his dream he wanted to reach out into her chest and force her heart to start beating again just like Neo did in The Matrix Reloaded when Trinity died. Seth desperately wanted to save her but when he went to reach out his hand went through her and she disappeared and he woke up screaming 'mom!'

They had said their goodbyes to his mother but he simply couldn't.

Seth was sitting on his bed cross legged and looking nostalgically through photo albums. He peered intently at the pictures of his mother, savouring every smile that she gave the camera. In every frame she looked so natural. Nothing was forced and a smile just seemed to naturally grace her face.

He turned over the page and in gold writing was written 'Chrismukkah'.

There was his mother in a beautiful black dress that highlighted her blonde hair immaculately at the Chrismukkah party that they held as a way to salvage what was left of that year after the truth about Lindsay was revealed. It was a Boxing Day Party.

She had missed Chrismukkah.

It had dawned on him that his mother had missed Chrismukkah.

The time of year for family and she missed it.

Then he wondered whether or not they had a Chrismukkah.

Seth couldn't honestly remember.

All he knew what that it was quickly approaching the one year anniversary of her disappearance and shortly after that it would be Chrismukkah. The second Chrismukkah that she would miss. But in his head, Seth remembered everything that Kirsten had missed – Thanksgiving, Chrismukkah, New Year's, their anniversary, Valentine's Day, Scarlett's first birthday, Passover, Sandy's birthday, Seth's birthday, Ryan's birthday, Caleb's birthday and now she was going to miss her own birthday. And if she didn't return, she would miss that all over again.

His mother never missed Valentine's as she thrived on it.

But just as he looked down at the photographs of his mother that forever captured her in time, he wanted nothing more but to dive into the photograph and revisit that moment just so that he could be with her again.

For Chrismukkah he prayed that she would be delivered back to them safely but on the day of many presents, there was no Kirsten.

Before Seth could resume his forever dwelling of his mother, a knock on his bedroom door disturbed his deep thoughts so quickly he closed over the album and threw it under his pillow before laying his head down on it so that he faced away from the aisle that lead from the door. And also so that he could look at his favourite photograph of his mother that he had propped up on his other bedside table in a simple black frame.

"Seth?" his father asked as he slowly stepped his way into his room.

The boy didn't answer.

"Are you all right?" Sandy tried unsuccessfully.

Again, his son didn't answer.

"I know you're upset . . . we all are."

Silence.

"Seth . . ."

Nothing.

"Seth please say something."

"Something . . . There. You happy?" Seth spat.

"Seth-"

"That's my name . . . Seth Cohen, son of Sandy and Kir- wait that's wrong there is no Kirsten Cohen . . . her family say she's dead."

"Seth!" Sandy warned.

"What!" he asked harshly while spinning around to sitting.

"Don't you think this is hard on all of us? I miss your mother too, more than you can imagine but there is nothing I can do to bring her back . . . if I could snap my fingers and make her appear in this room I would but I can't, that's life . . . sometimes bad things happen and you can't do anything about it."

"Why not! Why can't people search for her? I'm not starting university for a few weeks yet and I couldn't before because I couldn't miss school. Come on dad! Everyone is saying how they are holding out hope and yet there you all were saying your goodbyes to her when she's not even dead . . . we don't have any proof and you keep going on about having this link with mom and you know when she's ok and when she's not. . . and yet you said goodbye . . . this isn't like when she had problems with delivering Scarlett and you wouldn't tell us anything and said continuously that she'd be fine – this isn't the same."

"How do you know Seth?"

"Because . . . because she's The Kirsten, she's a Nichol . . . she's a Cohen . . . she's a WASP and that should be enough for anyone to believe that she's alive . . . because for all we know, she's out there somewhere – injured or something and trying to make her way back here . . . she could be alive."

"But she could also be dead."

"I can't believe you are even saying that! I can't believe you're even thinking that! All the energy and time you put into finding mom, arguing with people who said she was dead, telling me and Ryan to have hope and believe that she's alive when you don't even believe yourself," Seth said, "you're a hypocrite."

His son's words were harsh and went straight to his heart but he knew that Seth was right. He had convinced everyone that Kirsten was still alive but when it all boiled down, it had taken his mother a few weeks to crack his wall of hope and convince him to let her go. Sandy thought that his mother even had the audacity to use Kirsten's thoughts as appropriate leverage tools.

"Seth . . . listen to me . . . I know your mother, I know how she thinks, I know what she wants and what she doesn't . . . and I know one thing," Sandy began, "When your mother was pregnant with Scarlett she feared that the birth wouldn't be easy and she was right, but one day before she went into labour she told me that if anything happened to her, I was to make Scarlett my number one priority and if anything happened to your mother I was to move on . . . and seeing as that didn't happen I was elated and when she recovered I was so happy but now . . . that promise I made to her still remains because something has happened to her and I'm making you, Ryan and Scarlett my priorities and I know your mother wouldn't want us to be dwelling on her . . . she'd want us to be living life the way she would want us to."

Seth knew that his father was right and his mother's mentality was that she wanted the very best for her children no matter what happened to her along the way. Kirsten wanted her children to get the best education, have the best life and be happy in whatever they do because they were her children.

To Kirsten, her family came first.

"I know," Seth whispered.

"Then you have to understand how hard it is for all of us . . . Seth, we almost lost your mother a year and a half ago and we got a second chance with her . . . your mother is a fighter but sometimes the fight goes out of the dog . . . and maybe it was time for your mother."

"But there is no proof!"

"We didn't find her Seth – in that motel? We didn't find her."

"That doesn't mean anything! Maybe the guys holding her were given a tip off that the cops were coming and fled with mom . . . and just because she's not there doesn't mean that she's dead!"

"Seth, they checked the complex, they checked the surrounding area . . . they checked-"

"Well they didn't do a good enough job!"

"Ok for argument's sake let's say you're right – we don't know how big a head start they had if they were tipped off. They could have been in the vicinity or they could've been in San Francisco by the time we got there."

"They should have looked harder," Seth retorted as he turned away to look at the photo of his mother.

"Seth-"

The broken boy draped his arms around his legs and rested his head on his knees.

"It was too soon," he whispered.

"What?"

"It was too soon," he repeated.

"What was?"

"The mem- . . .the memorial . . . it was too soon."

"How so? Seth? Talk to me."

As he looked at the photograph, he gazed into the smiling eyes of his mother and tried to piece together the words he needed.

"Everything . . . the memorial was way too soon."

"It's been almost a year Seth."

"Yeh a year," he replied as he whipped his head around, "it's been almost _a year_! One year. Twelve months. Not twenty-four. Not thirty months. One year and everyone has given up before the first year is out . . . no one does that! Not until there is a body or something to speak of . . .we have nothing."

"I know that!"

"Then why have you given up on her? You of all people should be convincing everyone that at any second she'll be coming through that front door or at any minute Detective Mitchell will tell us that they've found her!"

"Because it's too painful! It's too painful to think of your mother and not have her in my arms . . . not have her around to kiss, not see her smile every morning . . . it's too painful to think that she may be in pain out there somewhere and I can't do anything to fix that . . . I vowed to protect her from the evil of the world and I've failed in that so what do you think that says to me? Huh? That I couldn't protect her? That I failed her? Nobody will ever love your mother like I do so don't tell me that this is easy . . . it's not . . . the love of my life has been missing for almost a year . . . and try to put yourself in my shoes – what if it wasn't Kirsten? What if it was Summer? And you two had been married for twenty years, had three children together and now you tell me how it feels."

Seth thought about the given scenario. Summer was his first love and he loved her more than anything and he couldn't possibly imagine her being missing.

"I can't . . . I can't imagine that," he whispered in response.

"Good . . . because I don't ever want you to experience that . . . it is so hard and the only thing that gets me through the minutes that she isn't here is the reminder that I have a family to raise and a family to provide for."

It was all beginning to make sense to Seth now.

He reached beside him and picked up his mobile phone and displaying the number he had stored in the memory.

"You see this number?" Seth asked.

Sandy nodded.

"It's the number for Brown university . . . I was going to call it to withdraw my application because I don't think that I should be away for when she returns . . . and I was thinking if I put off calling she'd come back and she'd be ordering me to go."

"Oh Seth . . . don't . . . don't do that because she'd-"

"She'd want me to go to college . . . I know," Seth finished softly, "I just – I miss her so much dad and I don't know what to do now that everyone has said goodbye to her and I'm still holding on."

Sandy embraced his broken child and held onto him fiercely yet comfortingly.

"Listen Seth . . . you can hold on for as long as you like and you don't have to do anything that you don't want to . . . but just try to get some semblance of a life."

"I'll try."

"That's all I ask."

The two remained in the father son bond until they saw a time that was appropriate to break away.

"Thanks dad and I'm sorry about what I said . . . what I called you."

"Don't worry about son, I know you just miss your mother and you were blowing off steam."

"Yeh I really need a punching bag."

Sandy smiled sadly.

"Well, lunch will be ready soon."

"I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Ok."

Sandy quietly exited the room closing the door behind him whereas Seth looked back at the photograph on his table. He reached out his arm and picked it up so gently, afraid that the pure pressure of his fingers would cause it to disintegrate. Once it was in front of him, Seth turned the frame over and retrieved the piece of paper that he had hid behind it.

Kirsten had given him that piece of paper when he was younger and told him that if he was ever scared or alone, that he should look at this piece of paper.

He removed the paper and looked at the cursive handwriting in front of him.

'_You are Seth Cohen'_.

Son of Sandy and Kirsten Cohen, he thought inwardly.

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**There you go. I'm updating this as fast as I can and I know that isn't fast enough for some people but I'm doing my best. Rock on.**


	17. A Red Pointe

**Hey everyone, I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a Happy Chrismukkah and all prepared for New Year's and a brand new chapter of 'Gone and Missing'. Sorry I haven't updated any fics in a while but I was away in Benidorm and nowhere near a computer but here I am back and reading for updating. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own any OC character except for my own characters.

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"_Ok and now we come to the infamous and crowded 'Make-Up Row' and oh lookey who we have here," a voice behind the camera narrated, "Our very own prima ballerina star Kiks!"_

_Kirsten sat in front of a mirror that had several bright bulbs shining vibrantly as she methodically applied her make-up to her perfect complexion whilst ignoring the camera. Biting her lower lip and pulling down the skin under her eye, she delicately applied black eyeliner to highlight her piercing eyes._

"_Kiks?" the voice asked._

_Kirsten ignored it._

"_Come on Kirsten look at the camera."_

"_Kinda busy Erin babe," Kirsten smiled in between strokes of lipstick on her lips, "but because I love you."_

_A young Kirsten turned to look at the camera and playfully pouted before continuing on to make funny faces by raising her eyebrows, looking in odd directions, crinkling her forehead and puffing her cheeks causing Erin to move the camera around._

_Then, Kirsten melodramatically mouthed 'I love you' over and over again before bursting out in giggles._

"_You ready then?"_

"_Yeh I think I am, I just need to warm up while in costume and I'll be fine," Kirsten replied as she took one last look in the mirror to find any flaws in her make-up, "So I better put my costume on."_

"_So your dad coming?"_

"_Take a guess."_

"_Oh right. Well you'll be great."_

"_Thanks Erin . . . ok well I really have to get my costume on."_

_Then she stood up and walked away signalling to the camera that she'll be back in one minute and suddenly it cut to one of the wings of backstage were Kirsten was all dolled up in her costume and make-up and she tied her pointe shoe ribbons around her ankles._

_Once satisfied that the ribbons were correctly on and tied, she stood up and went up onto en pointe and subsequently lowered herself. After that she repeatedly rose quickly up to her tip-toes and down to the floor again._

"_You know I have a question," Kirsten said._

"_Oh what's that?"_

"_When are you going to get ready?" she smiled._

"_Sure I'm not on until act two so I don't have to be ready for a while yet and besides I have to give your mom the camera which I better go and do that now actually," Erin remembered prior to stopping recording._

Sandy was sitting perched on the couch of the family room as he watched videos of his wife when she was young. He had recently finished watching her as a toddler and now he was absorbing Kirsten as a sixteen year old beauty while she hung backstage before dancing as 'The Girl' in her classes performance of 'The Red Shoes'.

Before he knew it the overture had begun and then as it progressed Sandy simply couldn't take his eyes off of her. Her pirouettes and arabesques were as beautiful and as elegant as Kirsten herself. Her flowing costume flowed delicately as she twirled and the smile that graced her angelic features was simply unbelievable. The red pointe shoes carried her around the stage just as her heart carried her feet with every note of the orchestral score.

Sandy knew that she had an elegance that was untameable but he basically couldn't take his eyes off of her. Kirsten had told him that she was a ballet dancer and on the video he could see that she was dancing with all of her heart also for him to watch this was truly a treat because she had quit ballet before moving to Berkeley. Yet no matter how much he begged, she refused to dance for him even though she still had a pair of pointe shoes.

"_God I'm knackered after that," Kirsten beamed as she dabbed her forehead backstage after the performance ended._

"_But you were amazing darling."_

"_Thanks mom. I had a great time," she breathed._

"_And I could clearly see that darling and I rushed backstage as soon as the curtain stayed down," Kirsten's mother's voice beamed proudly._

The smile that graced Kirsten's face at the pride her adoring mother had for her pulled at Sandy's heartstrings for the innocence of that sixteen year old girl would be crushed within years as Amelia would be diagnosed with ovarian cancer and be gone.

Suddenly he remembered something.

The date.

It was the one year anniversary.

The one year anniversary of Kirsten's abduction.

One year.

"Sandy," Sophie greeted nonchalantly as she entered the family room.

"Hey Ma."

"How are you?" she asked as she sat down beside him on the couch looking at the collection of videos.

"The same as yesterday and the day before that and the day before that and I've pretty much been the same way for an entire year."

"Oh Sanford I'm sorry. I didn't realise that-" Sophie said realising.

"Please Ma, don't remind me what today is."

"Ok."

"_Mom! Come on, I've got to get changed," Kirsten smiled as she leaned up against a door._

Sophie turned to look at the television to see a smiling young blonde girl in a white bodice, "What are you watching? Don't tell me it's an E! True Hollywood Special, I hate those."

"No Ma it isn't," Sandy replied looking up at the screen.

"_Oh come on sweetie; just let me get you in your costume before you swap it for your jeans."_

"_Mom! You just got me in it for the last two hours," she complained as she stood uncomfortably as her mother zoomed out._

"It's Kirsten when she was sixteen . . . her ballet recital."

"Ballet?"

"_Now go en pointe sweetie."_

"_Ok but hang on – Erin! Get over here!" Kirsten called._

_Then Kirsten reached out of the screen shot and pulled Erin into the screen and whispered something to her friend before they positioned themselves._

"_Now and balance in fifth."_

_Together they rose up to en pointe and pouted playfully for the camera as her mother recorded them but then in unison they switched positions to matching arabesques._

"_We are like so cool," Kirsten smiled before lowering herself to the floor, "now I'm leaving."_

_Giggling, the sixteen year old waved and went through the door behind her blowing kisses all the way._

"I always knew she was a Prima Donna," Sophia snidely commented.

"Ma!"

"What? She is. Look!"

"You mean Prima Ballerina and Kirsten is not how you think she is. Not in the least. You saw how happy she was on that tape and you didn't see how ecstatic she was while she was dancing. Kirsten is beautiful and elegant and not because she did ballet but because she's Kirsten."

"Sandy-"

"And where do you get off saying things like that about her when you don't even know the first thing about her!" Sandy asked angrily.

"I know where she came from," she argued.

"Came from? Ma, she's from Orange County not Pluto! And your grandchildren are being raised here-"

"And who's chose was that?"

"Ours. Mine and Kirsten's."

"No, it was hers!"

"No! We came because she's a wonderful loving daughter who wanted for care for her sick mother and to be there for her and I wanted to be there for Amelia and be there for Kirsten when tears fell from her eyes. And we both wanted Seth to spend as much time with Amelia as possible and for her to spend time with her only grandchild so don't go blaming our moving here on Kirsten. You thought it was bad enough that she was from California but I fell in love with her, not you," he said.

"But correct me if I'm wrong but she has been dead since Seth was six."

Sandy was taken back at the harshness of that sentence.

"Yeh it happened . . . but we decided to stay here because I had my job here and Kirsten had hers and before you say what I know you are going to say, Kirsten didn't take her job because it paid well but so that she could spend time with her father and make him proud of her – that's why. And Seth was in school here and we didn't want to disrupt his education again."

"Then why didn't you move back during the summer months?" she asked.

Sandy was about to reply when she cut him off.

"I'll tell you why," she began, "It's because whenever she says 'Jump', you ask 'How high?'. All she has to do is bat her eyelids and you'll do anything."

"You don't know her! You never wanted to."

"Because I know her type."

"Kirsten is a person, not a thing and this is exactly the reason why she never told you about her youth and especially why she didn't tell you she did ballet because Kirsten knew that you would react like this and make these stupid assumptions about her," he spat.

It infuriated him that his mother continued to believe that his wife and her own daughter-in-law was a bobble head blonde ditz with her only redeemable quality being the fact that she bore her two grandchildren and adopted Ryan. It pained him to think that if Kirsten had have been a brunette, then Sophie would have undoubtedly welcomed her into the Cohen family with open arms. But the only thing Kirsten was welcomed by was a steely handshake and a barrage of insults. Sophie Cohen and Caleb Nichol neither welcomed their child's loved one into the family and it all boiled down to the one fundamental aspect – religion. Caleb believed that Sandy wasn't good enough for his daughter as he was Jewish and raised in the Bronx and Sophie knew that Kirsten was not right for her son because she was Presbyterian.

That didn't matter to Kirsten or Sandy for they believed that all they needed was they love that they held for each other.

And they had plenty of it.

"Don't talk about my wife like that in this house when your grandchildren are here. I'm sick of having this argument and I don't . . . I don't want to have it again. Not now," he whispered, "not today."

Solemnly he switched off the VCR and the screen was then filled with a newsreader as he reported of the recent events in the local area but it was followed by a different topic

"And it is a poignant day for the residents of Newport Beach as today marks the one year anniversary since Newport local Kirsten Cohen was abducted," he read.

Sandy's heart constricted tightly in his chest.

"The thirty-nine year old, mother of three, was taken from Lake Shore Road this day last year. No ransom demand has been given nor contact with those who had abducted her. The kidnappers have been identified as brothers Bill and Gary Truman. Zoë Lloyd reports from Newport."

Instantly, the screen switched from the reporter in the News Studio to a young woman standing on Lake Shore Road.

"A year ago today, Newport local Kirsten Cohen was taken from this very spot. CCTV footage captured by a nearby store shows the horror of her abduction as one of the men bundled her into the back of their van while the other restrained her as she tried to escape before driving off. All that was left at the scene was the range rover that Mrs Cohen was driving that day and a broken bracelet with her name engraved in it. Mrs Cohen's disappearance has greatly affected this close community but her absence hasn't been more felt than that of her family leaving eighteen year old sons Seth and Ryan lost, husband Sandy devastated and eighteen month old daughter Scarlett confused.

"The family have publicly pleaded for her return but 5 months ago police detectives found a burned out van that was identified as the one that had taken Mrs Cohen and in the van included the clothes that she was wearing that day and three platinum rings. But as you can see behind me, locals have placed floral tributes to the Newport's lost Princess and the family-"

"Sorry to interrupt you Zoë but . . . but we have incoming news at the moment."

He paused.

"Sorry Zoë but we are now going live to Berkeley General Hospital where Darren Jackson is standing by . . . . Darren what is going on?"

Sandy leaned back into the couch as another reporter filled the screen. He wished that they hadn't reported on Kirsten's anniversary because he knew that Seth would be watching the news and Ryan would most likely be watching it too out in the pool house.

"Yes Travis, I'm here at Berkeley's General Hospital waiting on an ambulance to arrive which is carrying the missing but now found woman Kirsten Cohen."

Kirsten?

Kirsten Cohen?

Blonde hair, blue eyes, button nose?

Had she actually been found?

Sandy sat bolt upright in shock as a loud 'Dad!' bellowed down the stairs from upstairs before he heard his son bound down the stairs. Almost simultaneously Ryan burst in through the kitchen door and crossed over to the television.

Then the door bell rang.

"I'll get it," Sophie offered.

Sandy, Seth and Ryan were all glued to the screen as he saw media crews gather as close a humanly possible to the ambulance bay to get the 'scoop'.

Scoop.

That's all Kirsten was to them.

A story.

All three men waited with baited breath to see if they had actually heard correctly. Had it been Kirsten's name that that reporter had said.

"Sandy!" Detective Mitchell called as he entered the family room hurriedly, "Sandy I just got a phone call and Kirsten's been found in Berkeley – oh you know," he stopped as he saw the news on the television.

"Yeh."

"I got the call and rushed straight over here; thank god I'm a police officer and could use the siren to get here sooner."

They all looked back at the television.

"Ok Travis I don't know if you can see this but the ambulance has just arrived and medical staff have come out and are rushing her into the emergency room," Jackson reported.

The camera moved beyond the reporter to the paramedics as they removed her from the ambulance and escorted her quickly into the hospital.

It all happened so fast that they feared that they missed seeing her but time slowed down for the Cohens and there she was.

She was lying unconsciously on a stretcher, covered with several blankets to keep her painfully thin frame warm. The camera zoomed in on her face that was dominated by an oxygen mask. Her skin was very pale, drawn and gaunt and the only word to describe her was frail.

"She's having difficulty breathing," one doctor could be heard calling out before they rushed her into the hospital.

"Let's go now!" Sandy ordered.

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**Happy now?**

**I hope there wasn't many spelling or grammar mistakes but if there are, I apologise.**

**Happy New Year everyone. I wish you a happy and healthy one and those who can drink don't overdue it on New Year's Eve. Love you all. Rock on xox.**


	18. Getting There

**Thank you all so so so much for all your wonderful reviews and I hope you all had a wonderful New Years and that 2006 is going well so far. I'm really disappointed with this chapter but I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own any OC character. I only own Scarlett and other unrecognisable characters.

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"Ryan, get Scarlett and get the range rover out," Sandy ordered hurriedly as he picked up the phone, "Seth help Ryan get your sister ready erm get some things that you'll need, Ma you too. I'm gonna get in touch with Caleb and tell him – Seth actually call you Aunt Hailey and tell her that your mother has been found . . . and we'll meet at the car in about five – ten minutes."

"Sure dad."

Everyone went their respective ways. The Nana followed Ryan upstairs to Scarlett's room where she had busied herself with her toys. Ryan bent down and picked up the blonde child, "Hey Lettie, we're going to see Mommy now, what toy do you wanna bring huh? Tigger or Whit?"

"Whit," she replied reaching out.

"Ok, there you go."

Scarlett hugged the stuffed animal to her tiny chest and turned into Ryan while Sophie grabbed a nearby bag before placing several tiny outfits in it.

However, the subject that she was thinking about was something she thought would never cross her mind at this time. She was thinking about Kirsten of all things. Sophie knew that the return of her daughter-in-law would repairs the broken hearts of her son and grandchildren and she hated to admit it but Kirsten had weaved herself however minutely into her heart.

A scenario popped into her mind and she thought that if Kirsten had have been abducted twenty years previously, then she wouldn't have minded it.

But now.

After twenty odd years of butting heads with her and watching her build a family with her son, Sophie felt that Kirsten had a place in her heart. When she had been told that Kirsten was missing, her heart skipped a beat in disbelief but the sound of Sandy's clearly heartbroken voice over the phone told her everything that she needed to know.

She didn't know why she was so cynical and forceful during Kirsten's disappearance when Sandy was obviously distressed.

Sophie paused packing as she looked down at a photograph that sat framed on a cabinet. Kirsten was holding baby Scarlett with Sandy's arm draped lovingly over her shoulder with Ryan and Seth standing behind them. They all looked content, perfect and incredibly loving.

Then it came to her why she disliked Kirsten so much.

It wasn't her natural beauty.

It wasn't her manicured nails or her timeless blonde hair.

It was how much she was loved by those who met her.

She knew with out a doubt that her son loved Kirsten more than any words could express and since her disappearance he had been a ship stranded in the middle of the ocean with no wind. He couldn't eat, sleep or function. He just exited for the sake of his children.

Sandy wasn't living because she wasn't around.

She blamed Kirsten.

"Ok Scarlett's ready," Ryan reported interrupting her thoughts, "I'm going to take her down and get her strapped into the car."

"Ok dear."

Ryan padded out of the recently finished nursery and headed downstairs where he went out the door to settle Scarlett into her baby seat in the car.

"There you go Lettie," he told her just as Seth came out with a duffle bag which he deposited in the boot of the car all the while on his cell phone.

"Yeh . . . yeh we're going to head out in a few minutes, dad is just calling grandpa at the minute . . . ok . . . ok we'll see you soon . . . bye," Seth spoke into the phone before turning to Ryan, "Erm Aunt Hailey is going to get on the next flight out of Japan to here as soon as possible."

"That's great."

"Aunt Haywee?" Scarlett asked from her seat.

"Yeh Aunt Hailey is coming back because mom is back."

"Hey Seth, would you mind staying here with Scarlett while I go out to the pool house to get some things."

"Yeh sure."

And with that Ryan jogged up the few steps into the house and quickly transversed his way through the house to the pool house

"Cohen!" a voice came from behind Seth.

A familiar car came up into the drive way and parked alongside Detective Mitchell's

"Summer hey."

"Hey, I just heard and came straight here, how are you?" she rambled quickly as she got out of her car and headed to Seth.

"As well as can be expected. Erm, we're gonna head up there in a few."

"Well I'll stick around till then."

Meanwhile in the pool house Ryan stuffed several items of clothing into a duffle bag hurriedly with anticipation at seeing Kirsten again. Kirsten meant everything to him and she just wasn't Seth and Scarlett's mom, Caleb Nichol's eldest daughter or Sandy Cohen's wife but she was also his mother and suddenly thoughts flurried in his head.

Was she alright?

Would she recognise them after all this time?

Would they recognise her?

Of they would recognise her because they saw her on the television screen he thought but all he knew was that emotions swirled frantically inside his head and tears of joy and anticipation threatened to breach his protective wall.

For months after first meeting Kirsten he only knew her as Mrs Cohen and the woman who let him stay in her house against her better judgement. Now, she is the woman who let him into her heart and she loved him just as much as she loved her biological children that she carried for a collective eighteen months.

Also for the last twelve months, the entire family had only photographs and video tapes in which they could see Kirsten in the past. But now it dawn on him that Kirsten was alive and that she was just a few hours away in Berkeley.

Hastily he finished packing and flew out of the pool house and only stopped long enough to pick up a small daisy where he housed it safely in his jean pocket. Afterwards he speedily hurried to the front of the house where he added his duffle bag to the collection in the boot of the car.

Everyone had convened by the car and were waiting for Sandy who appeared within seconds of Ryan coming carrying his own bag.

"Ok everyone here?" he asked.

"Yeh dad and Summer arrived too."

"Ok hi Summer, right the sooner we get to Berkeley the better," he spoke as he too threw his bag into the car, "What's the news on Hailey."

"She's getting on the next flight," Seth reported.

"Good, here's the plan – I was on the phone to Caleb and he said that he'll meet us at the airport and we'll take the Lear jet up to Berkeley which will get us there sooner than it will by car. He's already arranged for a car to meet us there which will take us straight to the hospital."

"Really?" Sophie questioned.

"Yeh, ok, everyone in the car, you too Summer," Sandy ordered as he locked the front door.

Summer, Seth and Ryan managed to get themselves squashed into the backseat of the range rover beside Scarlett's baby seat while the Nana took the front passenger seat.

Once satisfied that the front door was securely locked, Sandy returned to the car and took his place in the driver's seat while Detective Mitchell reversed out and led the way to the airport as a police escort however he wouldn't be joining them on the flight.

Before they knew it they were at the airport as their thoughts were distracted by the luscious passing scenery and they all headed for the awaiting Lear jet. However the Nana wasn't about to get into the aircraft.

"I'm not getting in that thing; god knows what'll happen," she complained, "we could end up in a worse state than Kirsten."

"Ma how'd you get out here, in a plane," Sandy countered.

"Yeh a plane not a little jet!"

"Ma'am I assure you this jet is very safe," the pilot reassured.

"Oh sure of course you'd say that."

"Ma."

"Could you all shut up and get on the plane!" Seth yelled from the door, "my mom is in a hospital bed in Berkeley and I'm not going to let you keep me from her so shut up and get on the plane."

The adults could hear the begging tone in his voice and the desperation of getting to Berkeley and they couldn't deny him his wish. Sophie bit her lip and stepped up the few steps to the plane where everyone was already seated and waiting patiently. Caleb however did not have the best face on him.

Once everyone was seated, Caleb gave the order to the pilot to take off and the jet began to taxi down to the run way.

"Daddy," Scarlett cried slightly.

"Yes sweetheart?" Sandy asked as Scarlett grabbed his hand with her small one.

He looked at his daughter in the chair next to him and the fright was clearly evident on her face. Immediately he remembered that she had never been on a plane before. Cautiously he unbuckled her seatbelt and lifted her onto his lap where he hugged her securely all the while whispering, "It's ok sweetie pie. There's nothing to worry about. I've got you. Daddy's got you."

Scarlett clung to her father as the engines roared as they powered up. Her grip increased as the jet began to speed up as it accelerated fiercely down the concrete. As a result, Sandy's hold on his daughter grew ever more secure and comforting.

Once the plane was in the air, Scarlett slowly released her grasp on her father but still held onto his shirt.

"Hey you ok sweetie?" Summer asked noticing Scarlett.

"Uh huh," she nodded.

"Summer could you hold her, I've gotta stretch my legs."

"Yeh sure Mr C," Summer replied, "Come here angel."

Summer reached out as Scarlett was manoeuvred onto her lap where the child reasserted her grip.

"You don't like flying?" she asked gently.

"Nah, Scarlett's never been on a plane before," Seth clarified.

"Oh right," and with that Summer safely cuddled Seth's baby sister.

Elsewhere, Sandy went into the restroom and allowed himself to fall back against the door bowing his head. He slumped forward and used the sink to balance on as his legs had become completely devoid of all or any energy.

It was because the plane was coming ever closer to Berkeley and to Kirsten.

Kirsten.

She was alive.

She is alive.

And he was getting ever closer to her.

Sandy couldn't wait to hold her in his arms and to see her face when she realises that she's back and safe with her family. But as he looked up in the mirror he saw his tired reflection and the ghosts of himself and Kirsten on their last morning together – his wake up call and Scarlett's cry interrupting them and their loving embrace. While the ghosts kissed he felt a familiar tingle around his neck where Kirsten traditionally laid her arms as they cuddled.

A knock from the outside world tore him from his reverie.

"Dad? You ok?"

"Yeh erm I'm fine Seth."

"Ok just checking."

Solemnly, Seth returned to his seat next to Summer and he resumed staring at the carpeted floor of the jet as others around him occupied themselves. The navy shade of the carpet absorbed his thoughts.

Why were dad and the Nana still bickering over mom?

Is mom ok?

Will she be ok?

Then it hit him clearly.

This was it.

This was what he and the entire family had waited an entire year for – the return of his mother. His beloved blonde WASP mother was alive and not in some god forsaken spit of land somewhere but in a hospital where professionals would and will look after her. Suddenly more questions and feelings filled his head.

"Cohen?" Summer whispered gently taking his hand, "You ok?"

"Erm yeh, yeh I'm ok . . . just-thinking," he replied trying to be brave.

"About what?" she asked adjusting Scarlett on her lap.

Seth paused.

"Everything," he began, "mom . . . just her being found alive . . . I mean this is it. This is what we have waited for for an entire year and its here . . . she's here."

"Yeh I know. Your mom means a lot to you."

Seth looked at Summer quickly and was about to speak when she cut him off.

"I'm more perceptive than I look Cohen . . . I know and I've seen how much your mom's disappearance affected you . . . because it affected me too and you studied your ass off for your results and I know you did that to make her proud of you."

"Yeh I did," he admitted softly, "and I didn't give up hope."

"And it was for that reason that's you didn't . . . you wanted to give her something to come home too . . . killer results."

Then a reflective silence befell them.

"I just can't wait to see her."

"I'm sure you're not the only one."

"I know."

"Your dad is bound to be over the moon."

"Yeh I know he is . . . although he doesn't show it, I know he is. Those kinds of emotions he usually reserves for mom," Seth replied.

"I can't imagine what he must've gone through . . . the love of his life being abducted with no trace whatsoever and now after people convinced him to give up; she returns . . . it's like having your heart broken and then having it put back together suddenly with glue and cellotape."

"Yeh they are inseparable but one thing is weird," he thought.

"What's that?"

"Why Berkeley?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why was mom found in Berkeley? It was searched repeatedly and the van was found in Napa and they were spotted in Eureka and now Berkeley. Their pattern is really irrational."

"You've been watching too much CSI," Summer commented.

When Sandy finally reappeared in the main area of the jet the captain's voice filled the space to inform them that they were approached the small airport in Berkeley and were ten minutes away from landing and that they should fasten their seatbelts.

Sandy took his spot next to Summer and Scarlett reached out for him to which Summer handed her gently over.

"Hey there," he cooed as he positioned her comfortably on his lap.

"I didn't think we'd be landing this soon?" the Nana questioned.

"I ordered the pilot to go as fast as he possibly could because I'm anxious to get to my daughter," Caleb replied.

Minutes later they were mere inches above the concrete of the receiving run way and when the wheels touched down Scarlett clutched tightly to Sandy but once the jet started to slow down she giggled and smiled happily.

The second the jet had stopped and the door was opened, the family bundled their way out and across to the waiting car carrying their bags with not one argument being raised from the Nana.

All of them sat like statues in the car as it made its way to the hospital.

They all sat in anticipation.

As the sight's of Berkeley whizzed past them, they became unaware that they were nearing ever closer.

When the hospital came into sight, Sandy couldn't wait for the car to stop and hopped out of the braking car before sprinting to the door of the hospital followed closely by Summer, Seth, Ryan and Scarlett, the Nana and Caleb.

They made it there.

They made it to Kirsten.

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**I have no idea if there actually is an airport in Berkeley or Newport for that matter but to make the fic flow easier, let's just say there are. I apologise for any grammatical or spelling errors. Rock on.**


	19. Tourniquet

**Thank you all for your kind and encouraging comments in regard to the previous chapter and even though I wanted to make the chapter more anxiety provoking, you all raised my spirits with your kind words. Love you all and I hope you enjoy this chapter as it's basically one to fill a gap. I got an idea for a part of this chapter from a review and thank you very much for your idea. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer – I only own Scarlett and Emzzie.

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Practically as soon as the car door was open and no later than Sandy setting foot on the tarmac surface of the path, was the media's attention focused on the family arriving. As Sandy bolted to the awaiting sterile fortress that held his princess, a flurry of camera flashes and a booming roar of 'Sandy!' and 'Mr. Cohen' assaulted his senses. Reporters by the many lines the route to the hospital door and each of them pushed forward a microphone in a mass frenzy to get him to speak but he just continued on.

Seth, Ryan, Summer, Sophie and Scarlett followed bewildered as the last thing they expected was a barrage of eager reporters waiting for their arrival. Seth looked at them quickly in the wake of his father and he could see their talons clawing at them and their fangs reaching for them yet a surge of anger coursed through him. All the reporters gathered were all their in order to get their story and get their spot on the late night news and they didn't give a second thought to the woman in that hospital bed who may or may not be fighting for her life. They didn't care that she was his mother, or his father's wife. All these people knew about her was that her name was Kirsten Cohen and that she had been missing for three hundred and sixty five days.

He pushed his anger and resentment aside knowing that his need to see his mother was much greater and also felt that his mother needed him.

Caleb followed suit and he also was greeted with an onslaught of 'Mr Nichol' and 'How do you feel that your daughter's alive?' His only response was 'No comment' in a guttural mumble before continuing on.

Sandy burst through the doors and made a bee line for the reception desk.

"I'm looking for Kirsten Cohen. S-she was brought in here earlier today," he asked breathlessly whilst clutching the desk.

"Yes, she's still in surgery right now so if you'll take a seat a doctor will be down soon to see you," the man replied professionally.

"Can't you tell me anything?" Sandy pressed.

"I'm afraid not Sir."

"God dammit!" he cursed restraining the volume of his voice as he gritted his teeth, "that patient is my wife who I didn't know was either alive or dead during the past year. I've been through hell and you can't tell me a god damn thing?"

"Mr Cohen, you have to understand that we have a code of conduct and whenever the doctors know what her prognosis is, we'll know. And at the moment Mrs Cohen is in surgery and has been ever since she arrived two and a half hours ago. So I suggest that you take a seat because as you can see we are pretty busy," he continued monotonously.

"That's not good enough . . . not enough," Sandy whispered turning around.

The straggling family members finally caught up with him and saw the sombre expression on his face.

"Where is she? Is she ok?" Seth probed immediately without taking a single breath.

"I don't know and-"

"Where's mom?"

"They won't tell me. All they've said is that she's still in surgery."

"Still?" Ryan repeated concerned.

"Yeh . . .ever since she got here . . . they haven't said anything," Sandy added as he frantically searched for someone who looked like they know what was happening with his wife. He knew that white coats were preferable indicators but none of the people in white coats in sight were tending to someone that looked remotely like Kirsten.

"Grandpa, can't you do something?" Seth tried desperately.

Caleb had thought about using his legendary name to allow them to gain access to his daughter but then he realised something. This hospital wasn't in Newport and nor was it in Orange County and even though he was famously known all over the country, he doubted that his name would carry any currency in Berkeley.

"I don't think that'll do much good Seth," Caleb admitted.

"What?"

"It won't work."

"Why?" his grandson asked confused, "You're Caleb Nichol. You're the Mc WASP to mom's WASP. You're bound to be able to do something."

"Seth-" Caleb tried.

Yet before he would allow his grandfather to finish, Seth turned on his heel and went in search of his mother. He was still bitter over the fact that he was forced into a passive role during his mother's search but now he was taking initiative. When it came to having his beloved mom within metres, Seth knew that he was not going to be a passive entity.

Walking frantically down the sterile bustling corridors of the hospital, Seth looked through every window and in every bed to see a glimpse of Kirsten but all he saw was strangers was family members at their bedside or patients with tubes down their throats or threaded into their arms. As he moved, he tried to dislodge a lump that accumulated in his parched throat.

You are Seth Cohen.

Those words written in her cursive handwriting flashed before his eyes.

Then, in a ghost like whisper, he heard her voice repeat them into his ear.

Seth Cohen.

Cohen.

He was a member of a family.

The Cohen family.

Throughout the last twelve months they had stuck together because that was what Kirsten would've wanted and they stood by each other because they knew that they couldn't get through it without the other there for moral, emotion and general support.

So why was now any different?

Seth shuffled his way back to his congregated family and humbly apologised for his immature behaviour but before anyone could say anything in response, a voice from behind them interrupted.

"Sandy," it asked.

Sandy froze before slowly inching around as he feared it was a doctor arriving to tell him that Kirsten had died. He thought that the informality was because they had known each other from college as he remembered having friends who were medicine majors.

However, the person he saw was someone he did not expect to see.

"Emzzie!" Sandy called stunned.

"Hey," she replied moving closer.

The two acquaintances embraced each other in a familiar hug.

"How are you?" Emily asked as they broke apart.

"Relieved," he admitted, "but – I'm annoyed too."

"How do you mean?"

"I'm so happy that Kirsten is alive, god knows I am but . . . but I'm so damned annoyed that no-one will tell me what's happening with her."

"I know the feeling – I've been here for more or less two hours."

Sandy looked at her.

"I came as soon as I saw it on the TV and I jumped in my car and I arrived I'm guessing, thirty minutes after the ambulance did," she said, " and they've told me nada! Kirsten was found no that far from where I live."

"Wait. You know where she was found?" Seth interrupted/

"Cohen," Summer reprimanded, "don't interrupted."

"It's ok dear. I know where."

"Where?"

"Erm she was found . . . in the backyard . . . of Mrs McAllister's house . . . your old house," Emily answered slowly.

Everyone stood in silence as they tried to digest and absorb the information that had been presented to them. Sandy wandered why Kirsten was found at their old house when they had lived here and why she had even come here. Then he thought that if they had moved there when Ryan had first arrived, then this never would've happened and they would be safe and sound in Berkeley. But then Scarlett would never have been born. He was just so confused and pulled every which angle by his warring emotions.

"Oh I'm sorry Emily, uh guys this is Emily Foster, she went to college with Kirsten and me," Sandy introduced, "you remember my mother and Kirsten's father from our wedding."

"Of course, nice to meet you again," she replied.

"This is Summer, Ryan our son and you remember Seth of course."

"Oh how can I forget, hi Seth."

Seth lifted a mediocre hand in response.

"And who is this adorable little one?" Emily asked after spotting the blonde toddler in Ryan's arms.

"This is our baby daughter Scarlett," Sandy responded.

"Aw hello Scarlett," she cooed taking the infant's tiny hand in hers in a handshake.

To Seth everything drowned and faded from his senses as his jumbled thoughts took over thus blocking out the whole place.

Berkeley – their old house – found there.

Berkeley – their old house – found there.

Those three points circled hauntingly over and over in an endless loop as he tried to make sense of why his mother was found in Berkeley and in the backyard of their old house.

'Oh no,' he thought 'Please no.'

Don't let her have forgotten the last twenty years.

Seth hypothesised that the reason his mother came to Berkeley was because of the fact that she may have no memory of them ever moving to Newport. This scared him.

What if she forgot that she had ever given birth to him . . . or Scarlett? What if she forgot about Ryan? Or even though he hated to think about it – what if she forgot about their father?

His father loved his mother more than anyone could ever love a person and the loss of their love and memories together would just prove to him forever that continuous and everlasting love doesn't exist. If his parents' love couldn't survive, what hope is there for anybody else?

"Seth?" Summer asked gently.

"I'm ok," he answered without being asked anything additional.

Summer gently slipped a comforting arm around her boyfriend.

"Maybe we should sit down?" she suggested.

"Yeh."

Solemnly they all moved towards a collection of plastic seats where they waited.

They waited to find out whether Kirsten was alive.

Or dead.

They prayed in their native customs.

Jewish.

Christian.

Or in Seth's case both.

Scarlett was too young to realise what they were doing.

They waited.

Elsewhere in the operating theatre, surgeons, doctors and nurses rushed around the room hurriedly as they fought tirelessly to stop the internal bleeding that wracked and consumed Kirsten Cohen's small and frail body.

Monitors beeped and blipped from every direction.

Then suddenly an alarm sounded in one and the room fell silent.

"Oh god! She's not breathing!"

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**Hate me if you wish but please stay tuned for the next chapter. The title may be odd but I chose it because a tourniquet stems external bleeding and the family may feel that with the lack of information they have been shot or something. Rock on.**


	20. Illusions

**Hey, I am so so so sorry that it has taken me oh so long to update but here I am with a brand new chapter which will hopefully live up to the others. I haven't been writing in a while so please forgive me for this. This is for Ally who is sick at the minute. Get better soon hon.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own any OC character.

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**

A pastel blue skyline.

Green trees that ascended to the heavens.

Perfect blades of grass caressing the feet of people who walked on top of them.

Merry bird song.

Smiling daisies.

Paradise expanding in every direction.

Kirsten looked around herself at the disturbing perfection that surrounded her. The soft pastel colours soothed her eyes and calmed her heart. There was no evidence of any human being around and no tiny creatures scuttled at her feet and the only sign of any presence besides her own was that of the chirping birds.

"Kirsten," a voice came from behind her.

Her blood froze in her body, her limbs locked against her body and her thoughts stopped. She feared that it was either Bill or Gary and that they had caught up with her after two months of being away from them. Was it two months? Had it been two weeks? Kirsten didn't know how much time had passed between her escape and now.

"Kirsten," the voice spoke again yet softer than before.

There was a hint of familiarity to the voice. She searched through her mind to try and find the owner to the voice but no matter how far she buried, she couldn't figure out who it was. It wasn't a man, or a child. It was a woman. And by the tone of her voice, a very loving woman.

"Kiki," it tried finally.

Again her body froze at the use of her nickname.

Slowly Kirsten turned around to face the person behind her. As she turned thoughts swam in her mind about who it could be. Who could know her nickname? Any number of people could as her father practically advertised her nickname. Who would call her it even though she hated it? Anyone just to piss her off. It wasn't Hailey because she called her 'Kiks' and Kirsten thought that the voice was too mature to be Hailey.

Kirsten finally came face to face with the woman connected to the voice.

Who she saw, was someone she had not seen in over ten years.

She looked as she did ten years ago except she was much more relaxed and happier. The pain in her face had been taken away and she was youthful looking and beautiful.

Kirsten froze.

"Mom?" she managed to say in an incoherent garble.

"Hi sweetheart," her mother replied softly as she took a step closer but Kirsten stumbled backwards in return.

The look in Kirsten's eyes was that of fear and confusion. Her mother was dead, she was there when she died, she was there when they buried her and she was there when her own mind fell apart as tears ceased to stop falling.

Amelia Nichol was dead.

Kirsten shook her head in fear.

"Honey, it's alright."

Still, Kirsten backed away.

If her mother was here before her and her mother dead, then that could only mean one thing.

She was dead too.

Kirsten turned to move away but her mother quickly put a soft hand on her shoulder and stopped Kirsten before going any further.

Her daughter's body shivered.

"Am I dead?" Kirsten asked in a small voice.

"What?" Amelia wondered.

"Am I dead?" she repeated as she turned back around.

Seeing the fear and confusion in her daughter's eyes, Amelia could see the little girl that looked up at her when she cut her knee while out playing with her friends. Seeing that little girl again caused her heart to melt and motherly instincts to take over.

"Oh honey," Amelia whispered as tears welled up in Kirsten's eyes.

Kirsten didn't fight against her mother as she hugged her in an embrace that only a mother's arms could provide. Amelia's delicate hands rubbed her daughter's back as sobs racked her body.

"No, no sweetie you're not dead," she whispered over and over again.

She wasn't dead.

"I'm – I'm not dead?" Kirsten stuttered coming out of the embrace.

"No sweetie, you're not," Amelia replied wiping away the tears that had fallen.

"Then-then why can I see you, why are you here, why am I here?" she asked rapidly.

"Kirsten, Kirsten sweetie calm down."

"How can I be calm?"

"Come on, let's take a walk," Amelia suggested holding out her hand to her daughter.

Kirsten slipped her own hand into that of her mother's and fell into line beside her as they walked slowly over the blades of grass beneath them.

"Do you have any idea where you are Kirsten?" she asked.

"No . . . I don't, I thought it might be Heaven when I saw you but there's no gate."

"Gate?"

"Yeh the gate that you are supposed to go through – to get into Heaven," Kirsten said.

"Oh that gate . . . there is that gate but it's not here . . . look at the skyline over there," she pointed, "you see the light coming from it.

"Barely," Kirsten squinted.

"That's the gate you are talking about."

"It's along way from here."

"Yes it is . . . and you are this far away for a reason."

"Why's that?"

Amelia stopped and moved so that she could face her child.

Kirsten searched her mother's eyes so see if there was any indication as to what she was about to say but as always her mother's eyes gave nothing away. Amelia Nichol was a loving and beautiful person but she had learned not to let anything show through her eyes especially when it came to her daughters.

"Kirsten . . . you are not meant to be here . . . the reason you are this far from the Gates is because it's not your time," Amelia began, "you still have a life to live."

"What do you mean? That this is some sort of limbo?"

"Yes sweetie, that's it . . . I didn't come here when I died because it was my time but this isn't yours . . . I'm here now to tell you this and to guide you back."

Kirsten tried to fathom the words that her mother had said to her.

She wasn't dead but in a sort of limbo.

"So what now?" Kirsten asked softly.

"I will guide you back and you will wake up, live the rest of your life, raise Seth, raise Ryan and raise Scarlett like you would have and I will see you one day in the very very very long future because the last thing I want is for you to be here long before your time."

"H-how do you know-"

"About Ryan and Scarlett?"

Kirsten nodded.

"I've been watching over you . . . and I've been with you all the time, I haven't left you or your sister since I died and I'm not about to stop watching over you now."

"Are they ok?"

"They . . . they miss you – a lot and Scarlett is beautiful, just like her mother and Ryan and Seth miss you like crazy."

"And Sandy?"

"I think you can answer that one for yourself sweetheart."

Kirsten lowered her head before looking back up at her mother and embracing her in a hug.

"I love you sweetie."

"I love you too mom."

"Now, time for you to go home."

"How do I do that?"

Amelia placed her hands out in right of her with her palms facing upwards.

"Take my hands," she instructed.

Kirsten placed her hands on top of Amelia's and held them.

"Now squeeze my right hand."

Kirsten did as instructed.

"And now the left."

Again she did as she was told; Kirsten squeezed her mother's hand.

"And I'll see you again," Amelia finished before everything around Kirsten coalesced and disappeared.

Sandy felt a faint squeeze of his hand and thought that he was dreaming at the tiny twitch.

"Kirsten?" he asked softly.

There was no evidence to suggest that she was waking up.

The bruises on her face caused one eye to swell shut and the purples shades and blue smudges decorated her face in a less than attractive way as the pain they must inflict ought to unbearable.

Seth was sitting on the other side of his mother's bed holding her small frail hand as intra-venous lines delivered much needed nutrients to her painfully thin body. Bruises and cuts lined her arm and he couldn't believe that those arms once held him as a baby and again as a child.

"What, what is it, dad?"

"She – she just squeezed my hand," Sandy said.

"What?" Seth asked elated.

"She just squeezed my hand . . . it was very faint but I could've sworn she did it . . . come on Kirsten squeeze my hand again – come on honey," he begged.

Seth felt his hand being squeezed. However faint it was he felt it.

"Dad! Mom just squeezed my hand!"

"Did she?"

"Yeh it was faint but it was a squeeze."

"Come on Kirsten baby," Sandy prayed out loud.

"Come on mom."

They could see that beneath her eyelids that her eyes were moving erratically almost as if she was searching for something.

"That's it Kirsten, open your eyes."

Seth and Sandy both held onto her hands and tried to coax her out of her slumber into the waking world. Anxiously they bit their lips and spoke to her softly and pleadingly.

"That's it, that's it."

"Come on mom, you can do it."

Her eyes continued to flutter underneath her eyelids.

Then suddenly.

Her eyes flew open.

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**Ta-da there is the new chapter and I'm hoping to be updating regularly now but don't get your hopes up but I'm sure Ally will give me a reminder when I haven't updated in a while. Sorry for any spelling and grammar mistakes but I just wanted to get this up asap. Rock on.**


	21. Waiting For One Precious Sign

**I know that these updates are few and far between but please have patience as I am busy and stressed out from school. This is for Kelly and Marcia who celebrated their birthdays yesterday. It's not a happy chapter but it's an update which I said wouldn't happen for another Lough of months :P. I hope they like this.**

**Thank you all for your reviews and comments.**

**Disclaimer – I don't any OC character.

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"That's it, that's it."

"Come on mom, you can do it."

Her eyes continued to flutter underneath her eyelids.

Then suddenly.

Her eyes flew open.

Frantically her eyes circled her surroundings, again and again as she tried to make sense of where she was.

_'This isn't outside'_ she thought frightened. Her breathing became accelerated. She didn't understand what was going on. People were calling her name, they were saying her name. Then suddenly she made out two faces in front of her.

"Kirsten?" one asked softly with a touch of delight, "Kirsten do you know who I am? Do you know where you are?"

Frightened, she tried to hide her face and push herself back further into the mattress of her hospital bed but she couldn't.

"Mom? Mom, it's Seth," the second voice added, "Mom."

"Seth, go get the doctor and tell him that she's awake," Sandy commanded as he continued to try to calm down his wife.

Seth flew out the door and sprinted down the quiet corridor in search of Doctor Walker. Meanwhile, Sandy held onto Kirsten's hand as his heart pumped at a hundred miles a minute. 'Thank God she's awake' he repeated over and over.

She continued to struggle with the atmosphere of the private room and the harsh fluorescent colours of the flowers that decorated the room hurt her eyes along with the fluorescent lights of the hospital. Kirsten raised her arm up over her eyes to block out the light as it certainly didn't lead to anywhere; it wasn't the light that guided her down to the end of the tunnel. Noticing her agitation to the bright light, Sandy moved away from her side momentarily to turn the intensity down so that she could bear it.

He looked back at her.

After he had let go of her hand, she curled herself up into a protective ball on her side facing away from him. Her hands were curled up by her face and her knees were drawn up into her chest where she rested her head on them. He could hear that her breathing was shallow. It pained him to see her like this, so defensive and scared.

'_Doesn't she know where she is? Doesn't she know who I am_?' he thought.

Slowly, he made his way towards her. Slowly, he made his way around the side of the bed so that he could see her face. And bit by bit, he lowered himself down so that he was eye level with her. But when Sandy came down, Kirsten moved her face further into her self-imposed ball all the while shaking.

Was she cold? No, because she was under the blankets.

Was she scared? Why would she be scared, she's safe here?

"Kirsten?" he tried but it only served to push her further back into her cocoon.

Slowly, Sandy allowed his hand to float on the air as it inched towards her. His fingers trembled as they moved forward.

"Honey," Sandy whispered before his fingers touched her exposed hand.

Before he could register what was happening, Kirsten had burst out frantically. She screamed in fear as she flung her arms out to banish his hand while she moved off the bed to the floor beneath. Taking a defensive posture she looked around her almost as if trying to determine where the high-pitched noises were coming from.

"Honey, it's me."

Kirsten saw the door and thought that she could make it there before him but as she moved towards it, two people came in through it.

"Mrs. Cohen," one stranger said as he calmly approached her.

Looking at the other figure, she recognized him as the other person who was with her when she woke up. Kirsten looked from one stranger to the next frantically before backing herself into a corner where she sat down, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth while banging her head lightly off the concrete wall.

"Mom, please don't do that," Seth tried as she knelt down in from her to comfort her. But as he reached out to make her stop, she lashed out at him wildly.

"Seth, don't," Sandy warned, "step back, she's scared."

Seth did as he was told.

"But why, she shouldn't be scared, we're her family," he debated.

"Yes but we don't know what she had been subjected to mentally but we can see what they physically did to her," Sandy answered.

"Doctor Walker can't you do anything? Look at her, she's hurting herself."

"She really should be in her bed due to her ribs but I don't know what to do in this situation because if we move closer she'll lash out and if she moves too vigorously she'll do more harm to herself than good. I think it would be best to call in a psychiatrist to see if he can get her to stop. Mr. Cohen, what caused her to get up and head for the door when we came in?" the doctor asked.

"She had curled herself up into a ball when I lowered to lights as she was holding her arm up in front of her eyes. So I want back over to her to see how she was and when I touched her she just went bizerk and jumped off of the bed."

Just as they were about to continue discussing the next course of action, Ryan came by the window carrying Scarlett in his arms and entered the room. Seeing the three males and an empty bed, Ryan stood confused at the threshold of the door as Scarlett played with Whit.

"What's going on, where's Kirsten?" he asked.

Doctor Walker stepped aside and upon looking down, he saw a bruised and battered Kirsten in a small ball while rocking back and forth against the cold wall. Ryan was surprised to see that she was awake but was bewildered by her actions. He motioned forward but all three men stopped him dead.

"Ryan, don't," they all said softly yet firmly.

"Why not?"

"She's frightened and any interaction can cause her to harm herself further," Doctor Walker clarified.

"So what -are we just gonna stand here and wait until she cracks her head open?"

"No," Sandy replied.

"Doctor Walker said he'd call a psychiatrist to see if he can make her stop."

Ryan looked at Kirsten again and noticed that she had stopped. Now she was lying on the floor alongside the wall.

"I'm going to get a psyche consult," Doctor Walker said before leaving the room, "make sure to keep her calm."

"We will, thank you."

With that, three Cohen men and two Cohen women where left alone in a sterile and less than comfortable room.

"What do we do now?" Seth asked uncomfortably.

"I have no idea Seth."

"I think we should tell the others that she's awake but not fit to see anyone," Ryan suggested.

"Yeh ok."

They all headed for the door but once they closed it they looked back at the broken mother and wife on the floor.

"We can't leave her alone," Sandy protested, "I'll stay with her and you guys go on."

"Urm ok, are you sure?"

"Yeh, go. I'll be fine and so will your mom."

Hesitantly, Seth, Ryan and Scarlett moved away down the blank corridor back to where the rest of the family was waiting. Once there they delivered the awaited news.

Sandy gradually stepped back into the room. He paused after closing the door as he looked out of the glass into the world beyond. He wished for the real Kirsten to come past the window and tell him that he's got the wrong room or he wished that he would turn around and she would be awake and lying on the bed. Leaning his head against the cool glass, he turned around and looked for Kirsten.

She was still curled up on the floor.

On the opposite side of the room, he lowered himself down to the floor and leaned up against the wall. He rested his forehead into his palm as his thoughts tried to collect themselves. His mind replayed the seconds in which she burst out. In a flurry of motion, she had swatted his hand. Sandy could see the fear in her eyes as his hand touched her.

_'God, what she must have been through'_ he thought.

Her physical wounds may be on the long winding and hard road to recovery but her mental recovery was a different story. The path that that recovery would take could not be seen. It was going to be a very long recovery.

Sandy remembered when they had been told about her after she came out of surgery.

'_Mr. Cohen?' a voice called._

"_Yes?"_

"_Hi, I'm Doctor Mark Walker, I was the attending physician on your wife Kirsten," he introduced._

"_Yes, is she ok?"_

"_Mr. Cohen, there is no easy way to answer that question, but the only way that I can answer that is that she is alive, in a stable condition and resting comfortably in ICU."_

_All Sandy could do was simply nod._

"_Can we see her?" he managed to stammer._

"_Not at the moment, but in a few hours as these hours are the critical ones for her. We believe that she had been outside for a long time and considering the extent of her injuries, the weather would not have been good for her body or her immune system. "_

"_I see."_

Then he remembered one evening when he had privately asked how the doctor personally believed her recovery was going. Doctor Walker had rhymed off his usually medical jargon that didn't help much but then he mentioned her injuries.

Internal bleeding.

Cracked ribs.

Bruises.

Deep bruises. Lacerations. Burns. Cuts. Concussion. Vaginal tearing.

Sandy's heart stopped beating at the mention of the last one.

That could only mean one thing.

She had been raped.

Repeatedly raped.

_"Is she pregnant?" Sandy stuttered._

_"No she isn't. Allof these injuries are months old with the most recent aged at about 3 months so she hasn't been abused since then which is most likely when she escaped," he answered, "and we believe that these men were infertile so their sperm would not have caused her to get pregnant. But their treatment of your wife has caused her body great damage and it would be unlikely that she could ever conceive again."_

_Sandy was dumbfounded at this. His beautiful, talented and magnificent wife had been repeatedly raped and abused simply for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Standing still he could hear her screams of agony as they raped her, he could hear her cries and he could feel her soul disappearing._

Sitting across from her, he could see the fallen angel in front of her. She is choking back her tears and the men who ruined her life continue to reign happily in the world outside without giving a second thought to the woman in this hospital room.

"Kirsten I don't know if you can understand me and I don't know if you know who I am but I am here for you . . . I am here to look after you and to help you because you are who I love more than anything in this world. I'm here whenever _you_ need me. I'll be here for ever; I'm not leaving you . . . because I love you."

He was waiting for one precious sign.

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**Ta-da new chapter. Savour it because it'll be a while before I update again. I'm sorry for not updating much but I hope you understand that it's not intentionally and simply due to school obligations. Rock on.**


	22. Is She Totally Frozen With Fear

**Hey, I'm absolutely bored and I don't want to study so I thought I'd update something. Happy Easter to you all and thank you so much for your continuing support.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own any OC character.

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It had been several days since Kirsten had woken up. She was still very withdrawn into herself and hadn't made any contact with any of her visitors. Seth and Ryan came and went, back and forth almost in shifts so that Scarlett had one of them around to look after her. They boys were worried that seeing their mother in such a distressed state would adversely affect her. Sandy had agreed as well.

Caleb had made sure that only the best doctors saw his daughter. No med-student were to come near her and those who did had to have a doctorate under their belt to prove that they were in fact capable to look after his daughter. In the hours that he spent in the hospital, Caleb could have sworn that he heard his wife's voice. He could have sworn that she was telling him to look after her.

It scared him.

Those were the last words that she had spoken to him.

'_Look after our girls . . . look after Kirsten_'

In Kirsten Cohen's room, a person lay curled up on the mattress without the comfort of a blanket to keep her frail body warm. Her hands were curled up by her face and her limp hair draped over her eyes. In this contorted pose, the many bruises and lacerations were evident and in clear few on her arms and legs.

Her skin was practically clinging to her bones with whatever energy it had left. She was literally a skeleton and the nurses had tried everything to get her to eat the tiniest morsel of food. However, whenever someone came close to her, she would withdraw further into herself or lash out in fear of the strange person.

Kirsten could hardly recognise her family.

The Cohens had realised this when the doctors believed it to be best that they try to coax her to eat because she was hurting herself through her self imposed starvation. Sandy moved closer and closer to her. He thought that he would be successful considering that distance she let him came. But just as he placed a hand on the bed, Kirsten swung her leg out and kicked his arm away. As soon as she had kicked him, she recoiled and curled up tighter whimpering in fear.

Nothing worked.

No one could get through to her.

Not even the psychiatrist that came to see her could break the wall she constructed.

She just lay on the bed like a stone. Her skin was so cold that goosebumps popped up everywhere. Her body involuntarily shivered and shuddered yet she refused the offer of a blanket.

Today was no different.

Every time someone tried to talk to her the only thing she heard were the detrimental voices of Bill and Gary Truman. It was the same voices, the same tones, and the same tinge of hatred dripping from every word. Every time someone came near her she feared for her life and even with her outbursts, she was afraid of the ritual punishment that followed.

It was clear that Kirsten had no awareness of where she was. To her she was still in the darkened room in the motel on her blood stained bed.

'_But wasn't I just outside?_' she had thought a hundred times.

Kirsten was thinking in circles.

'_No, no being outside must have been a dream, I couldn't've been there – they wouldn't have let me,_' she thought finally, _'I'm still there_'.

Keeping this is mind; she pulled her legs up closer to her body and began to breathe.

Sandy was sitting across from her and would have given anything to know what was going on in her head. But he didn't know anything.

He didn't know why she would not respond to him.

Or her family.

He didn't know anything.

All he knew what that his dream had been shattered.

He dreamt that when they found her, she would run into his arms and kiss him like she had never kissed him before. Then they would go home and he would help her in any way that he could. But it wasn't that rosy and it definitely wasn't that simple.

His mother had been right.

His mother was trying to open his eyes and to make the impact of this Kirsten before him less intense.

Yet, his wife was destroyed and had barely uttered a word or made a sound to anyone since awakening.

A soft knock on the door awakened him from his reverie and he looked to see Summer stepping into the room quietly.

"Hey Mr. C," she greeted.

"Hey Summer."

"No change?"

Even though it was worded like a question, it was more or less a general statement.

"No . . . no change," he replied blankly.

"Sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for Summer."

Summer smiled lightly before looking at Kirsten on the bed.

She was a far cry from the Kirsten Cohen she knew and had grown up around - the blonde talented daughter of Newport tycoon Caleb Nichol and the heir to his fortune. Over the years Summer had grown closer to Kirsten through staying over at Marissa's and bumping into Kirsten and recently more closely due to her relationship with her son.

The chic and glamorous Kirsten Cohen had been reduced to a mere shell of what she once was. She was basically another piece of meat for Bill and Gary to abuse and Summer knew that they would have been sick enough to watch their appeals for her safe return when all throughout she was there with them.

"Hey Sandy, why don't you go and get some rest and a shower . . . I mean you're no good to her exhausted because my therapist says that exhausted people make other people feel exhausted so you need good vibes and energy to help her."

"Is that so?" Sandy smiled faintly.

Summer returned his smile.

"Go, I'll sit with her and call when and if something changes."

Sandy sat still.

"Go . . . . go."

"I'm not going to win this am I?"

"Nope," she replied confidently, "now go, come on . . . get a shower, get some sleep and eat something too . . . and if you haven't done all those I won't let you back in here."

Summer pulled him gently up out of the chair and began pushing him towards the door.

"Do I have to do them in that order?"

"Ok sarcasm doesn't work on me . . . so vaminos! I'll take care of her."

Sandy paused at the threshold of the door and turned towards Summer.

"Thank you Summer."

"You're welcome."

With taking one last look at Kirsten, Sandy bowed his head and slowly walked down the quiet hallway and out of the hospital. Summer watched him solemnly walk away and she could only imagine what thoughts were running through his head.

Collecting her own thoughts, she turned back around and closed the door to the room.

Calmly, she sat down on the seat that Sandy had just left and started to flick through a magazine that had been placed on the table beside it. A vase of daisies had been set there so that they were in Kirsten's line of sight.

Page after page Summer devoured the captions beneath the numerous celebrity pictures and successfully matched the celebritiy's nose to the correct face. Once she was through, she read her horoscope and naturally she didn't believe it but there was a sentence that caught her eye.

'_You will help a friend in need'_

In her mind, Summer wondered what that could mean.

Was it referring to Seth?

Ryan?

Scarlett?

Sandy?

Closing the magazine, she let out a sigh and rubbed her hands over her jeans as she looked around.

Suddenly, Kirsten let out a cough.

It caught Summer's attention immediately.

"Mrs Cohen?" she asked, "are you alright?"

'_Shut out or I'll come in there!_' Kirsten heard instead of Summer's light voice.

Kirsten curled up even tighter so that her lungs wouldn't case her to cough again

Something suddenly dawned on Summer.

Quickly she scooped up her handbag and began to search adamantly through it.

She pushed her lip-gloss, purse, mirror, cell phone and whatever else she had in there to the side.

'_God my bag is like that ugly looking carpet thingy Mary Poppins had_' she thought to herself.

"Got it," she whispered finally.

Summer slowly brought out the thing that she had searched for out into the open. She placed her handbag back down on the sterile floor as her palm held the item.

Cautiously, she approached Kirsten.

"Mrs Cohen?" she tried softly, "Kirsten? It's Summer . . . um I have something for you."

'_Right bitch, it's Bill this time. You've made too much noise and now I have something for you!_'

"I don't know if you know I'm here but I am and Scarlett gave me this . . . she said that it was yours . . . I found it the day after you went missing . . . it belongs to you."

'_Gary gave me this new toy to try out with you . . . it'll hurt like hell but hey . . . I don't . . . _belongs to you'

However the end of that sentence was blurry to her and someone else's voice came into it.

She knew that voice.

Whose was it?

Out of the corner of her eye she saw someone approach her.

"This is yours Kirsten . . . and it's Summer, I'm here . . . I forced Sandy to leave but he'll be back," Summer said.

Summer managed to get to the side of the bed without Kirsten so much as flinching.

Slowly and delicately, she placed the item down on the white sheet that Kirsten lay on. Once it was on the material, Summer gradually moved away and took her seat again where she looked upon Kirsten again.

Thoughts roamed Summer's head endlessly about how she could continue to support Seth.

She could look after Scarlett. She loved the little munchkin.

She could be there whenever he needed someone.

She could take him and Ryan out and get some air and take a walk.

She would do anything.

Plans and ideas started to formulate and come together in the hours that she had been sitting with Kirsten.

'_God I'm thirsty_' she thought, '_maybe I can get some water?_'

She got up from her seat but just as she was on her feet, Kirsten's hand twitched.

Summer thought that her eyes were playing tricks on her so she continued to watch Kirsten.

Then suddenly, Kirsten's hand moved again.

And again.

And again.

Before she knew it, Kirsten's hand was gradually moving across the cotton sheet towards the silver bracelet that she had placed on it hours before hand. Kirsten's wrist was angled awkwardly and her arm pushed it forward along on its knuckles before coming around the bracelet. Her battered and scarred fingers scooped at the piece of jewellery and pushed it back towards her. Once it was close enough, Kirsten held it to her body before rocking slightly.

Summer smiled happily as the first brick in the wall that Kirsten had erected was removed.

It was only a matter of time before Kirsten herself was unearthed.

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**Woohoo an update. Yay, I hope you enjoyed it and I actually proof read this one :P. Comment and review and rock on!**


	23. I Wish It Were Simple

**New chapter up and I'll try to update it more often but exams are about a month away so I'll be kinda busy but I'll try my best. I love you all for commenting and reviewing.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own any OC characters.

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Sandy lay passively on the hotel bedroom staring at the blank white ceiling above him. The textures on the roof pulsed with the heartbeat that he prayed was still alive inside Kirsten. Even the lamp that was on the bedside table throbbed in unison with the patterns on the roof.

The heartbeat in his body increased in intensity so that he could literally feel it trying to cross across the expanse of his chest. His mind couldn't focus on anything but Kirsten. As he stared at the roof, the patterns moved and formed the outlined of her body curled up on the hospital bed.

That cold, sterile hospital bed that wasn't their comfortable and warm bed in their house.

It didn't have their seven thousand thread count Persian sheets.

This bed that he lay on wasn't theirs.

He kept thinking about Kirsten and how he longed to hold her in his arms.

But before he could continue thinking about her the shrill of his cell phone interrupted his thoughts.

Lethargically he took out his bleeping cell phone from his pocket and raised it to his eye.

"Hello?" he answered without bothering to look at the caller I.D.

"Hey Mr Cohen," he heard Summer's voice respond.

"Summer?" he sat up instantly, "what's happened? Is everything alright?"

"No, yeh everything's fine I'm just calling cuz I thought that you would like to know that Kirsten has responded to us."

"Really? How?" Sandy prodded.

"Well – she responded to me erm I set a bracelet on the bed-"

"Wait, you got close to her?"

"Yeh"

"Ok, continue Summer."

"I put the bracelet down and after a few seconds she took it."

"Took it?"

"Yeh, she erm hugged it to herself kind of," Summer clarified.

"Ok, Summer I'm on my way back."

"Ok, see you when you get here."

"Thank you Summer."

"You're welcome."

With that he hung up and his thoughts ran at a mile a minute.

She responded.

Kirsten responded.

Kirsten responded to Summer.

Would she respond to me?

These thoughts circled round and around in his head as he walked briskly out of his hotel room and across the hall.

He knocked quickly on the door and waited.

Ryan answered.

"Hey," Ryan said.

"Hey guys," Sandy replied walking in, "Erm I'm heading back to the hospital, I just got a call from Summer saying that your mother responded to her.

"What? That's great," Seth said.

"Yeh, it really is," Ryan added.

"So I thought that you boys should know and if you want to come back to the hospital with me cuz I'm heading now but someone has to look after Red."

Ryan and Seth exchanged a look. Both of them wanted to go and see Kirsten because a major break through had just been made. Kirsten's self-imposed protective shell had been cracked and they were one step closer to bringing their mother back.

But someone had to look after Scarlett.

Sandy had become much more protective since Kirsten's abduction. If the Princess of Newport Beach could be abducted then anybody can. He imposed new rules on the children and it was that they always had to be together when out and about. They were not to separate and that someone always and he meant always had to be with Scarlett.

She was an active toddler just like Caleb had said Kirsten was.

Sandy was afraid that Scarlett would wonder off and next thing they would know was that she was missing. Scarlett was his miracle daughter and Kirsten's wish before she was born was that she would be taken off.

She was their princess and she was definitely treated like royalty. Just like Seth had when he was born.

"I'll stay here with Lettie," Ryan offered.

"No, I'll stay," Seth argued.

"Seth, I'm not offering, I'm saying. I'm staying here with Scarlett and you are to go to the hospital to see Kirsten."

"But Ryan-"

"No buts ok unless it's me kicking yours out that door, now go."

"Ok . . . thanks man.

Sandy and Seth both left the hotel room, leaving Ryan with a content Scarlett lying asleep on the mattress holding onto Whit with her thumb naturally in her mouth. Ryan couldn't help but think of Kirsten when she was little and wondered if she lay like Scarlett.

Meanwhile at the hospital, Summer had inched her chair closer and closer towards Kirsten and she was now sitting opposite her.

Kirsten was still curled up tightly on the bed with the silver bracelet close to her chest but something about her had definitely changed Summer thought.

She hadn't moved.

She hadn't changed her facial expression.

But there a sense of realisation.

A sense of contentment.

Before she could put her finger more fully on what had changed about Kirsten, she heard Seth's voice echoing through the hospital corridors.

'Cohen' she thought shaking her head, 'only he could make a noise in somewhere where quiet is preferred'.

Then Sandy and Seth appeared at the door rather exhausted.

"Hey," Sandy breathed.

"Hey," Summer repeated, "are you guys ok?"

"Yeh, dad just decided to practically run the whole way here and he doesn't understand that his Jewishness prevented me from being an athlete," Seth retorted.

"Ok."

"How is she?" Sandy asked.

"She's good yeh erm I managed to get closer to her and sit with her," Summer said, "you can try if you want."

Sandy slowly made his way towards the empty chair beside Kirsten. He started off at a slow pace.

As he approached he began to speak to her.

"Kirsten honey?"

'_Bitch!'_

"It's Sandy . . . Seth and Summer are here too . . . do you know where you are?"

'_I ain't playing around here, you know we're here so get your fucking lazy ass off that bed or by fuck I'll hurt ya something fierce'_

As the voice got closer and closer she curled up tighter and let out a subdued whimper.

"Kirsten?"

'_Whore!'_

She turned her face away from the outside world and into the mattress beneath her.

"Summer, what's wrong? You said she responded."

"She did . . . try going slower," she suggested.

Sandy walked slower towards Kirsten but just got even more distressed.

"Dad, stop," Seth said as her heart monitor began to beep wildly indicating her unease at his presence.

Sandy looked between his son and his wife and realised that it was better for her health if he backed off and that was just what he did. Slowly, he stepped back and rejoined Summer and Seth by the door.

"Summer, you try it again," Sandy asked.

Slowly, Summer walked towards to empty seat and sat down as the two Cohen men watched.

Nothing happened.

There wasn't a bleep from the machines.

There wasn't a distressed movement from Kirsten.

Nothing.

"What's wrong?" Seth asked confused.

"I dunno son."

"Maybe you startled her with the way you came in, all strung up . . . so maybe you should go for a walk and then come back. More if you are more relaxed and not so tense then you can get through to her," Summer suggested.

"You've been reading that article in that psychology magazine in the waiting room haven't you?" Seth said.

"I skimmed through it."

"Well it sounds like a plan," he added.

"I'll stay with her."

"Ok, Summer, we'll be back soon."

"Ok, Mr C."

Sandy and Seth quietly left the room and the atmosphere returned to a calmer more subdued setting.

Kirsten was still curled up in a ball but Summer noticed that her face was facing outwards yet her hair was across her face.

"Is de sel?" she muttered.

"What?" Summer asked soothingly, "Kirsten what did you say?"

"Is this hell?"

Her voice was very weak and broken but her words were clear.

'Is this hell?'

"No, no Kirsten, it's not . . . you're in hospital . . . you're going to be fine."

In her waking hours she saw familiar faces but the voices that came out of their mouths were not theirs.

She saw Sandy but Bill and Gary's voice screamed at her from their lips.

She saw her family but she couldn't understand the words that they were saying.

But with Summer it was different.

There were no detrimental voices.

No screaming.

Just a teenage girl.

"Why – aren't I – dead?" Kirsten asked whimpering.

"Someone saved you; we want you here with us."

"I want to die."

"What?" Summer asked stunned.

"Help me die."

Was Kirsten really asking this of her?

Did Kirsten really want to die?

"Kirsten – no you don't . . ."

"Pain . . . so much pain," she cried.

"I know – I'll get a doctor for you."

"No!"

"You don't know what you're talking about . . . come on, look at your amazing family, do you really want to do that to them? Kirsten, think about it, they missed you so much and they love you so much. You don't wanna do this, you don't mean this."

Kirsten started to rock herself on the spot, back and forth, back and forth.

Summer couldn't see what she was doing but Kirsten was clawing at her healing wounds. Her broken nails broke the protective scabs that had formed over her cuts and the blood underneath began to trickle out.

Summer didn't know what she was doing.

She was too preoccupied trying to comprehend Kirsten's request. She wouldn't even call it a request as it was too out of the question. All Summer knew was that she wasn't going to help her boyfriend's mother die. She knew that she probably endured some horrible ordeals but dying wasn't the way. If she was meant to die, she would have died in her short coma but instead she woke up.

She was supposed to be here.

She was supposed to live and to live on with her family.

Summer tried to think about what she will tell Seth and Sandy when they return.

There had indeed been a breakthrough.

Kirsten had responded and had talked to Summer.

Why though?

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**There we go, another update. Woohoo, I hope you liked it. It's nothing special but at least it's something. Rock on!**


	24. Circle of Lies

**Yay, another update once again and this one will be the last one for four weeks because I am officially on study leave from school for my exams. I will update once they are over and regularly from then on. Thank you all for your patience and wonderful comments and reviews.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own any OC character

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Sandy and Seth had decided silently to take a walk outside the claustrophobic hospital to enjoy some fresh cool air. The cool breeze sifted through their fingers that lay idly by their sides and whispered through their hair as they strolled along the path mirrored by grass. Green and lemon tinged blades of grass swayed methodically in the wind and the tulips, daisies and other gently coloured flowers danced slowly to the sound of the breeze.

'_Kirsten would love this'_ Sandy thought.

The gentle sun lightened their pale complexions as they had not been outside much since Kirsten's hospitalisation. He remembered the long walks he had had with Kirsten along the beaches in Newport with Scarlett in her arms and when she was pregnant with Seth through Berkeley.

Sandy looked to his side and watched as Seth shuffled beside him with his head bowedsadly and face frozen his thought.

Immediately his thoughts turned to his other children.

Ryan and Scarlett.

He took his cell phone out of his jacket pocket and dialled Ryan's cell phone number. He held the phone to his ear and listening intently for the dialling tone to stop.

In the hotel room, Ryan was watching over Scarlett as she lay on the bed with her thumb in her mouth. The sunlight filtering through the blinds reflected off her blonde hair and hightlighted her pink jumper and her tiny pink converse booties. He was amazed that she was his little sister in a family that he didn't know three years ago. Suddenly he became aware of the familiar vibrations of his phone and quickly answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ryan," Sandy said.

"Hey Sandy, how's Kirsten?"

"Erm she's good, she's responding," he lied, "how are you and Scarlett?"

"Erm Scarlett's asleep, sorry if it took me long to answer, I put my phone on silent so that it wouldn't wake her again."

"Again?"

"Yeh about ten minutes ago she got upset and started to fidget in her sleep, I don't know what caused it so I didn't want to take any chances because she just got back to sleep again."

"Ten minutes ago?"

"Yeh."

It was ten minutes ago that he and Seth had been in the hospital room with Kirsten.

It was ten minutes ago that Kirsten reactedfearfully to their presence in the room.

Why did Scarlett get upset then?

"Sandy?" Ryan interrupted.

"Yeh?"

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeh I'm fine, erm just wanted to check in on you two and we're gonna go back to Kirsten now."

"Ok."

"Bye Ryan."

"Bye Sandy."

With that they both hung up their respective phones and concentrated on their respective girls.

Ryan took care of Scarlett whereas Sandy was trying to take care of Kirsten.

The beautiful weather of the area contrasted to his internal and external mood. At times Sandy tried to put on a strong façade for his family but everybody saw through it as easily as you can see through glass.

"Dad?" Seth interrupted quietly.

Sandy simply looked towards his son.

"Should we try to go back now? See if mom's ok?"

"Yeh . . . I was just thinking that."

Neither of them were in a rush to get back because they couldn't get Kirsten's fear out of their heads. With every step Sandy took and with every word he said, she curled up into an even tighter ball. They both knew that the woman lying on that bed was not Kirsten Cohen; she was just a little girl.

She was afraid.

Afraid was never a word that anyone would associate with Kirsten. She was always confident, elegant, everybody's friend and the one who always tried to see an upside but never scared.

The only time that Sandy had ever seen Kirsten scared was when the delivery with Scarlett when wrongbutshe feared for her child's life and not her own.

That wasn't fear.

It was bravery.

They had to try to bring back the woman that Kirsten once was even if she was a little different.

Before they knew it, their thoughts had clouded their perceptions and they were back outside Kirsten's hospital room. Calmly, Seth quietly pushed the door open and saw that his mother hadn't moved but Summer was now leaning down towards her and whispering to her.

"Summer?" Seth asked quietly to get her attention.

Slowly she looked up and gestured that she'd be with them in a second. Summer whispered one final thing to Kirsten and walked towards Sandy and Seth.

"Hey."

"Hey, how is she?"

"She's ok, she spoke."

"What did she say?" Sandy enquired.

"Erm, she just asked for some water," Summer lied.

How could she tell her boyfriend and Sandy Cohen that Kirsten had just asked her whether or not this was hell and that she wanted to die?

She couldn't.

So she lied.

"Is that it?"

". . . . yeh."

"Ok – I guess it's something," Sandy said.

"But . . ." she began.

"But what?"

"I had to call the doctor-"

"Doctor? What for?" Sandy and Seth interrupted in unison.

"She cut herself accidentally, she was fighting against the monitor sensor thingies and she caught herself on something and it started bleeding so I called a doctor to look at her but he said he'd send a nurse."

"Ok, that's good."

"Dad? Can I try talking to her?"

Sandy at Seth and considered his request. Then he looked at his huddled up wife. If she had responded to a teenager maybe Seth could get through to her too.

"I don't see why not . . . but at the first sign of distress-"

"I'll back off," Seth finished.

Cautiously the teenager approached his mother as his girlfriend and father looked on.

He shouldn't have to approach his own mother cautiously and in fear of causing her harm because she was his mother. He loved her and he knew all too rightly that she loved him. She was the overprotective one.

Now their roles had been reversed.

Seth now was the one who would protect his mother from the evil that tried to hurt her.

His Converse sneakers squeaked softly on the cold floor beneath his feet as he walked.

"Mom," he tried delicately.

She didn't react.

"Mom . . . it's Seth."

He continued to walk forward and Kirsten showed little or no distress.

Before he knew it, he was standing near the foot of her bed. They were surprised at how far he was able to come.

Cautiously, he leaned over sothat he could see her face to see if she would respond to seeing him.

But as he saw her face, he noticed that her eyes were closed.

"She's asleep."

"But she was wide awake a second ago."

"Could she be faking it?" Seth asked.

"Maybe."

Seth moved closer towards his mother and he was were Summer was when they entered.

"Mom?"

Nothing.

Then he tried something.

Slowly, he reached out his hand.

It moved as if it was being pulled by a thread partly against his will. His hand sliced the air like a dancer slices the air with their body to the rhythm of the music. He was almost afraid to turn her skin. The shades of blue, black and purple still covered her body and he feared touching her would hurt her even more.

But he knew that he would try to touch her as softly as possible.

His hand hovered over her.

"Seth . . ."

"Be careful," Summer finished.

Tenderly, his hand lowered down to her scarred skin.

_Suddenly she sat up screaming._

That was what Seth feared would happen but it didn't.

Kirsten just lay there as still as stone.

"Mom?" he asked worried.

Seth lowered himself down so that he was eye level with her.

"Mom, are you ok?"

There was no answer.

There wasn't any movement or murmur of any kind.

Then he saw something under her arm.

It was a maroon kind of colour – it was dark and the size of it was increasing.

Gently he lifted her arm but the limb nearly slipped out of hand but his reflexes stopped it from falling to the stiff mattress below. Retrieving his fingers he felt a warm liquid sensation on his skin.

Looking at it he saw the red wine coloured liquid on his fingers.

Blood.

It was blood.

He looked up at Kirsten's face and saw it paling before his very eyes.

"Dad! Mom needs help!"

"What's wrong?"

"She's bleeding . . . very badly!"

"Where's that nurse that was supposed to be here?" Sandy asked Summer.

"I dunno."

"Well that's just great Summer! She's supposed to be here and not letting her bleed out like this!"

Seth, meanwhile, was trying to rouse his mother and get something from her besides her stone complexion.

Summer opened the door and called to the nearest doctor who came running immediately with two nurses in tow.

After a whiplash diagnostic the doctor announced, "She's bleeding out!" and that the wounds had to be seen to immediately. But he left that job to the nurses as he exited the room.

Sandy followed him.

"Excuse me doctor?"

"Yes."

"I'm Sandy Cohen, I'm Kirsten's husband."

The doctor nodded.

"What happened?"

"Well judging by the wounds, your wife cut herself."

"Yes, she was struggling against the sensors she was attached to," Sandy said.

"No actually . . . judging by the wounds your wife cut _herself _intentionally -as in self-inflicted."

Sandy was dumbstruck.

Kirsten inflicted wounds on herself.

That would have meant that Summer had lied to him.

How could she do that?

But then again he had lied to Ryan about Kirsten's wellbeing.

It was circle of lies.

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**There is the new chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. Rock on!**


	25. Those Seven Words

**Hey all, I thought now was as good a time as any to update. Hope you aren't too angry that I haven't updated in absolutely ages. Exams have been over for about 2 weeks and I just wanted to recharge my batteries before getting stuck into writing again. I hope I'm not too out of shape :P**

**Disclaimer – I don't own any OC character

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Sandy paced back and forth outside the room where Kirsten remained unconscious. Her arm had been bandaged and was now lying softly across her abdomen. He looked up as he paced and peered through the blinds. She was lying there. Face pale and body frozen.

Kirsten had inflicted harm on herself.

She was the reason she bled.

Summer had lied to him about Kirsten accidentally cutting herself.

Why?

Summer and Seth were sitting across from him watching in agony as he paced the sterile floor. His shoes squeaked on the hard cold floor.

While every turn he made, they squeaked.

With every foot fall he made, they squeaked.

Seth yearned to be in an exam room where the only sounds where the scratches of pencils on paper and the tick tick tock of the clock drawing the time out in meandering beats.

His eyes followed his father back and forth.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

'God, I might as well be as Wimbledon watching the ball going back and forth,' Seth thought to himself.

Summer diverted her attention from her hands, to the floor, to Sandy's feet moving to finally looking up at the man himself. His head was done pondering thoughts that went through his head, all the while content that the muffled beeping of the monitor through the door was continually coming in regular intervals.

Summer looked through the glass and saw that Julie was in there sitting with Kirsten.

It was good that she had arrived the other day. Summer was feeling the strain of being the only female Kirsten seemed to be comfortable around. Although it had just been hours since Kirsten first spoke, Summer felt that being the sole woman around would hinder Kirsten's recovery and felt that Julie would be a handful sidekick. Although the Nana was there but Summer knew that the two women didn't get along and Scarlett was really too young at the moment and she knew Sandy wanted to protect Scarlett from seeing her mother like she is.

"So let me get this straight . . . the doctor said that Kirsten had intentionally cut herself whereas you said that she had accidentally caught herself on something," Sandy began addressing Summer, "so which is the truth?"

Summer looked through the window again.

"She didn't catch herself," she answered quietly.

"So you lied?"

She didn't answer.

"Why? Why Summer?"

"Because."

"That's not a reason."

"In my opinion it is."

"I'm gonna need a little bit more than that, she could have died."

"Dad," Seth interrupted before his father's voice grew any louder.

"I called a nurse-"

"But she didn't arrive until she had lost a considerable amount of blood and considering her frail condition she can't afford to lose any."

"I know that but you don't know why she did it do you? You don't know why she cut herself," Summer said standing up.

"If I knew that I wouldn't be here pacing the hell out of this floor."

"Well when she spoke . . . she asked me to help her," she trailed off.

"With what?" Seth asked.

"She asked me to . . . "

"What Summer?" Sandy pushed.

She looked in at Kirsten once again and saw her lying blankly with her blonde hair framing her face. She then peered down at the floor trying to find the words she needed to use.

Summer wanted to put it as easily and softly as she could but it came out in seven one syllable words.

"She asked me to help her die."

Sandy and Seth stood still dumbstruck trying to absorb the words fired at them.

Die.

Why would she want to die?

They just got her back and now she wanted to leave.

"No . . . no, she didn't say that. Kirsten couldn't say that," Sandy protested.

"She didn't Mr. C . . . I'm sorry."

"Kirsten wouldn't want that."

'_Well you try being abducted for a year, brutally raped yaddy yaddy yadda and let's see what you want!_' Summer thought.

"But I was there, I know what she said."

'_But you could be lying just like you did before_!' Sandy thought.

"And before you say it, I'm not lying," Summer said, "That is what she said. She asked first of all if she was in Hell and I said that she wasn't and that she was safe and . . . then she said that she wanted to die . . . she asked if I would help her die . . . I couldn't believe what she was asking and I refused to help her . . . that's why I think she cut herself, to do it herself."

"I can't believe it," Seth whispered.

"I know," Summer sympathised.

"Why did you keep this from us?"

"Because you were so happy that she was awake and alert, I didn't want to bring you back down to earth with a huge enormous welcome to reality bump."

A silence descended upon them.

No one spoke.

Only the thoughts than run through their heads provided any sound apart from the usual hospital noises.

Their own solitary voices trying to provide elusive comfort.

"I know it's heard to understand, but she's been through so much, a lot that we can't possibly know about or fathom," Summer whispered.

"Fathom?"

"Yeh I know big words too."

A small smile came upon Sandy and Seth's faces.

"Look, what I'm saying is, this Kirsten is different from the one we all knew but that isn't to say that she's gone for good. She may be hiding and that request may an act of fear saying that she may not want to go through recovery and to let anyone know what happened. She's scared."

"I'm sure I would be too," Sandy replied looking in at Kirsten.

"I'm sorry I kept it from you but I thought it was best."

Sandy nodded.

"Thank you for telling me now . . . excuse me," he gestured to them as he went back into the room to sit with Julie and Kirsten.

Seth was still dumbfounded.

He had agonisingly prayed to whatever deity he could think of for his mother's return and now Summer tells him that she wants to leave him again.

He thought that maybe this was his punishment for not praying to them sooner or not being a good enough son of for some other unknown unfathomable reason.

Seth had never wanted to think about death let alone where his mother was concerned. He was adamantly against her memorial as he wholeheartedly believed she was still alive and the fact that she is lying in the next room proved that he was right. His faith had seen him through.

Now, after this revelation, his faith has dwindled.

He didn't want to lose his mother again.

He knew that his father couldn't survive losing her again.

Seth didn't want his sister growing up without her mother now that she is alive.

It will be a long recovery but he was willing to go through the rapids of the turbulent course that it would be.

Kirsten Cohen was the strongest woman he knew.

If the past year didn't kill her, he didn't know what will so she would be strong enough to recover.

She just had to be.

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**Voila! There it is. The new chapter. Pretty crap and short but I'm getting back into the whole swing on things. Rock on!**


	26. Enjoy the Silent Memories

**I apologise profusely, I am in the grasps of writer's block and it is so difficult to wrestle with but hopefully I have a half decent update here.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any OC character.**

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Sandy sat lethargically on a cool bench in the shade of a park in Berkeley that he and Kirsten used to stroll along after a date or on warm days.

He looked down the path that he had just walked along and saw the faint image of him and Kirsten walking hand in hand happily, with silly smiles on their faces. He would lean over occasionally and whisper a sweet nothing in her ear or place a light kiss on her hair. All Sandy knew now was that those were simpler times.

Now, he had a traumatised wife in hospital who won't let a man within feet of her without getting distressed.

Sandy was pulled out of his nostalgic moment when a soft giggle reached his ears.

He looked towards it and saw his daughter sitting complacently on the emerald green completely entranced by the white and yellow faced flowers that sat around her. Her little fingers reached out and ran over the soft petals and giggled at their touch.

She looked back at her father beaming and he smiled back at how she saw things in such an inquisitive way.

"You little those sweetie?" he asked crouching down beside her.

She answered by picking one up and holding it out for her father to take.

"You know what these are called? They're called daisies," he continued taking the blossom from the child, "your mom . . . your mom used to buy big large daisies and she'd place them in a vase in our room and then . . . then she'd take a single daisy and place it above your bassinet . . . so that you would have something lovely to always look at besides the ceiling."

He chuckled to himself at the end of the last sentence.

'_Aww Sandy they're beautiful'_ he heard her say behind him as he remembered giving her a bunch of daisies one night.

"Daisies were your mom's favourite flowers," he told Scarlett.

'And I guess they are yours too'.

Sandy looked at the small plant in his hand and rolled the stem in his fingers a few times. Rolling it back and forth, back and forth. Then he looked at Scarlett. He saw how the sunshine bounced off her golden hair and how content she was playing in the sun. Gently he placed the daisy she had given him into her fair locks.

Another flashback came to him.

_Kirsten and Sandy were sitting right at this very spot that he and Scarlett now occupied. They were both lying on a blanket huddled together watching the world beyond their feet move with the time. Kirsten rested her head on his shoulder and his arm was wrapped around her and they basked in the glow of the sun. She reached across him and picked up a growing daisy and twirled it around in her fingers for a few seconds. She looked up at him and smiled before placing the stem in the wilds of his black mane whilst letting the flower poke out._

"_There, now you look cute."_

"_I didn't before?"_

"_No . . . you looked handsome then and a bit like a dork but now you look cute," she replied._

"_A dork huh?"_

"_Well . . . a loveable one."_

"_Really?" he asked seductively._

"_Yeh," she answered leaning up to kiss him._

Then the memory vanished again into the recesses of his mind as he heard a voice call him.

"Mr Cohen!" it called again.

Sandy looked around perplexed as to who was calling him.

"Mr Cohen!"

Then the source came into view.

A woman came running up to him but then he saw what was following her. Two men. One with a sound boom and another with a camera wielded to his shoulder.

They were reporters.

"Mr Cohen, could we get a comment?" she asked.

Aggravated, Sandy lifted Scarlett up into his arms and walked in the opposite direction from the reporters who were now following him.

"Mr Cohen could we get an update on your wife's condition? Is she recovering well?" she hounded repeatedly.

Sandy continued to walk away with Scarlett safely in his arms.

"Mr Cohen what is your wife's condition?" she repeated as she managed to stand in from of him where the cameraman promptly joined her.

This was the last thing that he wanted right now. All he wanted was to enjoy a day out around Berkeley with his daughter showing her places that he and her mother had enjoyed so many years previously. But he wasn't allowed to do that because the media hounded him.

It wasn't bad enough that reporters were camped outside the hospital waiting for news because she was the story of the moment – abducted princess of Newport Beach returns with horrendous wounds, turn to page 3 to find out more. But now, they were harassing his family and they had to sneak around to avoid them.

It was hard enough to see Kirsten the way she was without the added pressure of cameras and microphones being thrown in their faces.

"No comment," was all he was able to say.

"Mr Cohen, everyone is anxious to know how she is. We want to know-"

"Want to know what? Do you want to know exactly what happened to her? Well I'm afraid no one is privy to that information."

"But Mr Co-"

"Look, I know that Kirsten is front page news to reporters but she's my wife. The media have plagued my family throughout year and increasingly in the past month. Just because you went through it with us doesn't mean that you can come into this," he said in a sincere and heartfelt way trying to not sound angry because he knows that the media would try to twist it into something that it wasn't, "I would appreciate it if the media would stay out of this."

Scarlett was looking around and saw the large machine being pointed at her. The round black thing was disturbing her as she thought that it was attached the man's head. She started to squirm and cry softy in Sandy's arms.

Sandy instantly became aware of her behaviour and managed to get past the reporter and her associates.

"Hey sweetie . . . what's wrong? It's ok, everything's ok sweet pea," he cooed as he gently rocked her, "what? What was it? Did you not like the camera?"

He knew that she would not fully answer him because she was like Kirsten and he knew that Kirsten was a private person and so Scarlett would be the same.

Sandy continued to rock her gently until her cries settled.

"Shall we go see Ryan and Seth huh? Should we go see your brothers? Huh?"

He walked the distance to the hospital due to the fine weather that Berkeley have been blessed with. Along the way they were both subjected to looks and whispers of, "That's Sandy Cohen" and the further clarification whispers of, "his wife was abducted last year."

Eventually they arrived at the hospital and Ryan, Seth, Summer and Marissa were sitting facing each other in the waiting room with their legs curled underneath themselves.

"Hey kids," he greeted softly as he joined them pulling up a chair and setting Scarlett down with the collection of toys.

"Hey, how's it going," they responded gently.

"Not too bad, I took Scarlett out to the park and to see a few places."

"I bet that was nice, and I can see Scarlett picked up something in the park . . . a little daisy. I love daisies," Summer said.

"My mom does too," Seth replied.

Scarlett set the soft tiger toy back where she got it from and stood up. She looked around at her surroundings.

The others were all talking to each other and in deep conversation.

She decided to walk down the hall that she had seen others disappear down so many times before. Placing one small foot in front of the other she made her way down the sterile hall. All she seemed to see were white walls and white floors.

Then she stopped in front of a door.

She pushed against it lightly and it budged slightly. Pushing harder, it opened further and she disappeared into the room beyond. Once there, her eyes explored the room above and around her. The lighting was dimmer in here than it was in the hallway but was saw everything around her.

Small tiny beeps reached her ears and she was intrigued by them.

Scarlett saw something move on the bed before her.

Her tiny feet brought her forward towards the chair that was sitting beside the opposite side of the bed. When she arrived there, she wiggled herself up onto the chair which was low enough for her for do so.

The chair was close enough for her to lean onto the bed from it.

Curious, she looked at the form lying before her.

She pressed against the mattress lightly to get better views.

The person before her opened her eyes and looked at her curiously because her jostles had apparently woken her.

Their identical blue eyes matched each other stare for stare.

Her larger but frailer hand approached Scarlett's smaller softer hand and took it in hers.

Then her hand cupped her cherub cheek and brushed against her soft halo of hair.

"Scarlett," the woman's voice whispered, "Scarlett."

Slowly, the person got up to sitting before lifting Scarlett onto the bed to join her where they lay down together.

Scarlett's little fingers reached out and touched Kirsten's healing but darkly coloured face.

"My little girl," the voice said.

"Mommy," Scarlett smiled before she cuddled up to Kirsten.

Comfortable after their reunion, they both fell into a gentle slumber. Content and enjoying the silence between them.

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**Ta da. Another chapter. A crappy one but I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar ones. Rock on :)**


	27. Same Case Scenario

**Yet another delayed chapter.**

"They have no respect for us, least of all for your mother," Sandy complained, "and how is this all going to affect Scarlett, having cameras and recorders pushed in her face every time she's out the door. Vultures."

"Oh, you just said that exactly like that old guy in Independence Day when they were like looting in his area," Summer gasped.

Everyone looked her.

"Well you did."

"Thanks Summer . . . for trying to lighten the mood . . . I'm just trying to protect Scarlett cuz we don't know how this is going to affect her."

As Sandy spoke, Marissa looked down at the floor immediately beside where Sandy was sitting and noticed a vacant piece of floor with a small toy sitting solitary on the cold surface.

"Speaking of Scarlett, she's kinda gone AWOL," Marissa commented.

"What?" Sandy asked confused.

Marissa motioned for him to look beside himself.

Sandy followed her gesture and looked to his side. He expected to see his blonde daughter lying on the floor playing with some random toy that caught her eye, or trying to chew the ear of a stuffed animal.

He didn't see that.

His eyes were met with a monotonous sterile piece of floor. A blue and green toy was left discarded and lying innocently on its side waiting for another child to come and pick it up.

"Scarlett?"

Frantically, he whipped his head around the back of his chair.

She wasn't there.

He tried underneath and between the legs of the chair in case she was hiding on him.

Nothing.

"Scarlett?" he asked again looking around.

"Did anyone see her leave?" Seth added.

"No," was their collective response.

"That's great," Sandy cursed under his breath as he searched the waiting room area, "Scarlett."

Ryan and Seth helped search the immediate area whereas Summer and Marissa split up to cover the adjacent corridors both crouching over while looking for a twenty month year old.

"Red?" "Lettie?" "Little bit?" were all the names called in the attempt to find her.

"Scarlett, come on honey you're scaring daddy," Sandy pleaded as he looked behind every piece of furniture in view.

"Hi sorry, you haven't by any chance seen a little girl, really small erm I dunno what height exactly but she's nearly two so not very tall, blonde hair, cute as a button face, have you seen her?" Summer blathered to a passing nurse.

"No I'm sorry honey I haven't," she replied, "but I'll ask around and let you know ok."

"Thank you very much," Summer answered quickly before resuming her search.

Meanwhile, Marissa was stalking the corridor that she chose and looked behind every thing that was located in front of her and peered in rooms that she felt she could look into.

Still there was no sign of Scarlett Cohen.

"Hey Sandy," a familiar voice annoyed her presence.

"Oh hi Em," he replied hastily.

The woman surveyed the scene before her, three grown men looking around frantically searching for something.

She thought that Scarlett must have lost her teddy bear and everyone was looking for it but the frantic pace and look on Sandy's face spoke differently.

"What's wrong?"

"Scarlett's m-missing."

"What?" she asked immediately.

"She's gone – I set her down to play and was talking with the kids about the damned reporters and I turn around and she's gone!" he answered without taking a breath.

"Oh my god, I'll help look."

"Thanks, Marissa and Summer took those corridors," Seth added.

"Ok, I'll look down this one," she motioned before hastily moving down it before calling the infant's name.

With every step, the sterile floor of the hospital passed by and still no sign of Scarlett.

With every corner turned, their emotions began to run faster and faster.

First, Kirsten had gone missing and it turned out that she had been abducted simply for being at the wrong place at the wrong time and she had been missing for a year and brutally and savagely beaten. And now, her young daughter was missing in the very hospital that was treating her mother.

Tragedy seemed to lurk around the Cohens. The dark spectre tapping its fingers in anticipation, waiting for opportunities to present itself. Seth could almost image its dark figure lurking in the corridor, curling its long pointed finger calling to his baby sister.

None of them knew what they would do if this innocent angel had been kidnapped.

Their determination to find her continued to grow and grow.

The men decided to split up and cover more area of the hospital, each of them branching off.

Thoughts raced through Sandy's head.

'_I need you to make sure our baby survives regardless of me . . . please Sandy promise me'_

He had failed Kirsten. She had asked him to promise to make sure that their miracle child would be fine regardless of whatever happened and now he had failed. He didn't know where their daughter was and the worse case scenario was flashing between his eyes. In his ears he could hear the faint hysterical screams of the little girl as strangers lifted her. Her screams assaulted his sense from every direction. Sandy could see her normally shimmering blonde halo of hair being dishevelled and raked through with dirt while her tear streaked face and dead blue eyes looked helplessly around.

Then the worse image came to him.

He could see people easily lifting a white casket out of a church in the pouring rain as Kirsten followed, hollow, holding onto Whit . . . their daughter's favourite teddy bear.

'No, I'm not giving up, I can't' he scolded himself, 'Gotta find Scarlett, gotta find Scarlett, gotta find Scarlett.'

The space before him whizzed by in a blur as he kept an eye out for a little child. He blocked all the noises and all the voices from doctors and nurses conferring along the walls.

Sandy was in such a state that his heart nearly stopped when he heard his mobile ring.

Urgently, he rifled through his pockets searching for it. The incessant ring tone kept playing in it's annoying cheering way until he hurriedly flipped it open.

"Hello!"

"Sandy, it's Summer, I've found her."

"Oh thank god," he breathed almost falling to his knee relieved, "where is she?"

"You're not going to believe this, but she's with Mrs Cohen, she's lying here on the bed with Mrs Cohen."

"What?" Sandy whispered astonished, "I'll be right there, thank you Summer."

And with that, he quickly hung up and rushed back through the increasingly familiar hospital to Kirsten's room.

When he rounded the final corner that lead to Kirsten's room, he found the girls, Ryan and Seth all waiting outside the room.

"We didn't get as far as you," Seth answered the unspoken question, "She's in there."

Sandy turned and peered through the blinds into the darkened room and made out two sleeping forms. One of his wife Kirsten and the other smaller one of Scarlett curled up with her thumb in her mouth while Kirsten had her healing arm draped over her child.

Sandy smiled to himself.

He had waited to see this scene for so long.

When Scarlett was younger, she was too small to sleep like this with Kirsten, but now here it was before him.

The scene was extra special because he knew that Scarlett only sucked her thumb when she was totally content and there she was, with thumb in mouth on cue.

Looking at the Kodak moment, he felt it would be cruel to disturb them and as he really looked, he could see the first look of contentment on Kirsten's face. For the first time in the two months that she had been here, he knew that she was on the road to recovery.

Or was she actually as far along as he thought.

**Ok, throw at me what you may. I create so many twists in this thing that I don't know which way is out hehehe. Reviews are love. Rock on and I hope you still enjoy this fic.**


	28. Chrismukkah Miracle Take 3

**I apologise profusely at the tremendous lack of updates I have done for this fics. It wasn't intentional but I have had serious writer's block with my fics.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any OC characters.

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'_Last Christmas I gave my heart but the very next day you gave it away'_

Last Christmas, Kirsten was in an unknown place.

Her mind lost.

Her body broken.

And her Christmas spirit fading forever into the darkness.

This year, was different.

With Kirsten's apparent progress in her recover, the doctor's at Berkeley felt she could be released into the care of Newport's finest psychologists and medical personnel. Her words were few but her emotions were uncontrollable as she recalled her ordeal in bits and pieces to the therapist. Her physical scars may still be on the mend and she would have to wait for cosmetic surgery to repair the harshest injuries but her mind was beginning to return little by little.

Kirsten, in her eyes, stood on a path. Her feet together. Around her, she found herself in a dark wood and as her eyes scanned the ground before her, the path faded into the darkness. The darkness swallowed the path. The road behind her remained however. Kirsten couldn't see the path that she was supposed to follow.

How could she get out of this wood?

'_By taking it one step at a time, we can get through this'_, she remembered Sandy whisper.

_Kirsten woke up one night in the hospital back in Berkeley and gingerly padded her way through the sterile corridors evading everyone that patrolled the dark halls until she escaped its claustrophobic confines._

_Breathing it in dizzying fresh air, Kirsten moved over the damp silken grass until she found the small pond. She kneeled down and stared into the crystalline water. Taking in her reflection. She didn't know who that person was. Her eyes were fixated._

_When Sandy found her, still in that exact same spot the next morning, he asked her four simple words, "What do you see?"_

"_I don't know," was her response._

_As her eyes scrutinised the image, her fists raised and angrily attacked the watery icon. Again and again, over and over, her frail arms moved as her fists destroyed the picture. Sandy tried to subdue her. He attempted to hold her arms; he whispered her name over and over again._

"_Kirsten, Kirsten . . . come on Kirsten, calm down. Please."_

"_It's not me! It's not me!" she screamed repeatedly until her energy failed her._

_She collapsed into Sandy's waiting arms as her body became wracked with tears. Her fingers wrapped themselves in his jumper as her tears fell. Sandy was there for her with his arms holding her and rubbing her frail body._

Now she was back in Newport.

Her home.

Her residence was still a hospital.

Summer and Marissa were sitting with Kirsten as Ryan, Seth and Sandy sat idly in the waiting room.

* * *

"Hmm," Seth mumbled.

"What?" Ryan asked.

"What?" Seth repeated.

"What did you say 'hmm' about?" said Ryan.

"Oh, erm, I was just wondering this, you it's just an idea and I think it'll help mom a lot if we can do it but I don't know if we can cuz she hasn't been released from the hospital and we don't know when she will be, so it's just a possibility at this point and I don't want to get everyone's hopes up," he babbled.

"Seth!" Sandy interrupted, "son, slow down. What are on about?"

"It's Chrismukkah yeh or well it will be in a few days, right?"

Sandy and Ryan nodded.

"Are you saying we should bring Chrismukkah to the hospital?" Ryan asked making the conversation edge along faster.

"Close my Gentile friend, but I was hoping they could let us go one step further . . . . is there any possibility that they could let mom come home for Christmas and New Year's?" Seth proposed, "I mean, mom has seen nothing of hospitals for the past three months and I'm sure she's bored out of her skull seeing the same granite floor and white walls and beep beep beeping of those annoying machines, why can't they just stop beeping? Anyway, it'll be good for her and besides she'll be home and surrounded by family."

"That's a great idea," Sandy and Ryan replied in unison.

"I'm sure your mother will appreciate it and it'll be an exact special Chrismukkah because she is with us, safe and sound," Sandy added, "I'll talk to the doctors and hopefully get the ball rolling. How about you two go out and do some shopping for presents while I talk to them. I'll call you when it's a go. Ok?"

"Sure."

The three men stood up.

"How about we get the girls and ask them to help us get gifts for Kirsten and Little Bit?"

"Yeh and after you finish with the doctors you can sit with her."

"Sounds like a plan," Sandy commented.

The three men dispersed and went their respective ways.

* * *

"Oh my god!" Summer bellowed, "guys get over here!"

Everyone, converged on Summer and all appeared with a characteristic 'What?'

"I think I just found the best present for Mrs Cohen!"

"Ok, Summer, we're all right here, you know in front of you so you don't need to yell," Seth said ringing his ear.

"Shut up Cohen . . . anyway, look at this."

"And? Summer it's an empty frame."

"And you say you're artistic! God, Cohen, have an imagination much? It's a picture frame. And before you give me some Cohen-ish sarcastic remake, I don't wanna hear it. But here's my plan. We get a picture of everyone with Kirsten before . . . you know and put it in this beautiful frame and then . . . everybody does something . . . like write a letter to her or something personal. Oh! Make her something. Like Seth, you could draw something about how happy you are that she's back and here. Just go all uber comic and whatever," she explained animatedly.

"Aww that's sounds lovely," Marissa gushed, "that's just perfect . . . and we could give her a single flower each you know from the memorial we had, we could make a bouquet out of those same flowers because they all signified something."

"So you guys in?" Summer asked Seth and Ryan.

"I want this Chrismukkah to be perfect for mom . . . and with ideas like these . . . I'm sensing another Chrismukkah miracle."

A high-pitched tone permeated the air.

"Dude, you're pants are ringing."

Ryan fumbled around in his jeans pocket and retrieved his phone.

"Sandy, hey."

"Ryan, hey, listen, the doctors have agreed to let Kirsten come home for Christmas and New Year's and at the first sign of anything wrong, we have to bring her back to the hospital. Stipulations of 'bail' I'm afraid."

"Ok, great Sandy . . . everything will be ok and Kirsten will have the best Chrismukkah ever."

"Ok, Ryan. I'm gonna go in and sit with her for a while. They said we could bring her home tomorrow afternoon."

"That's great."

"I know, well tell the others to try and get the house cleaned up. I should be home in a few hours when visiting hours are over."

"Ok, Sandy. See you later."

"Bye kiddo."

Ryan placed his phone back in his jeans pocket while the others looked at him for the conversation summary.

"Ok, I'm sure you guessed that was Sandy . . . erm the doctors have agreed to let Kirsten come home from Chrismukkah and New Year's."

"That's awesome," greeted him from the others.

"Ok, that means Project Chrismukkah Miracle Take 3 is a go," Summer bounced, "Ok, we have to finish decorating the house and by 'finish decorating' I mean decorate the ass off that house. Candy canes, Christmas lights, gingerbread houses, tinsel, mistletoe, minnor-whatevers and candles! This has to be Lindsay's 'Welcome to the Family' decorating of her house times ten! Come on people we can do this!"

"Ok her enthusiasm is quite disturbing," Marissa whispered.

"Coop!"

"Sorry it is."

"Well, I'm gonna pay for this and then Cohen! You and Ryan go through your photo albums and find something we can put on this. Let's go and make Chrismukkah magic."

* * *

"Ok, honey you ready?" Sandy asked as he offered his arm to Kirsten.

Taking a deep breath, Kirsten looked at Sandy.

"Yeh . . . yeh I think I am."

"Honey, if you-"

"No, no. It's not that. Just – being out. People talk Sandy. And you've said the press followed you everywhere."

Sandy remembered having to protect Scarlett from the vultures of reporters that stalked the infant in Berkeley.

"Hey, hey. Kirsten, don't worry. I'm not going to let them hurt you. No one will let them hurt you and they don't know you're going out for a drive around Newport today ok. Trust me."

"I do."

"That's my girl, come on. I'm here with you."

With that, Kirsten took her steps along the dark path, not knowing what to expect.

"Ok here they come!" Seth whispered as he saw Sandy's car drive up the hill, "places!"

The Cohen house was immaculately decorated with decorations tastefully in every nook and cranny of the mansion and lights glowed in the backyard against the lowering sun.

As they stood in anticipation, they could make out their forms in the frosted glass of the doors.

They all held their breath.

The door glided softly open.

"In you go honey," Sandy gestured.

Timidly, Kirsten stepped softly along the floor into the house that was once so familiar.

As the main room came into view, the colours red, green and white caught her eyes and she was gently greeted with her family standing before her.

"Welcome home Kirsten," they chimed, "Happy Chrismukkah."

Her eyes continued to explore the room.

The tall elaborately decorated Christmas tree stood to her left and a star graced the peak.

Tinsel circled the delicate branches.

White lights highlighted the familiar angelic decorations.

She stepped forward towards the tree and took notice of one decoration.

Kirsten reached out her hand trembling and her fingers traced the ageing figurine.

Then her attention moved to a younger decoration and memories flooded her senses.

A feeling of safety soothed through her.

"Chrimukkah . . . Happy Chrismukkah to you all too," she said softly.

* * *

**Well, I'll update it soon. I promise. I have a pretty idea for the next chapter so stay tuned.**


	29. Ghost of Chrismukkah Past

**A little early New Year prezzie in anticipation of tomorrow night cuz I'm going out to do a spot of drinking :P any spelling, grammar mistakes, I apologise.**

**Happy New Year.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any OC character.

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The family had gathered around the prestigious Christmas tree in the Cohen living room. Smiles and beaming eyes looked at the large ensemble of presents that sat in anticipation, decorated with wrapping paper under the green bristles. Classic Christmas tunes filtered through the room softly from the nearby Hi-Fi system creating an air of Christmas.

It was a lot more pleasant than the previous year.

A listless and amicable exchange of feeble presents. A dinner consisting of staring at Chinese take out containers. They did their best to create a magical experience for baby Scarlett but with the loss of Kirsten, no one felt like celebrating Chrismukkah without the woman who put the joy into 'joyeux'.

Now, she was here with her family.

"Who wants to go first?" Marissa asked softly breaking the anxious silence.

"Mom? Do you want to open one first?" Seth asked Kirsten.

Kirsten's blue eyes looked at the presents before her. She could see some of the labels with 'Kirsten' sprawled on the card. Then her eyes scanned her family silently until she saw Scarlett hitting her small hands against Ryan's arms as she sat on his lap. Kirsten could tell, the infant was excited.

"No," she whispered, "I think Sc-Scarlett should go first."

"Ok . . . we'll let Red go first," Sandy added leaning towards the pile, lifting a present, "Ok, here we go. Scarlett's first Chrismukkah present."

Ryan took the present from Sandy's outstretched arm and handed the wrapped box to the young child.

"Here you go Lettie."

Her little cherub face lit up with excitement as her tiny hands took to the paper. Her fingers tore excitedly at the paper and she was pulling it off in bits and pieces until Ryan offered a hand. The paper came loose and was discarded behind him on the floor.

Scarlett's face turned to one of curiosity at the box before her. She swung her head around to look at Ryan and her hand tapped the box in wonder.

"Do you want me to help you open it?" he asked.

Scarlett frantically nodded and giggled, "Yeh!" whilst clapping her hands.

"Ok . . . here we go."

Slowly and teasingly he took the sellotape seal off the box and lifted the lid open.

She peered in immediately.

"Twigger!" she squealed.

She dived her hands into the box and pulled out the Tigger teddy bear they had bought her. The infant cuddled it to herself, wrapping her arms around its neck and kissing its nose repeatedly.

"Scarlett darling, what do you say?" Sandy said.

"Tankie Santa."

"Good girl."

"_Merry Christmas darling!" Kirsten heard in her ears as she lay curled up facing the dank wall._

_Kirsten could hear the cheesy Christmas music blare through the now open door. She could feel the loud vibes vibrate the thin mattress and her nose sensed the smell of vodka and beer fumes._

"_I said . . . Merry – Christmas!" she heard someone say spitefully._

_She pretended to be asleep._

"_Oy, bitch!" Bill yelled as her forced his knee into the bones of her spine that were jutting out of her skin, "did you 'ear me! And that isn't a question blondie!" he spat as he took a sip of his beer._

"_Oy, Bill!" Gary said as he approached the room, "I wonder what 'er family are doin', right at this moment."_

"_Yeh," Bill laughed maniacally," they's probably sitting before a Christmas tree . . . grateful that this bitch isn't with them! They's grateful that they didn't have to waste so much money on buying presents she no way deserves! You 'ear that? They don't miss ya! They never 'ave! You're just a waste of space to them love!"_

_Kirsten tried to ignore their words but on some level . . . she believed them. She believed that her family were enjoying their Chrismukkah celebrations without a second thought about her._

_Suddenly she felt the men roughly move her. She wasn't paying any attention but she knew they were doing what they always did to her after she felt her blanket being violently ripped from around her body._

_The next thing she knew was a cold liquid fall over her body._

"_Merry Christmas," they said sinisterly._

"Kirsten?" Sandy asked holding out a wrapped box, "do you wanna open a present?"

Timidly she looked at the gift before her.

"Sure," she whispered softly.

Shaking, she held the present in her hands. Her eyes caught the damage that Bill and Gary did to her hands and wrists. Slowly, her eyes moved back up to the present between her fingers.

She undid the green ribbon that was tied around it. Then, her fingers moved to the sellotape that sealed it. Taking special care she opened it. A part of her knew that it was irrational to go so slowly and to make sure that it didn't rip in the slightest way. She still feared Bill and Gary.

Eventually, she uncovered a green velvet box which opened to reveal a platinum necklace. The heart shape read on the back, 'Forever with you, love Sandy'.

"Thank you," Kirsten managed to whisper.

"Why don't you put it on," Summer suggested.

Kirsten nodded.

Sandy took the necklace from its box and undid the clasp. He reached it over Kirsten's head and pulled it back around her neck.

Kirsten felt a tightening of her throat.

As the necklace came closer and closer to her neck, her breathing increased in fear.

The necklace chain was no way coming near her throat as it had a long chain which reached to the middle of her chest, but she still felt a tightening of her throat.

She was panicking.

No.

She panicked.

"Stop!" she cried, "please don't."

She took Sandy's hands and raised them back up over her head.

She scrambled away from him and stood up frantically.

"Kirsten?"

Everyone could see that was clearly visibly shaken.

"Honey?"

Kirsten looked at everyone before her.

"Sorry," she whispered before turning around and running out of the doors behind her and up the steps to the backyard.

"Kirsten!" Sandy called after her.

"Dad?"

"Don't worry, I'm sure she's fine."

"Dad, no one who reacts like that to a necklace isn't fine."

"I'll go talk to her," Caleb offered as he moved to stand.

"No, I'll go," Sandy said as a matter of factly, "I need to. Just keep opening presents ok, just do it for Scarlett . . . you know keep up the atmosphere."

Then he left too following Kirsten's wake.

"Kirsten!" he called out into the California light, "Kirsten!"

He couldn't see her by the pool or in the immediate back garden area.

Worry filled him.

"Kirsten!"

He moved around past their bedroom along the grass.

His eyes frantically looked for Kirsten.

Then his eyes perked up.

"Kirsten?"

He could hear cries coming from nearby.

"Honey?" he looked.

"I'm sorry," he heard her cry from below him.

"Hey . . . hey, hey, hey," Sandy whispered as he lowered himself to the grass beside her.

She was leaning herself up against the wall behind her and in intervals banged her head against it seemingly giving herself comfort.

"Sssh," he soothed, "stop, stop, stop, stop."

He wrapped his arms around her but immediately he felt her tense her body up against his embrace.

"Kirsten . . . Kirsten . . . come on sweetheart," he whispered in her ear as he soothed her hair.

Tears and sobs wracked her frail body.

Eventually, she couldn't keep up her wall towards Sandy and let herself succumb to his embrace.

"Ssssh, it's alright . . . you're ok . . . I'm here sweetheart."

When her harsh sobs subsided Sandy rocked her gently back and forth like he did Scarlett when her cries softened.

"What's the matter? Do you wanna tell me? You can tell me sweetheart."

"It . . . i-it just brought back so . . . memories . . . the necklace was like – a-a rope around my neck . . . I felt like . . . I was being – strangled. They – they did that . . . they – they choked me and . . . it felt like that," she cried between straggled breaths.

"Ssssh, oh Kirsten sweetheart . . . I didn't know, I'm so sorry. I swear to you here and now, that I will not rest until these men get what is coming to them for what they did to you."

They remained in their embrace for several more minutes.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"For what?"

"For ruining Chrismukkah . . . for you and for everyone . . . especially Scarlett."

"Hey . . . it's not your fault. . . . you went through what no person should have to experience, you should not have had to go through that. It's not your fault ok and I don't want you to say it is your fault. We love you, I love you and we're not going to judge anything that you do. I'm here, you know that. I'm here with you . . . whether you like it or not, if you can put up with little jokes like that . . . I'm never gonna leave you."

"_We'll never gonna leave you!"

* * *

_

**Awww, wasn't that sweet of Sandy. Thank you to Karl Beattie for the inspiration  next chapter up soon.**


	30. Doesn't Seem So Good

Kirsten lay awake in the foreboding darkness of her bedroom as she stared blankly at the ceiling and watched the moonlight shimmer on the roof while it filtered complacently through the blinds. The only thing that she could hear was her pulse in her ear and the cricket song outside as they chirped merrily away.

"_We're never gonna leave you sweetpea."_

At the low maniacal growl, Kirsten jerked her head suddenly to her right. Usually, she would have been greeted by the sleeping form of her husband but she only saw an untouched quilt beside her. She wished that Sandy was there with her and not sleeping in the other room.

For weeks on end, Kirsten had been haunted by her abduction and torture. Memories plagued her when she closed her eyes and monsters jumped at her from out of the shadows during the day. She couldn't get away and she didn't know if she could ever talk about it or get past it. The only progress that had been made with the therapist was a series of nods and shakes of her head.

"_Night bitch."_

"Goodnight sweetheart," she remembered Sandy saying a few hours previously as he left her to sleep.

The soft absorbing bed beneath her body felt mistaken and the high thread count sheets that covered her and that were twisted between her fingers, felt unnatural. She got up out of the bed and walked towards the bathroom. Switching on the lights, she squinted harshly as she made her way to the sink. Once she regained her sight, she splashed cold water against her feverish face. The punishing liquid quenched the screams of her skin.

Kirsten then grabbed a nearby cloth and dabbed her face dry burying herself in the material.

As she straightened up, with the cloth against her mouth, her blank blue eyes caught her reflection in the mirror.

She didn't see herself.

She hasn't seen herself in a long time.

She saw grey decaying skin with web-like her and deep purple bruises and dark crevice like wrinkles. Her eyes didn't belong to her.

She pulled her gaze away from the mirror and looked at her hands that still held the damp cloth. Her fingers looked as dead as her face. They looked like bones covered in ash, scars and webs.

Nothing looked right.

Haunted now with her appearance, Kirsten solemnly walked back into the bedroom but paused when she saw the beautiful bed sitting there before her. She thought about her crumbling skin and hideous appearance and she heard what Bill and Gary had screamed at her.

"_You ugly bitch! You fucking ugly tramp! You don't deserve this bed! Why did we give a dirty whore like you a bed like this?"_ and with that they removed her cot for a month. They gave it back to her as a sadistic Valentine's Day present.

With these insults and beliefs swimming and repeating themselves around in her head, she couldn't bring herself to lie back down on the mattress. She remembered all the times that she and Sandy had laid there for hours on end in the morning. She recalled their love-making. She remembered it all. And she said goodbye to it as she knew Sandy would never be like that again with her looking at she did.

A monster.

Lowering herself, she lay down on down on the carpeted floor without a blanket to cover her frail body or a pillow to cushion her head. Kirsten attempted to settle herself and to get comfortable on her bones but they irritatingly dug into the carpet. She was so thin. Kirsten curled herself into a tiny small and equally curled her skeletal arm under her head to act as a pillow.

Little by little, she allowed her eyes to close and a dark sleep to creep in.

* * *

Several hours later, the warm light that was filtering in through the blinds awoke her from her sleep. Kirsten rose from the floor stiffly and walked into the closest and began to look for something to wear. To begin with, she eyed a pair of jeans and a vintage t-shirt and tried them on.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she saw the clothes beaming brightly and Heavenly but her deathly grey skin looked wrong. She saw how her collarbones jutted out from her chest and her fingers touched her neck which appeared to extend like a giraffe's. Immediately, without hesitation she changed out of Kirsten Cohen's ethereal clothes. Instead, she opted for a pair of cream unattractive trousers and an old worn jumper that covered her body.

After doing everything that she needed to do, she slowly made her way towards the kitchen but she could see that no one was there. Then she heard Sandy's voice coming from the next room.

"Seth, turn the volume up."

Kirsten moved along the kitchen towards the family room but remained hidden from everyone congregated.

" – main headline this morning comes from Salinas where police have in custody wanted brothers, William and Gareth Truman. There at the scene is Tara Ellis."

The image of the television changed to police officers escorted two men in handcuffs out of a motel room to waiting police cars. Kirsten's heart stopped dead in her chest and the sound of their names.

"William and Gareth Truman have been wanted by police for the abduction and rape of Newport Beach woman, Kirsten Cohen, sixteen months ago. The brothers abducted the mother of three and held her in a darkened room where the subjected her to acts which dare not be said. An attempt at a rescue of Mrs Cohen saw the brothers' escape but an anonymous tip-off to Salinas Marshalls resulted in a one-hour stand off in the early hours of this morning. But it was quickly subdued when the SWAT team forced its way through the back door and the two were arrested."

The next image on the screen was of the police ushering them past collected reporters towards the police station. Questions were asked to them from every angle and microphones were held inches from their noses as cameras took continual pictures.

Kirsten rounded the corner timidly and looked at the screen.

"Do you feel any remorse for what you did? Do you have anything to say for yourselves?" one reporter asked.

"Remorse? Come on love but I do have something to say . . . you better remember us sweetheart, like I said sweetpea," and with that Bill closed his statement with a wink.

"The Salinas Police Commissioner, Stanley Kirkland had this to say," the voice over said.

"William and Gareth Truman are under arrest and in our custody and will be charged with abduction, torture and rape and they will stand trial under Californian jurisdiction and I only hope that their arrest will bring some semblance of justice and will make a step towards a complete recovery for Mrs Cohen and her family."

"As of yet, there hasn't been any further news on the Truman brothers and there hasn't been any comment from Mrs Cohen's family but William and Gareth Truman are no longer free to harm anyone else. Tara Ellis reporting."

"We're going t-" the television ended as Seth switched it off as a cue from Sandy's standing up. The patriarch stood and looked at the dumbfounded collected teenagers.

They all sat reflecting in silence at the breaking news.

Was it welcome news?

Did they want to have to make Kirsten relive her traumatic experience for court?

"It's over," Seth said softly breaking the silence.

"I guess so . . . I mean they're behind bars and they'll be sent to prison for what they did to your mom," Summer added, "right Sandy?"

"Yeh . . . he said unable to believe what he had just seen and heard, "they'll be tried and they'll be sentenced and sent away for a very long time if I have anything to say about it."

"They have to pay for what they did to Kirsten," Ryan said, "I mean look how it has affected her. She's not eating and we all know she's not sleeping."

"Yeh and they didn't seem to have any hint of remorse and what he said was straight to Kirsten. They really have to pay for what they did to her and the pain they caused you guys," Marissa gestured looking at Seth, Ryan and Sandy, "I had to stop myself from wanting to choke them and that's just the TV . . . by the way, where's the little one?"

"Ok, Julie took her down to the beach, she was getting restless being stuck in the house but," Sandy sighed, "I'm betting they'll be back any minute if the reporters here get wind of this, they'll be on them like cream cheese on a bagel."

"Nice bagel reference dad."

"I don't know how I'm gonna break this to your m-" he stopped speaking when he heard the scraping of a chair in the kitchen.

Suddenly, everyone whirled their heads round to see a distraught looking Kirsten leaning against the kitchen island.

"Kirsten, sweetheart . . . how long have – how much of that did you hear?" Sandy asked gently as he moved towards her.

Kirsten wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to stop her unconscious shivering.

"I – I . . . I . . . all of it," her voice quivered.

Everyone suppressed their impending gasps. They didn't want her to find out like that.

With no tenderness.

"Did you hear . . .?"

Kirsten nodded grimly.

"Aw honey, I didn't want you to find out like that but it's over now. They can't harm you any more," he said moving even closer and as softly as he could he placed his hands on her arms.

"No, it's not," she choked.

"What?"

"It's not over Sandy!"

"They're in custody. They'll go to prison."

"I know, but it's not over!" she said louder taking Sandy's hands off her arms, "It's not! Look at me! Does this look like it's over?" she added gesturing herself, "It's not! Every time I close my eyes, those two bastards are there! I can't do anything without them being there! They see me! They listen! I have to live everyday with them in my head."

Kirsten began to pull at her hair as her emotions and trauma bubbled and boiled in her blood. Unforbidden tears streamed down her face and she tore at her faint blonde hair.

"It's not over," she cried softly as her knees gently buckled.

Quickly, Sandy embraced his quivering wife as she fell to the floor. Her arms fell lifelessly from her hair and settled on her legs and her sobs wracked through her body. Sandy was there and whispered soothing words in her ear.

The four teenagers had to watch the woman they knew was once so incredibly calm and collected reduced to a broken and tortured woman before them. They didn't know if Kirsten would ever be the Kirsten Cohen they knew so well and loved so deeply.

Her body shook intensely in his arms and his words did little to comfort her.

"We're back," they heard Julie call after the door opened. Then they heard Scarlett's giggle sift through the house.

Julie's footsteps could be heard after the shutting of the door.

Quickly, Sandy gathered Kirsten into his arms.

"Could someone get the backdoor quickly," he said carrying Kirsten.

All four of them moved towards them where Summer opened the door and they all ushered Sandy out just before Julie rounded the corner.

"Hey," they chorused quickly standing defensively against the door.

"Hey," Julie replied suspiciously, "what's going on?"

"Nothing," Summer said immediately.

"Nothing," Marissa added quickly.

Julie turned around and moved into the family room where she placed Scarlett amongst her toys. Then she moved back to the teenagers.

Seth looked through the glass and saw his father sitting on a deckchair cradling his mother gently. It was a scene that tore at his heart. Usually, he would cringe at such a display. Now it only served as a grim reminder that his mother was just a mere shadow of herself.

"Ok," Julie interrupted, "I wanna know what is going on and don't say it's nothing."

The teenagers remained silent.

"I know you didn't anything because of Scarlett but she's happily playing with her toys but I want you four to tell me what is going on."

Seth pointed the remote control that was still in his hand past Julie where at once it came to life.

"-to recap our main headline this morning, the two men wanted by police for the abduction of Kirsten Cohen have been arrested following an anonymous call in Salinas."

Then, Seth silenced the machine once again.

"Oh my god," Julie whispered," does Sandy know?"

"Yeh . . . and so does Kirsten," Marissa answered.

"She didn't take it well," Summer added.

"Where are they? Is Kirsten alright?"

Silence.

The teenagers looked at each other and then slowly moved in unison to either side of the door that they guarded. Not knowing what to expect, Julie stepped towards the door and then timidly looked out.

Everything looked normal.

Clear azure sky.

Sparkling sapphire swimming pool.

Green grass.

Then she caught sight of Sandy on a deckchair and she then saw the back of Kirsten as she leaned her head against his shoulder and he rocked her back and forth. She watched with a heavy heart as his hand gently stroked her hair.

Suddenly the door bell rang.

Julie checked to see if Sandy or Kirsten had heard it but neither moved and they remained in their embrace.

"That's probably Caleb," Julie said moving away from the door and heading through the house.

"Or reporters," Ryan adding following her footsteps.

As they approached the door, they both looked through the frosted decorative glass and the saw silhouette of one person.

Cautiously, Julie opened the door as Ryan stood opposite her.

"Cal," she breathed.

"I heard the news and came straight over," he said walking in.

Julie and Ryan became aware of people calling their names and badgering them with various questions.

"Where is she?" Caleb asked.

"She's with Sandy," Julie answered, "outside," she added gesturing towards the backyard.

Caleb's eyes followed and saw his daughter's head resting limply on Sandy's shoulder with her arm laying lifelessly over his which was wrapped around her back. Then he caught something out of the corner of his eye.

"What was that?" he asked staring at the hedges.

"What?" Julie and Ryan asked.

"That. Something glinted in the bushes. There. See," Caleb said pointing at the distance.

Ryan and Julie squinted at the bushes and tried to see what Caleb has noticed.

Several seconds passed until a glint came again.

"There!" Ryan said.

Suddenly he noticed the bush move of its own accord.

"It just moved! Someone's there!"

"It's a camera!" Caleb bellowed.

Ryan immediately darted from the door, across the house and ripped the doors open before running up the steps, past Sandy and Kirsten to the bush. Once there, he reached his hands in between the foliage immediately and grabbed the khaki jacket of a hidden reporter and pulled him out into the open. Ryan tore the camera from his hands and threw it to the ground behind him.

Julie and Caleb had quickly seen to Kirsten and Sandy and gotten them inside to safety. By this time, Summer, Marissa and Seth had come out and joined Ryan overlooking the dumbfounded reporter.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Ryan demanded angrily.

He didn't answer.

Caleb and Sandy had returned after making sure Kirsten was safe and calm with Julie and they took over from Ryan.

"What the hell do you think you are doing? This is private property! We can have you arrested for trespassing," Caleb lashed.

The quivering man remained quiet as he sat idly on the grass.

"How much are you expecting to get for this?" Sandy asked picking up the camera," How much? The better the picture, the bigger the price or should I say bounty! I hope that you feel that it's worth ruining my wife's time at home during her recovery! My wife doesn't deserve to be badgered by you and I hope you're happy. You'll be hearing from me. Now get out!"

The reporter got to his feet and ran through the bushes along the side of the house.

"I think we better look for other devices that may be hidden . . . mom does spend a lot of time out here," Seth said as he began to scour the flora that decorated the backyard.

"Yeh kids, do you mind doing that?" Sandy asked.

"Sure, we'll do that."

"Thanks, I'll join you in a few minutes, I'm just gonna make sure that Kirsten is alright."

"Don't worry about it, jus make sure she's ok," Summer replied as Sandy moved back into the house.

Sandy walked back into the bedroom silently and saw Kirsten sitting on the edge of the bed silently with her back towards him.

"How is she?" he asked Julie softly as she sat in a nearby chair.

"She hasn't said a word or moved since you left."

"Ok, thanks Julie. I'll take it from here."

"Ok, let me know if you need anything."

"I will thank you," he added as she closed the door behind her.

Silence immediately descended the room.

Sandy didn't know what to say or how to act.

He was lost.

Kirsten was on the other side of the room drowning in her ocean of nightmares and she was being pulled under by the monsters that seemed to have an unyielding grip on her.

"Kirsten . . ." he began softly.

She didn't move.

He edged forward towards her.

Slowly he sat on the bed with her.

Her eyes stared at the carpet.

"Kirsten . . ."

Silence.

Her breathing rapidly sped up.

Before Sandy could respond her fingers wrapped themselves around his neck and exerted all the force her frail muscles could muster. Her fierce screams of anger broke the silence and pierced mercilessly the cloud of quiet that had been forever present.

"Kirsten-" he choked slightly, "sweetheart."

"Leave me alone. Get out of my head!" she screamed.

"Honey it's Sandy . . . .Kirsten!"

Releasing her grip, she stood up and slapped her hard hand against his face. Immediately, taking no notice of his stinging cheek, Sandy stood up and tried to calm her down.

Her hands began to pummel his chest.

He simply took it.

Her fists continued their tirade but slowly her force began to wane as her energy drained.

Stopping, her hands dropped to her side as she swayed slightly. Her head moved haphazardly and her knees began to buckle. Sandy quickly caught her as all her energy felt her body and she collapsed helplessly into his arms.

"You're ok . . . I'm here," he whispered.

Gently, he scooped her up and placed her on the bed where he put a blanket gently over her. Cautiously, not knowing whether he should or not, he bent down over her and left the softest kiss on her forehead. Afterwards, he stood up and walked towards the door to the backyard. Taking one last look back, he took in her sleeping form.

She was different from the many other times he had looked over her.

Why did this have to happen to her?

* * *

**Whoa! 30 Chapters! I'm sure you're probably knackered reading this by know! Thanks so much for continuing to read this and for putting up with me and not updating as regularly as I should. Thanks. Next chapter will be soon.**


	31. February Lament

**I know it's a tad late for Valentines but this is a Valentines chapter and it definitely helps to include a time line in stories so you can keep track of what time of year you are writing in lol as I just discovered.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any OC character.**

* * *

Sandy hectically rallied around the kitchen as he prepared breakfast. He circled the kitchen island, repeatedly opening and closing the fridge door and several cupboards retrieving several key ingredients. He mumbled to himself as he checked everything was precise and perfect.

He grabbed a rose from a nearby vase and placed it on the vase on the dining room table.

He stood back and scrutinised the arrangement.

'_No_' he thought and put the rose back from where he got it.

He rhymed off his devised checklist of things that we wanted and needed for the breakfast he was preparing for Kirsten. He reviewed everything that he did and needed to do.

'_Ok'_ he thought.

"Hey dad," Seth greeted as he interrupted his father's musings upon entering the kitchen.

"Morning," Sandy replied coming out his reverie for a second.

Seth filled his cup with coffee and leaned against the counter watching his father's intense gaze at the dining room table.

"Dad?"

"What?"

"Is there something particularly interesting about the table? I know it has a lovely wood grain in it and whatever but you're looking at it pretty intently. If you stared at it any longer or closer your face would be into the grain."

"Sorry . . . just making a special breakfast for your mother and I just – I just want everything to be perfect for her," Sandy said, "It's Valentines."

'_Guess who just got struck by Cupid's Arrow?_' Seth remembered Kirsten rhyming off.

Kirsten's enthusiasm for Valentines Day used to push Sandy's patience towards breaking point because the frenzy that February the fourteenth incurred in men all over the world seemed ridiculous. They had to fork out money on flowers and chocolates one day out of the year because of Hersheys and Hallmark. Sandy smiled to himself as he thought of all the years when he pretended to be locking horns with Saint Valentine but ultimately at the end of Valentines Day, he would shower Kirsten with chocolates and flowers. Particularly roses and caramel chocolates which he knew were her favourites.

Last year, he didn't get the chance to fight with her about the useless label on February the fourteenth and then decorate her with love and affection. Last year, she was in the company of pure evil and malice with no love or affection to cheer her up. She didn't have her foam arrow and crossbow to tease and annoy Sandy and Seth with. That day was humanly unbearable without Kirsten in his arms. Throughout that day he saw her shadow wandering around every corner and he would carry a rose in his pocket on the chance that he would see her. He would give that lone rose to her as a symbol that he never forgot her or how much she loved that day.

Seth recalled how lost his father was without his mother. His dad wandered aimlessly around without the usual twinkle in his eye which sparkled saying that he had planned something elaborate for his wife. Seth was grateful that he had Summer. She took his mind of the bitter shadow that lurked over the day and the gap that was prevalent with his mother missing.

"She'll enjoy it. You know how much she loves Valentines."

"I hope so because I'm sure she needs it," Sandy replied as he continued his erratic movements around the kitchen.

"Yeh . . . how is she? Is she – ok?" Seth asked uncertain of his words.

Sandy paused in his tracks. He slowly thought of his answer and how he could put words to his mind. He could lie to his son and tell him that everything was 'hunky dory' but he knew that it wasn't. Kirsten was showing some progress to becoming the woman that he fell in love with but with progress came downfalls. She would become so withdrawn that he couldn't do anything to help her. She refused to eat an entire meal and she spent the nights crying into the carpet because she didn't want to sleep on the bed.

He was lost but was trying to keep his head about water, in the hopes that some saviour would come along.

"Honestly son . . . I'm not sure if she is. She's getting there but . . ." he trailed off.

"She's not 'mom'," Seth finished looking into the deep darkness of his coffee.

"No . . . I don't think we'll ever get your mother back," Sandy sighed.

Kirsten stood outside the kitchen leaning up against the wall and had listened to the short exchange between Sandy and Seth. She rested her head against the wall and absorbed their words.

She's not 'mom'.

She's not Seth's 'mother'.

She's no longer that woman.

Kirsten felt tears trying to break through as she felt herself slid door the wall to the floor. She hugged her legs to her chest as her jeans absorbed her fallen tears as she smothered her own sobs.

Forcing herself up from the floor, Kirsten headed back to the bedroom where she sought refuge in the bathroom where she wiped her tears from her cheeks. She knew that she had to stop being like this. But it was easier said than done and her therapist had been trying to coax her out of her shell but her overwhelming fear stopped her.

She knew that she had to become Kirsten Cohen again without 'whore' being whispered from the shadows anymore.

As Kirsten made her way out of the bathroom she noticed a burgundy coloured box on the floor. She had been aware of it for a few weeks and she remembered what it was used for. Kirsten lowered herself to the floor and leaned up against the chest of drawers that it sat beside. Lifting off the lid she was greeted by a photograph of Seth and Ryan in suits smiling at the camera. The next one was of her boys with Marissa and Summer in beautiful dresses.

Kirsten leafed through the photographs and reminisced about the functions that they were taken at or the memory stirred by each image. Then she came to one of her and Sandy from the Singles Dance Gala two years ago.

It was towards the end of the evening when she had warmed up to Sandy.

'_Sometimes you make it hard to hate you_' she remembered saying as she sat on his lap.

In the image, she was standing in front of Sandy as he rested his head next to hers and he had his arms wrapped around her waist. They both smiled at the camera. The next photograph was Sandy's own where he held out his arm to capture them stealing a kiss.

Looking at these, Kirsten could not remember the last time she smiled or even if she could smile. She ran her fingers over the image almost trying to go back to that moment and to erase everything that happened to her since.

"Go find your mommy darling," she heard Sandy say from the next room.

Quickly, she fumbled as she tried to get the photographs back into the box before placing the box back into its place. She needed the place to be well organised as she feared Kirsten would be unhappy with the state of the place whenever she came 'back'. Just as she slid the box back into its place, Scarlett toddled around the corner happily. Kirsten stopped the child from tripping over her as she was still on the floor.

"Hey you," she greeted the toddler.

"Got you!" Scarlett said with glee.

"Good girl," Kirsten replied as she played with the little girl's hair.

Scarlett then held out a flower out to Kirsten's face.

"You," she simply said.

Kirsten took the rose in her hand and looked at the deep red petals. An image of the deep colour of her blood flashed before her eyes when Gary had cut her harshly. Instantly, she tried to push that image from her head as she tried to reconnect with Kirsten Cohen.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Kirsten stood up and lifted the child into her arms and walked out of the closet where she found Sandy waiting expectantly.

"Morning," he greeted her with a smile.

"Morning . . . Scarlett found me and gave me this," she said softly indicating the rose in her hand.

"Did she? Well you know, that girl, she loves giving people roses," he tried, "Happy Valentines" he added unsure of whether or not to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, Happy Valentines."

* * *

The family later escaped from the claustrophobic confines of Newport Beach to the peaceful countryside that was miles away. They came away to a beautiful country home which a friend of Sandy's owned and offered him and his family for several days of peace and quiet.

Seth and Summer were sitting on the bench outside in the sun as Scarlett occupied herself with the many flowers and the little puppy that ran around her feet. The two teenagers heard her light giggled as Ryan and Marissa came around the corner to meet them.

"Hey guys," Marissa greeted, "I see Scarlett is busy."

"Yeh, she's been running around on the grass for ages," Summer added.

"And I see too that Harry's dog is getting her on her toes."

"Well, she's fallen on her bum a few times but she just gets up again and laughs it off," Seth said.

"Well as long as she doesn't get hurt," Ryan pointed out looking at Scarlett as she played with the petals of a growing flower.

"Do any of you guys want a drink, I'm thirsty?" Marissa asked.

"No I'm good," Seth and Summer replied together.

"Ryan?"

"I could do with some water."

"Ok . . . I'll be right back."

And with that, Marissa entered the house and retrieved two bottles of water and came back out.

"Here you go," she said handing one to Ryan.

"Thanks."

"Where did Sandy and Kirsten go? They're not in the house," Marissa asked Seth and Summer.

"Oh they went for a walk. Mom said she needed some air and dad didn't want to let her go alone – naturally."

* * *

Sandy strolled casually along the country road with Kirsten slightly behind him with her hands shyly stuffed into her pockets. Sandy paused so that she could catch up. He could tell that something was on her mind.

"You ok?" he asked softly.

"Yeh – fine."

They continued to walk from then side by side and she looked at the countryside that sprawled around her. The dry grass swayed slightly but the sky unbeknownst to them was beginning to darken.

They continued to walk for another half hour when the first raindrop hit Sandy's forehead and he instantly looked up at the darker clouds that had gathered above them.

"Looks like it's gonna try and rain."

Kirsten didn't respond.

Kirsten continued to walk on without paying attention to the raindrops that were falling onto her head. Sandy quickly caught up with her and walked alongside her.

Then the rain began to get heavier.

"Kirsten, honey, I think she should head back."

She didn't respond.

"Kirsten," he tried, "would you stop! It's raining."

She continued to walk on as the rain drops kept coming down.

"Kirsten, please. You'll get soaked."

"I don't care."

"You'll get a cold."

"Don't care."

"Kirsten, stop please."

"No one by that name here," she spat suddenly.

"What?"

"That's what you said isn't it!"

Sandy was dumbfounded. He didn't understand what she meant.

"I'm not Kirsten. I'm not the woman you fell in love with!"

"I never said that Kirsten," Sandy tried.

"You said 'I don't think we'll ever get your mother back' so you're left with me. The woman you don't love! The woman that none of you can stand," she cried before pushing past him while the raindrops began to pelt down.

"Kirsten!" he called after her.

"Don't Sandy! Don't tell me that I_ am_ Kirsten and that I_ am_ the woman that you fell in love with because I won't believe it. You know why?" she asked angrily, "Because I don't see that woman anymore. I don't feel her inside me anymore. I'm not her and apparently according to you, I never will be again. So why don't I save you the heartache of trying to find her again and just going away."

Before she could turn around again, he held her arm tightly and made her face him.

"How can you say that? Kirsten, how can you?" he asked calmly, "I know you said that you didn't want to hear it but you obviously haven't been listening when I say it but I love you. I love you Kirsten. I love the woman that I'm looking at right now, right before me. I'll keep saying it until you believe it because it's the truth. Yes, you have changed but that's because of what – what you've been through and I-"

"How can you love me? I'm a hideous monster. Every time I look in the mirror I don't see a person. I see a thing. I can't see what you see."

"Then listen to what I say Kirsten! I love you."

Kirsten closed her eyes.

"Would you listen to me!!? Would you at least listen Sandy!" she screamed before forcibly removing his hands from her arms and heading to a coup of nearby trees.

Kirsten ran through the rain that showered her face and which merged with her tears. The drops rain through her hair like they fell down her cheeks. Her feet carried her as her heart broke in her chest.

She passed several trees before her energy gave out and she collapsed up against a tree.

Kirsten leaned her forehead against the bark as her body wracked with sobs and her forearms covered her eyes.

Then, she turned around and slid down the tree trunk until she gathered herself into a pool at the base where she wrapped her arms around herself and hugged her knees up to her body.

Several minutes later she became aware of footsteps coming towards her.

The person didn't say anything.

She felt someone lowering themselves down beside her and they placed their arm over her shoulders as she shivered uncontrollably.

She knew it was Sandy.

Almost immediately, she turned and leaned into his chest and sobbed.

He rubbed her arms and back in an attempt to comfort her.

Sandy rested his head on top of hers.

"I'll listen Kirsten, I'll listen," he whispered.

He waited for her to talk.

"I just – I just don't want – I don't want everyone to expect me to be who I was – I'm not her – I don't know her – everything that happened – everything they – they did – changed me – I'm not that Kirsten anymore – she died – and now – I don't think that – that anyone likes this Kirsten – they don't care for her – they don't want her – they don't like me."

Sandy heard every word she said and every word tore right through him like a dagger. He didn't know that she felt like this. He assumed that the way she behaved was due to the beatings that Gary and Bill inflicted on her but her behaviour was in fact due to him and the family.

"I'm sorry that we treated you like that . . . I had no idea, I'm so sorry we put you through that."

He gently kissed the top of her head.

They sat like that together for what seemed like an eternity. Just the two of them in their own little world away from the hustle and bustle of Newport.

Sandy watched as the raindrops hit the ground in front of him as they fell from the leaves above. He couldn't help but think that the Kirsten that his wife referred to had fallen like that. From somewhere as high as a tree top, to the cold dark earth below. The raindrop didn't scream but his mind tortured him with the scream of Kirsten. He had been tortured with that unbearable sound for over a year. Every night while his nightmares blurred, he could hear Kirsten screaming for help.

Help from him.

Help from God.

Help from anybody who could hear her.

But in his nightmare, no matter how hard he tried, he could never help her.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Kirsten's light tug on his jumper as she took a deep breath because her sobs as subsided.

"I love you."

Sandy knew that those words didn't come out of his mouth.

"What?" he asked unsure.

"I love you," he heard Kirsten saying as she sat up to look at him, "and – I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"Oh honey."

He held her closer.

They held each other for several minutes.

"Do you wanna head back – get dried off? Get a drier ass cuz mine is soaked right through, see," Sandy asked smiling.

"Yeh," Kirsten replied smiling.

'_Thank God, a smile'_ he thought to himself happily.

"Come on, let's go."

Sandy got up off the ground and rubbed any loose twigs and dirt of the bottom of his jeans before offering his hand out to Kirsten.

She took it and he helped her up to her feet.

Once on her feet they stood together and looked deep into each others' eyes.

Slowly, they moved closer to each other.

Their eyes remained locked.

Kirsten leaned closer and her lips met his.

She kissed him.

Sandy couldn't believe it.

Euphoria flowed through him without boundaries.

Kirsten kissed him.

He felt like he was twenty two years younger when she first kissed him.

He kissed her back.

It was the first time that he had been able to kiss his wife in seventeen months. He had kissed her on the head several times to comfort her but never on the lips. It was something that he had missed. The feel of her lips against his was like being in warm water after being in the freezing depths of the Atlantic for a month.

It was pure bliss.

'_Guess who just got struck by Cupid's Arrow_?'

* * *

**Sorry for the continual angst but since a wee bit of that shell has been broken, I can now write some nicer less angsty stuff :)**


	32. Ease This Precious Ache

**I apologise for the failure to update this fic regularly but I've been having major problems with writing and as always writer's block. My worst enemy it seems but nonetheless, a foe that can be overcome.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any OC character.

* * *

**

Again, Kirsten sat in the beige waiting room. The polished coffee table sat mathematically opposite her in the middle of the room and the images of happy and smiling models on the covers of the magazines seemed to stare back at her mockingly. The frosted window on the door cut her off from the corridor outside. She was grateful for that. Grateful that curious pass-byers couldn't see her anxiously waiting as they glanced in. Her fingers circled each other frantically as she looked around.

The wooden floor guided a path towards the office door. The chairs sat align with the wall. The plants stood to attention as the glorious sunlight bathed their green leaves as the rays filtered easily through the blinds. The cushion that was sitting on the chair opposite her had an imprint from when the last person sat there. Kirsten couldn't help but stare at it.

The shadows that the indent created played with her mind.

Her eyes darted around the office again.

She didn't know why she was so nervous. It wasn't her first time visiting her therapist so it wasn't the anxiety about talking about her ordeal. What was it?

Agitated, Kirsten stood up and paced the room back and forth and circled the coffee table several times all the while she gnawed on her thumb nail.

'_Kirsten, stop biting your nails'_ she remembered her father order when she was younger.

Immediately, her hand flew to side but as quickly as it fell, it flew up to her neck.

Her eye caught the cushion again.

_Kirsten lay curled up on her mattress in the never-ending darkness that constantly surrounded her. Demons cried out from every direction. Long deformed fingers reached out from the depths of the dark and smothered h__er skin. Eyes seemed to peer at her and giggle at her. She struggled against the cruel cackles and the taunting taps and when it all came to a boil, she lashed out and pummelled the pillow near her, creating dent after dent. Popping out one and punishing the material with another._

"_Oy, you! Shut it!" Gary bellowed as he swung open the door harshly letting the stark white light assault her eyes._

_Kirsten scrunched herself up into a smaller ball._

_Before the door shut, Gary paused as he leered at her._

_The light caught the pillow and he stared at the cavern she created with her fists._

"_You do that?" he asked monotonously, "you did didn't you."_

_Stepping behind the door, he closed it and Kirsten heard the thuds of his boots come closer._

Quickly, she headed towards the cushion and fixed it so that it looked pristine. The cavern disappeared and a smooth surface appeared as she pulled the corners of the cushion. Gently, Kirsten glided her fingers over the material and felt for any sign of a crease.

Nothing.

The light in the room dimmed as the clouds overcast the town. Frightened, she whirled around as she heard the click of a door opening.

"Mrs. Cohen?"

Kirsten froze and her eyes remained rigidly stuck on the opened door.

"Kirsten?"

"Yes?" she answered meekly as she reached behind her, making sure the cushion was perfect.

"Would you like to come in?" she asked softly.

Kirsten swallowed the oxygen that she held in her mouth, "sure."

The therapist waited patiently as Kirsten picked up her handbag and entered the office, closely followed by the therapist.

Doctor Stewart quietly closed the door and gestured gently for Kirsten to take a seat and to make herself comfortable. Then, she went to her desk and without sitting looked at the papers in front of her.

"How are you today Kirsten?" she asked kindly.

"I'm ok . . ."

Doctor Stewart looked down at her patient from her desk.

"Well, as well as can be expected."

"Has anything happened since the last time we talked?" she asked as she came around her desk and placed herself in a chair opposite Kirsten.

Kirsten moved to speak but she desperately tried to grasp at the words that stuck in her throat.

"Sandy took me out of town for Valentines."

She paused.

"And . . . I burst out at Sandy . . . but after I calmed down, he put his arm around me," she recalled, "and then . . . I said . . . I told him that I loved him."

"What made you say that?"

"I – I didn't think that today's the day that I'm going to tell Sandy that I love him. It just spilled out . . . while I was first in The Dark; I used to think about him. Imagine his face, hear him whisper to me . . . but as time went on, he just faded from my mind – I couldn't see or hear him anymore. But . . . when I was sitting there with his arm around me, every single thought of him came back . . . every time he tried to hold me as I got better, every time he told me that he loved me and would be there for me . . . it just felt right to say."

"How do you think Sandy reacted to those words?"

"When he says them to me, I don't think I'm worthy of them but when I said them . . . I don't know . . . he looked as if he imagined me saying them. I guess he never expected me to say them after everything."

Silence.

"I want to go into why you don't feel _you_ deserve to be loved," Doctor Stewart asked as she crossed her legs.

Kirsten looked down at her fingers. The light that filtered into the office caught her platinum rings. Her eyes caught the glint and her fingers automatically twiddled with the bands.

"_Kirsten, do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness and health, for richer for poorer until death do you part?"_

"_I do"_

"_Oooo plat-in-num. You won't need these anymore darling"_ she remembered Bill hiss.

"I don't . . . what they did to me . . . I felt like – like all the dust that was in that room attached itself to my skin and – in my dreams I felt like it was decaying me. Taking away everything. Eating away at my skin – my eyes – my lips – my heart. I was being consumed by everything in that room . . . and then them," she breathed.

"Bill and Gary."

Kirsten shut at her eyes at the mention of their names but even that wasn't an escape as their images assaulted her eyes.

"They taunted me," Kirsten whispered.

Doctor Stewart waited for Kirsten to continue.

"They said that Sandy wouldn't want to be with me, or even look at me because of what I did."

"What did you do?"

"I – I . . .didn't do anything to – to stop them . . . they kept telling me that I was ugly and disgusting and not worth anything."

"And you think that that is how Sandy saw you?"

"I couldn't not . . . they yelled at me repeatedly – screaming these insults at me, I couldn't not listen to them – that just . . . it just caused them to get angrier and . . . and when they get angry, I get punished," Kirsten breathed.

Doctor Stewart furrowed her brow.

"Why did you use the word 'punished'? Did you believe that you had behaved badly?" Stewart asked.

Kirsten grabbed her rings again.

She ran her hand up into her hair and grabbed at her locks.

"The Dark gave me time to think and at first the same question came to my mind over and over . . . why me? . . . And when no answer came, just their verbal abuse, I accepted that this was a punishment for something . . . for not being who I was supposed to be . . . my father's vengeance at me marrying Sandy . . . not being closer to my children . . ."

"As you said last time, they said that they picked you randomly so they wouldn't know about your family or your past . . . do you think they were punishing you for their mistakes . . . is it possible that they were punishing themselves for taking you when they knew it was wrong?"

"Aren't you the one that's supposed to be answering that?"

"Yes but I'm asking your opinion," Stewart smiled.

Kirsten looked down again.

She thought back to The Dark. She thought about how Bill and Gary would storm into the room in a drunken rage and make themselves one with the demons that engulfed her mercilessly. The sweet devil had entwined himself into the shadows and breathed a bitter stench into the air.

"If they did . . . they had a peculiar way of showing it," Kirsten replied between gritted teeth.

Doctor Stewart nodded at Kirsten's reply.

Kirsten looked at around as she took in the increasingly familiar office. A mahogany bookcase stood against the wall to her left and snaked around the corner and along the back of Doctor Stewart's desk. Files and books littered the shelves while various ornaments broke up the countless papers.

The deep scarlet furniture neatly complimented the colour scheme that added an air of comfort to the room. The room didn't feel as claustrophobic as the waiting room.

'_That's it!'_ Kirsten thought as she realised the cause of her nervousness.

"Their words – what they said to me – they were unlike anything I had ever heard before in my life . . . they were so harsh and cruel and uncaring . . . and . . . and my family have protected me from such cruelty all my life . . . what they said just broke me down bit by bit and with no one to build me back up again . . . I just wasted away into nothingness and that's how I felt in the end," she said, "like nothing."

"And Sandy and your family built you back up," Stewart finished.

"The Humpty Dumpty of Newport as my son would probably say, but one who could be rebuilt," Kirsten smiled to herself.

Doctor Stewart couldn't help but smile at the comment.

Kirsten looked calmly at how the blue shades of her jeans weaved themselves so effortlessly into each other. They joined together to make something so comfortable.

'_Like me and Sandy'_ she thought softly.

"I kissed Sandy," Kirsten confessed looking up at Doctor Stewart who looked back at Kirsten.

Kirsten's fingers twisted around her rings for what seemed like the umpteenth time.

Doctor Stewart looked at Kirsten expectantly.

"It just felt right."

"How is that?"

"Ever since – since I was found . . . Sandy had been kissing my hand and my head to show that he was there for me, you know, for comfort . . . and in any instant where I imagined him kiss me . . . a memory of them . . . doing what they did to me when – when they kissed me flashed in my head and I got scared."

"Why did you feel that?"

"I know he wouldn't but I feared that Sandy would do the same or he wouldn't want to touch my lips because of what they did. I felt like my lips were full of poison and on that day out of town, that fear went away and it just felt right. It was like having my first kiss all over again."

Stewart nodded.

"It seems obvious that you are trusting the people around you, not only with your safety but also your emotions and that is a large step for someone to take after such an ordeal. Do you feel you overcame something?"

Kirsten took a moment to answer, "Yes I do . . . I overcame the fear that Sandy would reject me and that he was only taking care of me out of pity and that he would wake up one morning and be disgusted. But that wasn't true at all. I was being irrational and how I behaved wasn't fair on Sandy or the family."

"They care about you a great deal Kirsten."

"I know," Kirsten smiled, "and I only regret putting them through this kind of strain."

"But they understood that it would be hard for you to instantly trust anyone after everything. Your ordeal put a tremendous strain on your psychological and physical wellbeing. But this is why you are here; to heal your mind."

"I wish I could heal my relationships," Kirsten muttered under her breath.

"I'm sorry?"

"Nothing," she replied defensively.

"It obviously isn't or you wouldn't have mumbled it."

"I overheard Sandy telling Seth that he doesn't think that they'll ever get their Kirsten back . . . that comment was one of the reasons why I lashed out at Sandy and he said that he only wanted me to be me but I remember what I used to be like . . . but I felt like when I came back, I was almost an empty clone and I didn't know anything. Like I said before, it felt strange being back with everybody because I had resigned myself to my fate . . . and I know I'm talking more fluidly today-"

"Yes I noticed that."

"And I think it's because I took down part of my wall that blocked everyone out and I allowed Sandy in and he's only ever been the only one I wanted to take it down for and he made everything I did and said ok. They weren't mistakes; he didn't force me to 'bounce back' in a way."

"It's good that you have realised that those are the reasons why are beginning to trust the people you love and that you now understand Sandy in a new light."

Kirsten nodded.

"And that is obvious in the way that you keep clutching your rings."

Kirsten looked down and saw how her finger snaked around her rings.

"_With this ring I thee wed," Sandy said as he guided the ring onto her slender finger_.

"I always hold them when I need strength and when – when they took my rings from me I didn't know what they were going to do with them . . . one of them threatened to sell them for some money. I felt lost without them; they're my connection to Sandy," Kirsten explained softly.

"Well you are definitely making progress from last time – I could barely get a sentence out of you but you did convey how you felt drowned in the house but now you've broken the fear that has smothered you and that has prevented you from living your life. As a therapist, it is very pleasing to see how comfortable you are getting in your life and although you are living it, there is still some anxiety and that's perfectly natural. It's very pleasing."

"I just hope I can be natural again."

"You will but it'll take time and with your family, you can take all the time you need and you won't have to rush anything. And your daughter will grow up with you as well."

'_I never thought of it that way'_ Kirsten thought.

Suddenly, it came to her mind.

Her daughter's birthday was in less than a month. Her second birthday. Then the pain hit her as she realised that she had missed Scarlett's first birthday and as Sandy told her, Scarlett's first words and steps. It tore at her heart when she remembered that Scarlett's first word was 'mommy'.

'_I should've been there'_ Kirsten cursed herself, _'I should've been there'_.

"Kirsten?"

Snapping out of her reverie, Kirsten looked at Doctor Stewart.

"You alright?"

"Yes I realised that it's Scarlett's birthday next month . . . she'll be two years old and . . . and I missed her first birthday, her first steps and her first words . . . all because of them."

"It is painful to miss milestones like them but you have the rest to look forward to, first day at school, high school, college, first boyfriend, everything," Stewart attempted.

"I know but it's the principal of the thing . . . she's my only daughter and the last time I saw her, she was only six months old and now she's almost two. I missed so much in between then . . . It hurts."

Doctor Stewart nodded.

"But in an attempt to not sound too cliché, I'm afraid we will have to discuss this next time. Our time is up," she said as she looked at her watch.

"Of course," Kirsten nodded as she collected herself.

"We'll discuss your children next time if that's ok with you."

"Ok."

Standing up, they both walked towards the door. Doctor Stewart opened the door and allowed Kirsten to cross the threshold where she saw that Sandy was waiting for her.

"Hey," he greeted standing up as he made his way to greet her.

"Hey," Kirsten replied as she let him kiss her on the cheek.

"So how's she doing Helen?"

"Very well, I'm very pleased with her progress as I've told her."

Sandy wrapped his arm around Kirsten and gave her a reassuring rub on the back.

"Thank you," Kirsten said.

* * *

**Woooooohoooo. Updated. Hopefully that'll keep you satisfied for about a month. I have exams to do and I can't afford to update this anyway. I was only able to this time because I took a break on a Saturday night and finished it today. Enjoy.**


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